I've been included in a Minnesota anthology "Under Purple Skies", now available on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Misfit Christmas 2009, or, In The Land of The Drunken, The Loquacious Man is King

It okay with you if I just lay here on the couch while we talk? I've got a bit of a headache.

Saturday night was Misfit Christmas, an annual event wherein old friends, new friends, and friends of friends come to the house bearing gifts, six packs, trays of food, and the best of attitudes.

I started out, as I always do, with the best of intentions: I was going to take pictures. I was going to chronicle the party.

There would be portraiture, and, should the need arise later, proof.

And I was darn good about it, too. Right up until about the arrival of the 10th guest, whereupon I became distracted by laughter and bright, shiny beer cans.

But what, you ask, is involved in a Misfit Christmas?

Well, there should be a game, and specifically a game that involves gifts. The “you-shakes-the-dice-you-steals-the-presents” game was as raucous as last year; and I walked away with a giant pencil (with its own sharpener), bath salts, and a notebook for my purse. Other people won, among many things, candles; perfume; home-made Christmas-themed fridge magnets; bottles of wine, a number of books, and a rather obscene statue involving two pigs dressed as medical professionals.

Which reminds me. Whoever won the beef heart? It’s still in my fridge. I can’t believe you didn’t take that home.

Then there’s singing. This year’s karaoke was as it usually is: a mixture of genuine talent and good-natured hollering. The interpretive dance, however, was a new addition to the festivities. Kansas’ “Dust in the Wind”, in particular, lent itself to a bending, swaying, pirouetting normally found amongst only snake-handlers and epileptics.

There should be food at Misfit Christmas, as well. We went with clam chowder, but any non-staining food would do. Our guests brought food as well, and if you haven’t tried the Buffalo Chicken dip, then my dear, you simply haven’t lived.

The night ended as it always does: on the smoking porch. We could see our breath, even without the cigarettes, but we were drunk, there were flannels and blankets, and there was the possibility that Dave would drop his pants again. Who could leave?

The taxi came for Vin at 3:30, Charlie and George left at 3:45, and Mary and I grazed on the leftover Christmas cookies until 4:00, whereupon we retired, her to the couch we made up and me to the bed in the other room.



And now you know what makes up a Misfit Christmas. And if you’re going to have one, give me a call. I can bring the dip.

24 comments:

darsden said...

Beautiful picture Pearl, sounds and looks like you had a wonderful Christmas

savannah said...

FABULOUS! i think we need to have a misfit xmas next year, sugar!

Kim said...

Now THAT sounds like fun!

Fragrant Liar said...

Now that looks like a fun party. There are bright, shiny beer cans AND somebody drops their pants? Count me in for next year!

Ms Sparrow said...

I can't believe that you didn't mention Bette Midler was there!

MamaOtwins+1 said...

That sounds like such a fun party!

Menopausal New Mom said...

Now that sounds like a party I could enjoy! Hope you had a blast and the headache today is worth it!

Warty Mammal said...

This sounds so awesome. I'd be tempted to bring over a crapload of stuff and dump it, pretending it was "presents", though.

Nancy/BLissed-Out Grandma said...

That sounds like sooo much fun!

Jayne Martin said...

I would make it till about 10:00 and then pass out. The perils of being an old fart.

The Jules said...

Ooh, a misfits party?

I'd fit in!

mapstew said...

Well when I decide to take a trip to Minneapolis it's gonna HAVE to be at Christmas! Singing AND drinking? I mean really, I should be there. I just should! :¬)

xxx

anon said...

Thats it! I'm coming to brush your hair!

Buffalo chicken dip? Thats just weird.

sage said...

You'll bring non-staining dip? Sounds like fun.

justsomethoughts... said...

alls i heard was that you got a new notebook
the rest of it is a blur

Beth said...

Pants went down? Sounds like a fun party!

Jodie Kash said...

Loving the darker locks and bangs, Lisa Loeb-ish cute.

Kavi said...

Oh the karoake ! And the hollering. That seems to be part of every culture !

:)

Joanna Jenkins said...

That sounds like one great party! But I'd still be asleep recovering.
xo

Tempo said...

Most of my friends would get arrested before they even got there...or they'd be so smashed they wouldn't find their way in the first place.
That's a great smile you have there, possibly fuelled by alcohol?

Unknown said...

Ohhhh, I like your kind of partying Pearl!

The Retired One said...

It sounds like you had an AWFUL time. Better luck next year.
and that chicken dip...need the recipe,Pearl...don't hold out on us!!!

Pearl said...

Believe it or not, I'm pretty sober in that picture. :-)

The Buffalo Chicken Dip:
1 pkg (8 oz) cream cheese, softened
2 cans (9.75 oz each) canned chicken breast, drained.
1/2 cup Frank's Redhot Sauce
1/2 cup blue cheese salad dressing
1/2 cup crumbled blue cheese

1. Stir cream cheese in deep backing dish until smooth. Stir in remaining ingredients.
2. Bake at 350 F. for 20 minutes until hot and bubbling. Stir. Serve with crackers or vegetables.

Or make the whole thing in a crockpot. :-)

I also know people who use Ranch dressing instead of blue cheese...

mapstew said...

Canned Chicken Breast??

Canned fucking chicken breast??

Whatever next?