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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

She Was Away From Her Desk for A Couple of Tunes...

I’ve been working in an office setting for almost 30 years.

I’ll give you a moment to absorb that, time to perhaps make arrangements to send me flowers or gift cards toward adult beverages.

Thirty years of hourly wages, of benefit packages, of losing and finding umbrellas, of “work” heels tucked under my desk, of plants and lunch rooms and spreadsheets.

And bathrooms.

Now, I’m not here to demand lotions, hair sprays, feminine hygiene products or any of the things that a civilized business would offer its female employees. It would be nice, yes, but that’s not what I’m on about today.

No. I want a radio.

There’s no point in us going into exactly what recent and particular development has me wishing there was an audio distraction. There’re five stalls in that room – there’s no need for us to discuss the acoustic properties of tile.

Let us suffice it to say that bathrooms are necessary places, and that the odds are good that at some point you are going to hear things that you’d rather not.

Hence, the radio.

I’m going to a thrift store this weekend to see if I can find one, second-hand.

I think we’ll all be better off.

38 comments:

Jodie Kash said...

Having also worked in a corporate snuggy of cubes for many years, I have so much to say, so much to share. But it's too early in the morning and my tummy won't take it.

Oh god, please shake the sound of liquidy trumpet bursts from my head.

Pearl said...

Jodie, I am so sorry about this! I actually feel a bit guilty about today's post...
I also realize that I was not clear in this post, that this is not ME with the issues but a woman in the office who shall go nameless. I should've taken more time with the post...

De Campo said...

But with the radio playing how can I revel in the acoustic properties of public bathroom tile?

I enjoy randomly shouting out to my stall mates “GOOOOOOD PUSH!!”

Pearl said...

de Campo, clearly I have not considered the ramifications of the second-hand radio/sound scrambler...

Tamsin said...

It never fails to delight me how Macaroni Grill play Italian lessons in their bathrooms.

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

music and a continuous flow of air freshner....that would solve a lot of problems!!

CatLadyLarew said...

Good plan! Good plan!

@eloh said...

Thirty years of sitting on your can would give anyone the squirts.

I got it that it wasn't you Pearl. I've heard things go down in the multi-johns where it was all I could do to contain myself from calling out ""Are you all right in there?"" (Selfishly) I always hated being the last one around when someone crossed over...so many questions...so few answers.

Pearl said...

Tamsin, really? I think I would enjoy that, too -- especially the part about coming back to the table with a sentence in Italian!

Roshni, I agree! There must be more civilized ways to live...

CatLady, I hope the others think so, too!

@eloh, :-) human beings are mysterious things!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

You know what I would like? A toilet paper dispenser that actually, you know, dispenses.

Douglas said...

You have an Ipod, Pearl, use it. Just a thought. Why do they call it a restroom, anyway? Nobody sounds like they are resting...

Pearl said...

mjenks, agreed. The one-square-at-a-time dispenser is an abomination.

Douglas, I hadn't thought of that...

Deborah said...

When I was working in an office setting (ahem!) the thing I didn't want to hear was a particular person's huffing and sighing. Nameless? By any other name not sweet - oh hail no.

Tears are squirting out of my eyes I'm laughing so hard. You are awesome!

Courtney said...

I put a radio in the bathroom in my college dorm, and it was awesome! Until someone stole it. I also lost a brand new winter coat (taken from CHAPEL ... the Lord giveth ...) and my ice cube trays when I left them in the day room. Evidently I received my secondary education with a bunch of kleptos.

Ann's Rants said...

I love the idea of you walking around the office with a little hand held radio--you know during meetings you'd probably have to SIGH turn it off, but really--what a nice companion.

Why limit it to the restroom?

Brian Miller said...

oh you got my vote there...and turn up the volume please. lol.

Slyde said...

thats a GREAT idea...

or maybe just invest in headphones :)

Candy's daily Dandy said...

makes complete and total sense to me.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

A radio, such a small thing...
God we woman are easy to please.
Why does no one understand this!!

KaLynn said...

Super wonderful Idea! We have a fan in the ceiling but no plug for the radio. I would love a radio!

Kevin Musgrove said...

Thirty years and you only just notice...

Where did you think the teeth marks on the door came from?

Not The Rockefellers said...

I'm with Tamsin with the language lessons....

Or how about the Ricola Guy?

Riiiiiiiiicoooolaaaaaa.......

Peace ~ Rene

mapstew said...

Not a radio! You need a karaoke machine! With a mic in each stall!

:¬o

xxx

justsomethoughts... said...

a good idea indeed.
maybe they could have an adult beverage dispenser as well.
right next to the feminine hygiene dispenser.

Jodie Kash said...

Do not apologize! We all poo ;)

lisleman said...

I see a comment above mentioned using your Ipod. But then you mentioned some other nameless office person with the "issues". So does the other person have an issue hearing the sounds or making the sounds.
Really just some sounds are not that bad - smell not that's a different story that so for Apple hasn't made a device to fix the problem.
Do you think a gas mask Ipod combo would be a big seller??

Warty Mammal said...

To paraphrase a friend's comment about her own toilet activities, "It's my music, for my ears only."

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Amen.

and

Amen.

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Amen.

and

Amen.

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Amen.

and

Amen.

Kavi said...

Oooh ! It could make its own set of noises, that could distract the chief activity in the bathroom !

Well...is it just me thats having such a bias.

About thrift store ?

My name is PJ. said...

30 years of noises from the necessary echoing within tiled walls and no complaint???!!!

You could have knocked me over with a feather. And not for the reason you think,either. When I see your icon photo, you don't look like you've celebrated your thirtieth birthday yet! Based on that alone, you have no right to complain about plop, plop, fizz, fizz. (I'm nothing if not mature.)

Gaston Studio said...

I'm so glad I'm no longer in the general work force; some people's demands are just so ridiculous!

Secretia said...

30 years in an office setting, you can write quite a few books I bet.

Secretia

Gropius said...

I've tried Pandora's free online radio stations...and our IT guy shut me down for taking up too much bandwidth. What a pooper.

mo.stoneskin said...

I agree with some of the others- you want to use an mp3 player, not a radio. The last thing you want is the irritating crackling of a radio in a bathroom!

Joanie M said...

See how you're thinking of all the other employees? What a gal!

One of those sent things that release scent with movement might be a good idea too.
Just sayin'...

Sandy said...

Having been a veteran of 25 years in a office setting with said tiled bathroom, I think it's a fabulous idea. Just find a way to secure it to the walls so it's still there later.