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Sunday, December 13, 2009

And I'll Be Taking It All Down in a Month

A number of years ago, my mother decided – in that whimsical, haphazard way that mothers have – that I not only collected Snow Babies but that I also collected Santas of assorted styles and demeanors.

Some of them are encased in snowglobes, some are clutching candles, one of them in particular actually looks a bit as if he is panhandling.

Hey. It's been a tough year.

You know, once you’re guaranteed a Snow Baby every year, your future – and your reputation! – is pretty much determined.

I am now a Decorator for the Holiday.

Such a process! Starting the day after Thanksgiving, the everyday stuff comes off the walls, the breakables come out of the vitrine, everything that has a seasonal replacement makes its newspaper-wrapped way down to the basement.

I’d like to say that I then clean thoroughly. But I don’t.

And then the holiday frippery goes up – fake boughs upon fake boughs of greenery, glass ornaments on hooks, velvet ribbons, pretty holiday cards I’ve framed for the walls, boxes of Snow Babies and ceramic, glass, metal, wood, and rubber Santas.

Well, no; I don’t really have any rubber Santas.

But wouldn’t that be kind of cool?

Or maybe one made out of gold-spray-painted elbow macaroni? That would be cool, too.

Ha! Maybe Mom will read this and I’ll get one this year.

Anyway, after a full day of decorating in November, it all comes down again the first week of February.

In my earlier years, of course, it was possible for me to leave my Christmas tree up until April.

Thank heavens I entered a rehabilitation program for the seasonally challenged.

I remember the first meeting: Hi, my name is Pearl; and my Christmas tree has been in the corner of my living room for almost five months.

Hi, Pearl!

Luckily, my husband acts as my sponsor. Willie, my task-driven overlord, starts itching to take it all down within minutes of unwrapping the gifts. Both a curse and a boon, Willie’s drive to take care of things ensures that the snowblower is ready for the first snow, the lawnmower gets put away before it snows, and the Snow Babies come down before Easter.

But I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I? We're less than half way through December. We still have the shortest day of the year ahead of us, still have the cookie-baking, ham-slicing, gift-wrapping garbage-making back-slapping, hugging, kissing, laughing month of December ahead of us.

And honestly, I really don’t mind decorating for that.


Douglas said...

And are you decorating the blog this year?

Irish Gumbo said...

Would you come decorate my apartment? Please? I have beer, and am willing to share!

Under the Influence said...

My mom has been giving me Santas for years. I can't believe she doesn't realize I have enough of them now. So many, some of them don't even get put out every year!

Secretia said...

January 2nd I can't stand to see any more of it.

Jimmy Bastard said...

"seasonally challenged" Now if ever two words existed that could describe me down to my boots... it was these.

The mad woman behind the blog said...

Ditto Jimmy.

I'd ask you to come do my house too but you've already gotten the offer of beer and I can't offer you great weather....though we don't have snow.

My mission is now to find a rubber Santa.

Jayne Martin said...

You have beaten my personal best of tree up till Jan 15th. I feel like a total tree-weenie now and I bow to your decorating awesomeness. Mostly I bow to the fact that you manage to come up with some witty and clever post every single freakin' day.

Not The Rockefellers said...

Pearl, I've got like a bazillion old Readers Digests and a can of gold Krylon...team that up with your favorite adult beverage and that's just plain F-U-N...

frippery..you are 7 kinds of badass for using that word

Peace ~ Rene

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I have a snowbaby. Is that a collection? Gee, now I'm embarrassed about it. I'm going to go work on that gold macaroni Santa idea.

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

See, we learned something new about you today! I love decorating too, and I am never as ready to take it down as my husband is. By my own planning, I'm supposed to be doing some decorating right now, but here I am in bloggerville again! Soon, though.

KaLynn said...

I have not one iota of Christmas up yet. At some point I will have to get the tree outta the garage and put it up. It already has lights and ornaments on it. Then as soon as the presents are opened. It comes down the next day. This year I'm just not in the Christmas mood.

I so admire you for all your spirit! It is awesome! Merry Christmas!!

Fragrant Liar said...

I'm about up to here with all the holiday frippery. In fact, I can't even bring myself to decorate the banister, which is my sole job -- though this year, I did put sparkly bulbs into a glass vase. January 1? It's all comin' down!

Christine Gram said...

We do almost zero decorating. I had to beg to get us a tree this year. M didn't want it since we'll be somewhere else on the actual day of Christmas, but COM'ON! Christmas is more than just one day right?!?! AND we have kids in the house. Our years to celebrate with them, as kids certainly, are numbered.

So we have a tree today. She's a beauty.

Jon said...

my weird family too... my mom has over 500 different nutcrackers... and most of them don't get packed up when it's out of season... she plays jingle bells in july


Kavi said...

Have a fantastic time ahead !!! With the cookies and the decoration too ! have a wonderful holiday season !

kimber p said...

I am making a vow to use the word "frippery" in my blog sometime this week...that is an effin-awesome word!

mapstew said...

I have delayed the onslaught of Christmas decorations by offering to paint the complete downstairs of the house! I finish today, and the offending articles must be taken out of the attic! Oh well! (FOUR trees! FOUR!!)


mapstew said...

Has your font gotten bigger, or is my eyesight actually improving? :¬)

Gaston Studio said...

LOL, we take down at the end of the first week in January so I guess am not seasonally challanged, but it sounds like fun!

The Retired One said...

Believe it or not, I have a snowman collection, so the day after New Years, I haul ass and take down all the Xmas stuff and bring up the snowman stuff which stays on display from Jan. thru to Valentine's day.
Sick, I know. But it gets me through the winter.