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Thursday, December 24, 2009

Because I’m Nothing If Not Here For My Friends

I have a friend who can be relied upon to be honest with herself.

“I’ve got a feeling,” she said recently, rubbing her chin with the ends of her fingers, her eyes glazed and staring into the distance.


“Hairs. I’m going to be sprouting hairs somewhere on my face, and soon. I can just tell.”

“What, you get a tingly feeling, or what?”

“Something like that,” she said. “Ya weirdo.”

“You’re the one predicting hair growth,” I said.

“Hmm,” she said, as if to concede a point. “I’ve got a theory.”

I waited. Mary’s theories are the stuff of legend.

“Hair Fairies.”

“Excuse me?”

“Hair Fairies,” she repeated. Her fingers ceased their exploratory trek across her chin. “Like the opposite of a Tooth Fairy. See, she doesn’t show up to take hairs away, she stops by to drop them off.”

“On your face.”

“And yours,” she said.

I felt my chin. “I don’t feel any,” I said.

“The Hair Fairy usually comes at night,” she said thoughtfully. She paused. “We should make a pact.”

I waited.

She waited.

I sighed. “OK. A pact. Regarding?”

“Stray hairs. If you see any on me, you’ll tell me, just like the spinach-on-the-teeth thing. And if I see any on you, I’ll tell you. Deal?”

Well who can pass up that kind of deal?

Pearl Throckmorton, reporting for Hair Fairy duty, SIR!


Jayne Martin said...

"Oh, crap. One more thing to worry about," she said, running her fingertips lightly across her chin.

secret agent woman said...

Hair on her chin? Is your friend morphing into a man? But definitely, it would be a kindness to alert her should that occur.

powdergirl said...

I'm starting to think I'd welcome a hair on my chin, a whole bunch of them, and maybe on my back too.

It F'en cold outside!

ellen abbott said...

Do me a favor will ya? She's been hanging around at my house way too much. come chase her off.

Lori E said...

Oh yes, hair fairies. I've heard of them.
They take the hair off of mens heads and implant them into our chins. The circle of life sort of thing.

Brian Miller said...

lol. what a deal!

hope you have amazing holidays!

kimber p said...

Merry Christmas Pearl!!
..and if you see that Hair Fairy, you can tell her to kiss my ass.....she's way too generous with her sprinklings.. >:(

Joanna Jenkins said...

Oh hell yes!!!! My BFF and I have had that pact for about 20 years-- Which tells you how much older than you I am :-)

And sadly, it's an important pact to make ;-)

Love you Pearl and all your wonderful writing. Thanks for a year of laughs! I'm looking forward to many more.

Merry Christmas!

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

That's a great pact. I can think of a few others that would be useful...but it's Christmas so let's not go there. All the best, Pearl!

Under the Influence said...

I'm forever finding a stray hair on my chin. I wish someone would tell ME!

Kevin Musgrove said...

It must be those bastards as take the hairs out of my forehead and stick them onto the back of my shoulders.

Have a cool Yule, Pearl!

mapstew said...

Yeah, I got the same one as Kevin!
Fecker not only takes em from my head to put on my shoulders, but also puts em in my ears, back, nose! And I wish my eyebrows would calm down and take a holiday!


CatLadyLarew said...

I have one hair on my chin that gets plucked about once a month. Now, if only I could grow eyebrows. *sighs*

Fragrant Liar said...

That's it. I'm inventing a better mousetrap, one for my chin, for which those hairy fairies will be caught unawares. They're not going to get away with it!

Ms Sparrow said...

Do not jest, dear lady. It happens to the best of us as we age (unless you're Native American or Asian...or basically any other non-caucasian
race.) Deal with it, Pearl!

@eloh said...

My "sparse hair" everywhere, except on the head... is my genetic proof that down that distant genetic line must be Native Americans... cause I have to use a calculator to do my cipherin'.

mrwriteon said...

The old chinny-chin-chin. That's where it gets ya.

Not you, though.

Merry Christmas to you.

lisleman said...

I really enjoy having white whiskers on my chin but it would look odd on a woman. Hair fairies dust bunnies - does everything need a life of it's own?

justsomethoughts... said...

well, it is important.
my fairy came a little earlier. and was more welcome.
but i can see your point.

ms. throckmorton, a happy holiday to you and yours.

Warty Mammal said...

Sigh. I wish my issues were confined to single hairs. I've been getting whiskers. I gross myself out.

On that note, happy Christmas to you and your family!

The Retired One said...

I think the hair fairy has been braiding mine at night. Damn those french chin braids.....

Princess Sparkle Pants said...

My best friend in the whole wide world and I made a pact several years ago. If either of us ends up in a coma, the other one will pluck any stray whiskers when nobody else is around. It's a smart kind of pact to make...