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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Name is Familiar, But The Face Seems Wrong

I miss the good ol’ days, the ones where old boyfriends disappeared – not in the gravel pit, wrapped in a sleeping bag and held down with chains like the police suspect – but in the recesses of my mind, where I was free to remember them as I liked. There they were, in my head, young and beautiful and at the whim of memory…

And now we have Facebook, which has brought the ability to “see” your old friends again to your computer screen.

Remember that gorgeous guy that sat in front of you in History? Stole your answers as you passed your papers forward? He’s on Facebook now and fervently and abrasively believes that The End is Near.

He has a list of the people that are going to hell.

He alludes to the fact that your name might be on it.

Me, I’d rather have remembered him as the cute guy passing History at my expense.

It’s a whole new world, isn’t it, on Facebook? There are names that ring a bell – and faces that don’t. People with names like “Sue Johnson” and “Mark Peterson” “friend” you, and you struggle to remember how many Sue Johnsons and Mark Petersons you’ve known in your life.

There are carelessly phrased sentences that start fights with people unaccustomed to the leeway one must afford casually written communications. There are people posting pictures of you that prompt questions like “When are you due?” There are people TYPING ALL IN CAPS unaware that they are shouting…

And have you “un-friended” yet? I have. May I make a recommendation? Just “hide” them. Pretend they’re not there. Save yourself the drama of the “unfriending”.

Don’t get me wrong. A lot of FB is just good fun – sharing pictures, chatting online, marveling over how far we’ve come. But when the guy I went to prom with wants to meet and talk about how the President is not even a U.S. citizen…

Frankly, I liked him better when he was trying to feel me up.

Wait. Does Facebook have an app for that?

29 comments:

powdergirl said...

I barely remember signing up for facebook, haven't done a thing with it, but I do get the odd enquiry, haven't seen the option for the cute guy feeling me up yet, when I do...

Gaston Studio said...

Do have a facebook page, primarily to promote my blog, but other than that, rarely post on it. My bad?

MamaOtwins+1 said...

Oh the hiding of people is my favorite - then like you I pretend they aren't whoever they are now.

It's nice to catch up for a minute - but then I remember why we parted ways.

Pearl said...

powdergirl, let me know if you come across that app. :-)

Gaston Studio, I must admit I use my page that way as well!

MamaOtwins+1, I may have to do that myself. I prefer my memories to reality!

Daffy said...

Yet another golden reason I refuse to FB... I treasure my memories and growl when real life tries to evade those. I like my version of things better

Pearl said...

Daffy, I shoulda talked to you before I signed up! :-)

ellen abbott said...

I do FB but it's all current people. I didn't like any of those people when I was in school so why the hell would I want to look them up now? And if I don't know the person who is asking to be friended? Fageddaboutit. I have been un-friended by a woman who used to be my friend about 10 years ago. Apparently she didn't like it when I reminded her that she basically spit in my face and told me to NEVER contact her again. I laughed. she hadn't changed a bit.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

An ap for feeling up? Genius. I would install it immediately!
Thanks for a good laugh!

Meredith said...

God, I hate Facebook. I'm now entirely in hiding, myself, not using it at all. At first I thought it was kind of cool to reconnect with a couple of friends... now, though, so horrible. And overwhelming.

A friend of mine has left her account under her real name "open" so as not to offend anyone and opened a secret account under a fake name for those she really wants to commune with. I may be trying that method -- if I ever feel the urge to go back.

Great post!

Felinae said...

Umm...Yeah, sign me up for that feeling me up app too. :D

I primarily use facebook to play the games. I rarely ever post and when I do it is something cute and fun.

Have a great day!

Matty said...

I started FB a few months ago only because members of my family were into it. It was a fad that faded fast for me. I did reconnect with a few people from the old days, but now I can't remember the last time I used it.

Menopausal New Mom said...

Yes facebook has definitely taken over. Members are so proud to show how they have 400, 500 plus friends when everyone knows that it's actually a count of people you know, not how many friends you have.

I don't have a facebook account myself but I do keep one for my 3 1/2 year old. Our family is spread all over the country and with facebook, my family can tune in and see what she's up to, latest pics etc. Nothing more.

BTW, Great post, especially the feel you up part. It's been so long since anyone has tried that on me, I had forgotten about it. Probably filed away somewhere with spin the bottle!

Lauren said...

I remember when facebook started and it was just for college kids. I really liked it then. It was neat, it let you see who was in your classes if you added them, make study groups, find friends in your town. Now....now I have to worry that my ten year old niece is going to read something weird/odd/inappropriate someone (or myself) has posted on my wall. And then I'll be "that" aunt.
It was also much better without all those stupid apps. That said, I think I have some watermelons that need harvesting....
And yes. I have unfriended. The offending (or unfriending) party has no idea that you've done so, so it doesn't really make me feel too bad. They'll only realize it if they try to look you up. I've also ignored several requests from the same person. I DON'T LIKE YOU. We weren't friends in real life, we're not friends in the virtual one either. Go away.

Kelly said...

Facebook is "nice" to keep in touch with some people but there's too many people who take it WAY too serious. And if I didn't respond to someone's 3rd friend request, odds are good I don't want to be their friend.

Sweet Cheeks said...

Ahhh...Facebook. The bane of my existance.

It has good points and bad points...so when I tire of it I'll just delete it off my computer. Simple. Life doesn't have to be complicated....unless zombies take over the world. Things might get a bit hairy then. =]

Barbara Blundell said...

barbarablundell@talktalk.netHi Pearl,
I like to browse 'Friends Re-united ' and look up past pupils.Just imagine that cute petite 11 year old now looks like an all in wrestler and has been married three times and has seven children. The ones who were slippery about homework haven't changed and are now reluctant to fill in the profile bit.and that nasty, dreadful bane of my life (in fact the lives of all who came into contact with her )is now full of shame and remorse about her horrendous teenage behaviour and works caring for handicapped people

CJ said...

I'm so glad you de-lurked! You crack me up! Facebook....don't get me going. Thankfully the networking aspect is better than the negative aspects of it. I wish I could just banish all my exes out of life and permanently encase them on Facebook. That'll teach 'em!

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

I signed up for a twitter account a few months ago. In a few days, I got sooooooo bored, I stopped visitng my account,
I wonder if I'll do the same with FB too?!

Sarah said...

I'm not that big on Facebook. I was for a little while, but then it just started to get old and boring and repetitive and annoying.
I will admit that there's something cool about catching up and "reconnecting" with people you never thought you'd see again. But it's sad to realize that they're often not the same people you'd stored in your memory.
Thanks for stopping by my blog! I'm glad I found yours! :)

Chaka said...

I agree with your feelings. Facebook has lost much of its appeal to me. I only check it once or twice a week and I love having easy access to everyone, but I hate all the applications and people inviting you to throw imaginary water baloons and have pillow fights, and having zombie wars, etc. You are right. Some people are better off as a memory than a rekindled friendhip.

Suzyhayze said...

OOOOHHHHH. Friend me Pearl. Friend me. Suzanne Palmieri.

The Retired One said...

I hear you! I had someone yesterday ask to be my friend. I have racked my brain over and over as to WHO she is. I cannot find a connection...not even a fellow blogger...so how does she know ME????

Douglas said...

I don't think there's place for me on FB. Being that I am anti-social and all. People ask me to be their friend and I answer "Why? You were never my friend before."

Or I ask if they have a small animal torture section I can visit.

IB said...

I gave FaceBook a shot...for like 11 days. It was kinda fun for a while but eventually I had to disengage. What drove me to the breaking point?

Survivor's guilt.

I feel bad because, of all of the people I went to school with, I'm the only one who hasn't aged horribly.

Oh My Goddess said...

I'm intrigued by an old flame who friended me.
But I won't contact him!
Even though I am checking his profile, my inbox, and any common groups we've both joined, like every ten minutes.
I'm doomed.

mbuna53 said...

There seems to be a lot of interest in that "feel me up" app. Think I might take advantage of that and start offering that surface, electronic version or real life version, your choice.

Secretia said...

Facebook is programmed to remind you if you don't use it much!

Mrsblogalot said...

Facebook scares the crap out of me!! Can't help it. I'm a wuss.

There's an award for you on my blog (rule and disease free) (-:

justsomethoughts... said...

i'm not sure. i dont facebook, but you mght be on to something.