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Saturday, October 31, 2009

Where There’s No Smoke But Still Fire

I haven’t had a cigarette in 14 days.

The secret of my success so far?

Complete and utter denial. Cigarette? What cigarette? What in the world are you talking about?

Never heard of the things.

So far, this has worked for me. My ability to compartmentalize my world is one of my greatest assets.

It’s been pretty easy, but then again I’ve only been drunk – or as I prefer to think of it, mostly drunk – twice in the last 14 days.

And tonight is the Area 52 Halloween Party.

How tough could it be?

You know what’s wrong with quitting cigarettes, though? Aside from the dearth of cigarettes, of course?

There’s not enough fanfare.

Where’s the brass band? The public acclaim?!

Where’s the confetti?!

Hey. I don’t want much, maybe a cake, a parade, a banner, Shriners riding in formation in tiny cars, possibly a call from the President.

Oh. And some sort of award ceremony, preferably on TV.

That’s right. I quit smoking, for my own benefit, and rather than sucking it up, keeping my mouth shut and just doing what needs to be done because it needs to be done, I want acclaim.

Look. I know that I should be satisfied with the fact that I’m saving money, that I don’t cough at night anymore, that I no longer smoke myself sick at parties and wake up stinking and swearing I’ll never have another.

I know that. I did it for my own good.


There should be a cake.


The Jules said...

Go Pearl!

Way to minimise your risks of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, peripheral vascular disease and painful, slow death from associated complications!


Irish Gumbo said...

I don't have cake, but how about a resounding

"Attagirl, Pearl! Woot!"

Good on ya, mate!

Ms Sparrow said...

Hang in there, gal! Don't let those parties lower your guard so the smoking demon comes back and gets yah!

IB said...

Rock on, sister!

I quit smoking a long time ago and I know it can be VERY difficult. Non-smokers don't appreciate the power of that addiction. Instead, they think of it as something casual, and say things like, "ewwww, you smoke?!" and, "that's not good for you; you should quit". Like quitting is as easy as changing into different shoes.

I'm pulling for you, pal. Stay strong.

Oh, and if there's gonna be cake...give me a shout. I love cake.

A Mom on Spin said...

yeah. . . a cake. . .complete with candles. . . that you can blow out for once. . .

Jayne Martin said...

You're right. There should be cake. But you may have to buy your own. And it doesn't have to be cake. It could be a great pair shoes. Try putting away the cash you spent on cigarettes everyday in a jar somewhere and at the end of the month, blow it on something fabulous. You deserve the reward.

Menopausal New Mom said...

Congratulations Pearl! Well done. Me? I quit for spite years ago. Worked like a charm!

Pere Callahan said...

I too recently quit smoking and I want a freaking parade!

And keep at it.

Gregory said...

have a cake on me, send me the bill :)

powdergirl said...

If I'd known you were quitting, I'd a baked a cake!

You go Pearl! And those folks who tell you about how its be 173 years since they quit and they STILL have the urge?

Thats a lie, they just want some more back patting, and who could blame them?

But seriously, telling you that you'll still be wanting something you can't have 173 years from now is just cruel, its like the women who tell horrible child birth stories to pregnant women. Put you thumbs in your ears and hum when you see them coming. coupla months and you won't even need to be in denial, because you'll be so over it.

Have fun at the party, you'll ace it!

So whats your costume?

Charlotte Ann said...

I felt the same way the first time I quit! My downfall was thinking I could take a puff..even if it was off someone else's ciggie! Yucky, I know..but when you're addicted..well..you know..
This time no fanfare..occasionally someone that has known me for years and hasn't seen me in a while will comment in amazement..YOU quit?
You see..I was, shall we say "a heavy smoker". Now I'm just heavy.
I'm learning to deal with that now!

Charlotte Ann said...

Powder Girl is right. For a while I would still have the urge that quickly passed..now I go for days without any urge at all...I'm 8months out..and proud............surprised...relieved and..where the hell is MY CAKE!

abrown said...

I sent you an email, but I thought I'd try this route before giving up.

I'm interested in printing an excerpt from one of your posts in the Pioneer Press. If you are interested, please contact me as soon as possible.

I can be reached at abrown@pioneerpress.com


ellen abbott said...

Yay for you! I wish Husband would quit. I don't even have to have my head on his chest to hear the laboring lungs at night.

So, your costume for Halloween...let me guess. You're going as a cigarette?

One year when my son was in middle school, he wanted to be a barrel of toxic waste. Said it was the scariest thing he could think of. I made his costume and did a fine job of it too.

CatLadyLarew said...

I'd send you a cake, but I can't fit it in the envelope. Congrats of a fortnight of free breathing! I've been there & done that, so I know it ain't easy! I made the unfortunate error in judgment of substituting candy rewards for the cigarettes... and now have the physique to demonstrate my success!

Secretia said...

Hey that is good, Pearl. Don't light up ever again! I did bake a cake, then I ate half of it myself, sorry!

You are a fun blogger to read!


Douglas said...

You didn't get that cake? Wow! I know they charged my credit card. The SmokingCessationCakeSuppliers.com website promised you would have it last week.

And the parade in your honor was scheduled for Thanksgiving in New York. It should be on the TV, watch for it.

(39 years,3 months, and 24 days... no cake or parade)

Knucklehead said...

Good for you, Pearl. You won't be sorry.

mapstew said...

Well done you!

I shall sing a song for you tonight!


Pat said...

***brass band playing Oh When The Saints Go Marching In***

**Singers singing Way to go, Pearl!!**

KaLynn said...

Congrats!! I quit for the second time about 5 years ago. Tough process! I'm proud of you! Cheers!! WOOHOO!!! BRAVO!!!!

Beth said...

I'll bake the cake if you can get someone else to organize the parade.

Way to go! I really am impressed.

BLissed-Out Grandma said...

Consider any of these your celebration cake: http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

SweetPeaSurry said...

ugh ... I need to quit smoking myself ... I'm not looking forward to it!

SweetPeaSurry said...

Now ... I know I have some confetti around here somewhere ...

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Congratulations, Pearl. I'm one of your biggest fans and I'll be rooting for your continued success. I wish you cake.


lisleman said...

great - keep the strength up
think of other things - i don't know, say snow, there's plenty coming your way right?
Call from the President - hmm last I heard he still didn't give it up but he's kinda busy and stressed - wait there's no excuses right? You should write him about it.
Ok you wouldn't want a cake that I baked (actually I prefer pie) because I'm challenged to boil water.
But in honor of you making it 14 days I'm going to do a quick post about your efforts and maybe some other bloggers will join. Ok now give me a few minutes and then check. Again congrats.

lisleman said...

the post is up asking reader to stop by your post
I think you'll get some encouragement.
Oh BTW - you said cigarettes so I'll assume cigars and pipes weren't part of the picture - right?

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

Hey! I'll send you cake any time you want! I'm so proud of you!!!

@eloh said...

Good for you Pearl.

Rub some frosting on a hunk of bread...and call it Breadcake.

Kevin Musgrove said...

Good stuff, well done!

If giving up smoking is anything like giving up drinking the hardest part is people saying: "I know you've given up but..."

Give them the "you've sat on my last packet of cigarettes!!!!!" look. That'll learn 'em.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Cheering you on from Los Angeles. Keep up the good, smoke-free work.

Unknown Mami said...

You can do it! Stay strong.

Ocean Girl said...

Hi. Congratulations. Keep strong. Think chocolate.

Guillermo de la Varner said...

Congrats! I am trying to do the same and I would be successful if it weren't for driving. Damn that stupid car!

Tamsin said...

Heavens, make it to the one year mark and I'll jump out of a cake for you!

What, doesn't everyone want a 30-something Mormon Mom jumping out of their cake?

Jeanne said...

Woo-hoo! Whup-whup-whup-whup!

If you like (and you're that brave) I'll bake you a cake and mail it!

Fantastic Forrest said...

lisleman told me about your magnificent endeavor. Yay, you! Here is your cake, Pearl.

While you may not be able to eat it, take consolation in the thought that you won't have to go through radiation, chemo and an ugly lung cancer death like my Dad the smoker did. I miss him so much, and I wish he'd done what you are doing. YAY FOR QUITTING!!

kirsty815 said...

Maybe that's why I'm having trouble loosing weight? No fanfare! 'cause the cake wouldn't help. lol

Hubby and I both quit smoking over 10 years ago and now neither of us can stand the smell on people anymore. Not that we don't like to inhale the occassional smoke puff that crosses our path. *grin*