After years of ridiculous questions involving the tricky whereabouts of such nebulous things as socks, shirts, butter, and bath towels – Where could they be?! What?! Socks in the dresser drawer? Towels in the bathroom?! What a crazy world we live in! – I came up with a rule.
If you are looking for something you can’t find and ask me to find it for you and if I, in turn, then find it, I get to hit you with it.
Sure. I’ll find your winter boots if you feel you can’t. But if I find them, I get to hit you with them.
Would it surprise you how often those same winter boots are found by the person who, moments ago, wanted me to find them?
This system has worked swimmingly for years.
Appears that the umbrella I scoured the house for two days ago and never found, the umbrella I asked for help in finding, has been discovered, and discovered easily, by my husband.
And now, I will be beaten.
I don’t know. Maybe we can work something out. Maybe he’ll release me from the if-I-find-it-I-get-to-beat-you-with-it clause in our relationship.
Honestly, though, I wouldn’t.
So I don’t want to get all dramatic here, just a quick “so long”, a brief “fare thee well”. I’m not sure how well I’ll handle a beating with a compact umbrella, but it’s been a good run. I’ve got family, friends. I’ve got my health.
And now, it appears, I have an umbrella again.
Be Still and Know Me
7 hours ago