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Sunday, October 25, 2009

Sure. You Buy One, And Then Fifteen Years Later Ya Gotta Buy Another One

Hey, you don’t have to hit me over the head with it.


It’s been going on for a couple weeks now: my back, arms, and legs are stiff when I awake, and the other night I dreamt I was going over Niagara in a wooden barrel.

All of this has led me to an expensive conclusion.

My mattress has expired.

It’s odd; but one minute something is perfectly comfortable, and the next minutes it’s a large, lumpy noun without your best interest at heart.

And then, it must be replaced.

I’ve been resisting mattress shopping, though. I’ve only done it once before, roughly 15 years ago, and didn’t care for it. All mattresses prior to that came free with helping someone move, free with a relationship, that sort of thing. I don’t like buying things like mattresses. It’s an expensive, bulky, and likely-to-happen-again-in,-roughly,-15-years kind of shopping.

Not a fun kind of shopping.

But I have to, don’t I? I have to do that kind of shopping. The days of cast-offs and he-left-his-mattress mattresses are over.

Sometimes, you just have to buy a new mattress.

Look at me. All mature over here.

Still, without prompting I’m willing to bet I won’t be going any time soon. The only time I think about it is just moments before I’m ready to go to bed, and by then, of course, it’s too late to go shopping.

You won’t catch me at an all-night mattress sale.

So I’m going to need some prompting. I’ve left a note for myself, and I put it where I tend to spend a lot of my time: on the refrigerator.

“Your mattress has expired,” it says.

Let’s see if that’s a big enough hit in the head.


Linda said...

We just went through this in July and it wasn't pretty. But, on the flip side (and did you know that you don't flip mattresses anymore?) it is very comfortable, and my back is feeling much better. Go for it!

{check my post for handy tips of what not to do- http://mewells.blogspot.com/2009/07/too-short-too-tall-just-right.html}

Suzyhayze said...

Get a tempupedic (sp?)

Amazing. Mattress is an ugly word, isn't it?

Menopausal New Mom said...

I hate mattress shopping, especially when they tell you to "go ahead, lay down on it and see how it feels". Good luck to you, I think I would just go buy one of those feather mattress covers instead and call it a day.


SparkleFarkle said...

Death of a Mattress, wasn't that playing on Broadway for a while? Maybe it was Off-Broadway... Nevertheless, sweet dreams!

f8hasit said...

I too, hate mattress shopping. But I think I need to do the same soon.

But I like when I change the sheets on my bed, it's like a roadmap of my past. It used to be all pretty and shiny and white. Now it has the residual orange stain where Amelia spilled kool-aid on the bed, the stain from when I had my wisdom teeth out, the stain from the new boy puppy...you know, the ones you clean and clean and bleach and bleach and there is still some die that messes up that pretty white?

It'll be a shame when you have to throw away the map of the past.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I'll cry when my mattress goes. The pillow top loveliness is so wonderful.

darsden said...

I am a Sealy mattress girl myself :-) I do know what you mean though about the "big" item shopping..sucks...

YOU can always buy one of the mattress toppers and buy a few more years before you go shopping. I got a wonderful one at Overstock dot com and really happy with it. I love it and look forward each night going to bed in my super comfy bed,

Anonymous said...

Get a mattress you really are comfortable with it, it's not price, it's what it's made out of.

Little Ms Blogger said...

We went mattress shopping this past January and it was worth every penny spent.

Not only can we sleep on a comfy mattress, but we got a bigger one and it is heavenly....personal sleeping space.....the best.

Once you get the new mattress you'll wonder why you waited so long.

powdergirl said...

My God! You wait 15 years ???!!!

You must not have a giant living in your house. The husband is 6' 4", 300 lbs, he wrecks everything with sheer bulk. If we don't buy a new one every 4 years, I just disappear into the abyss when he rolls out of bed and then I can't get back out. Do you know how often I have to buy furniture?

My advice to my nieces and God-daughters is always the same.

"marry small"

If you're stiff and sore from sleeping, you need to get thee down to the mattress store post haste! A girl needs her rest!

lisleman said...

Living in that soon-to-be frozen north maybe you should wait until the whole place is ice coated. You could take a video of the delivery guys sliding around the ice with your big mattress.
Best of luck.
BTW - I've added your blog to my blogroll

Pearl said...

Linda, ah. Flipping the mattress has gone the way of the skipping record!

Suzy, I agree. The more you look at the word “mattress” the weirder it gets!

Menopausal New Mom, or “Eminem”, as I shall think of you, I agree! “Lay down and see how it feels”. Ha!

Sparkle, dagnabit, Sparkle. That shoulda been the name of the post!

F8hasit, good point, but I don’t think I’ll miss some of those stains!

Blogging Mama Andrea, this was a pillow-top, and I miss how it once was!

Dar, I envy your comfy bed!!

Secretia, I would like one made of young men. :-D Wonder what that will cost?!

Powdergirl, I don’t really wait 15 years. I was doing a lousy job of exaggerating. :-D This mattress is five years old. Willie is six two, probably 220. The “valley” isn’t too bad – but I have no idea why it’s so uncomfortable all of a sudden. It’s not that old!

Lisleman, maybe there are mattress races I should be considering! :-D And thank you for the blog roll mention – that’s very nice of you. I also needed that kind of information today. You know how some days it’s easier to write than others? I am having a hard time lately – but that can only mean that the easy posts are just around the corner, right??!

Anonymous said...

I hate mattress shopping because you HAVE to lie down on them to test them out...and so have a million other people....which makes me feel uncomfortable.

Like no matter how clean a public restroom LOOKS, you know in your head it isn't - because you didn't clean it yourself.

I can't help but think...How many gross people laid on this before I got here?
Can you tell I have a fever?

CatLadyLarew said...

Treat yourself to a new mattress! You deserve it! There's nothing better than being all cozy in bed with a comfortable mattress.

C. Andres Alderete said...

I guess I haven't really considered how personal and committing a mattress is. If mine could speak, I'd probably kill it so that it wouldn't.

Madame DeFarge said...

Oh the joys of bouncing around on a bed in front of strangers, especially when they start leering at my husband and ask if we want one with more roll together.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

We bought a Select Comfort Sleep Number bed over 7 years ago and we love it so much. I should sell them I love them so much. Please look into getting one. They'll finance it and we had ours in like 3 days after ordering it. It was by far the best money we've ever spent. We went from a queen size bed to a king so I had to get new sheets and a bed frame but if you stay with your same size bed, it won't be too expensive. See if they have any on sale.


Vodka Mom said...

People actually get NEW mattresses?

justsomethoughts... said...

i dont see why you can't find a marginal relationship to trade in for another one.
i mean BUY one ?
as in pay money ?

Douglas said...

Listen to the Green-eyed Momster. Air mattresses are the way to go. I no longer have one but that's because I went the adjustable bed route. Now if they could just combine the two...

tattytiara said...

I am thirty eight years old and I have never owned a new mattress.

Under the Influence said...

I am so with you on this. We need a new mattress, but every time I think about the expense of a TempurPedic, which is what I want, I think we could go on a nice vacation instead. And hotels have comfy beds, so that should work out great!

BLissed-Out Grandma said...

The sleep-number bed is great for people who are very different sizes, or prefer different amounts of support, or fidget a lot, since it's essentially two beds in one frame. And playing with the controls sort of distracts you from the fact that you're trying out mattresses in a store window. BTW I'm a new follower and I'm listing you on my blog, too.

Oh My Goddess said...

I would love a new bed.

With Brad Pitt circa Achilles in it.

Angelina ruined him.

KaLynn said...

The last time I bought a mattress was..hmmm. I don't EVER remember buying a mattress. I think all of mine are hand me downs..Seriously. So I must not like it either. But since you mentioned that everything hurts, maybe that is why I feel OLD. Maybe I'm not OLD, I just need a new MATTRESS! Thanks for helping me feel younger already! =0)

ellen abbott said...

Get a temperpedic. It is well worth the money. On second thought, don't get a temperpedic unless you're ready to sleep your friggin' life away. We started out getting a good solid 8 hours, then it was 9 hours and now, every now and then, we will sleep for 10 friggin' hours. Of course, we work in house, self employed and don't use an alarm clock. But really, that mattress is heaven.

The Retired One said...

Man..they are EXPENSIVE. I hope you have a spare kidney to sell or something.
Better to buy those thick foam mattress toppers for about $200. We bought one ( a $100 version) and it helped SO much...now I think I am going to upgrade to the $200 thicker one and put the $100 one on the guest bed...who wants them to stay longer than 3 nights, anyway?

Smart Mouth Broad said...

You too? We really need a new mattress. I swear that overnight I was suddenly sleeping on a brick. So here's my plan. You do the research, the shopping, the negotiating and then give me the intel. Deal? You're sweet like that, right?

Lynn said...

I know.
Boring. But necessary.
Sort of like buying toilet paper.

♥ Braja said...

Foam. Simple.

Daffy said...

Hi - you have an award over at my blog today. batcrapcrazy.blogspot.com

Gaston Studio said...

I hate shopping of any kind, and would definitely put mattress shopping at the top of that list.

Matty said...

I am way, way, wayyyyy overdue for another mattress. My back hurts a lot, and I just can't get up the gumption to go get one. I think I'm worried that once it's here, and I've tried it out that I won't like it.

Let me know what kind you get and how you like it.

R. Jacob said...

I think I will be a mattress salesman. "Yes madam, I would like you to lie down here in this bed. Comfy?" Like being a bartender! haha