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Monday, October 19, 2009

I Heard It Came In on the Backs of Rats

I overheard a woman talking to another woman on the elevator the other day. Someone in her son’s elementary school class had been diagnosed with H1N1, the sixth in a class of 28.

Number one: I’ve personally known only one person diagnosed with H1N1.

And number two? You know, there might be something wrong with me, here, but I was thinking…

When I was little, the neighborhood mothers held play dates in which a child already afflicted with mumps, measles, or chicken pox played with the rest of the kids, specifically creating an area rife with the possibilities of contagion.

Kind of a controlled burn on sickness.

The mothers would drink coffee and smoke cigarettes, the kids would run free in typical kid fashion, hopefully get sick, and with that sickness build immunity for future outbreaks.

So what’s to say we couldn’t do that with the Swine Flu?

Is that wrong?

You could get it, get it out of the way, take your sick days and get on with it - no more worries about that particular strain or any mild variations thereof.

I’m thinking a cocktail party with a pig theme. For some reason, I’m thinking gin and tonic on tap. Shredded pork tacos. Pink Floyd on the stereo.

And I’ll need someone with the H1N1, of course.

Not everyone could come. Under 25? Over 65? In a family way? We’ll post the pictures on FaceBook.

“Yeah, I remember the H1N1 outbreak of ’09. Feverish, feverish days. I was there. I saw it all go down, man.”

Is this foolish? I think it might be; and yet, as a bus rider and member of a thriving metropolis, the idea of trying to gain some sort of control over the possibility of contracting the H1N1 is attractive. There are already people on the bus wearing surgical masks. Why wait around?

The CDC, oddly enough, does not recommend the “Swine Flu Party” nor the Insert-Your-Childhood-Illness-Here Party. They state that while natural immunity is generally better than vaccine-induced immunity, the high price of natural immunity is occasionally severe and can be fatal and that it is not a risk worth taking.

26 comments:

CatLadyLarew said...

Any excuse for a party! I'm "too old" to get the H1N1 shots... how bad does that make me feel? So, I'll just have to go with my germ-tolerance that has been built up over the years by spending endless hours in confined quarters with siblings, small snot-nosed children and cigarette smoking, coffee swilling parents. God, the 50's were great!

ellen abbott said...

I blame it all on the epidemic of anti-bacterial everything. People live in germ free environments. No wonder they get sick. Give me a germy environment and a strong immune system.

Secretia said...

A cocktail party with a pig theme, let's served bacon-wrapped snacks too! Good idea.

Secretia

Lesley said...

I'll come to that party, count me in!

powdergirl said...

I'm gonna try to contract H1N1 just so I can be the star of the party!

Yeah, I'm not getting the whole panic thing either, you get it, you get over it, you move on down the list of infectious diseases.

What up?

Unless you're old, real young, or preggers, I guess.

I doubt big pharmacy is making any money on this whole epidemic that no one can see....

IB said...

The CDC are a bunch of mamby-pambies. Have your party. The swine-flu doesn't live up to the hype.

Pearl said...

I'm so digging the people wearing the surgical masks. Unless of course they have a terrible lung condition that would make contracting H1N1 dangerous. Then I'm so NOT digging that and think "good for them, taking control of their health!" Ack. I think we all just love a good scare.

Next! Could what's in your fridge kill you and your loved ones?! Stay tuned for our surprising answer!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

When you clean things in hospitals, you use a tincture of alcohol and water.

When at a party, you typically drink things that are a mixture of alcohol and water.

If it's good enough to kill viruses on hard surfaces, it's good enough to kill viruses in my body.

Allez party!

MamaOtwins+1 said...

I love that you had to add a disclaimer at the bottom. I now know 3 people that have had the pig flu as I am taking to calling it.
But as we haven't gotten it yet, I'm waiting on an invite from you to the Pig Party! I've heard it will be the tail of the year and have everyone oinking at it's success!

Douglas said...

If those parties only worked for hangovers...

I am hoping that everyone in the US will get immunized. That way, I won't have to be.

Sweet Cheeks said...

Pearl Honey...not trying to be a kill joy...but our corner of the world over here is having a tough time with the swine flu. A 13 year old girl has died from it as did a man in his 40's from my own community. This isn't a 'normal' flu. Our clinic is seeing a 600% increase in illness.

Sorry Darling...you know I love ya.
xxx

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

For the most part I agree with you. When my 22 year old son was little, we used to go over to kids' houses who'd been exposed to chicken pox; I just wanted him to get it and be done (it took till he was 7).
But the respiratory element of this virus is a little tricky. Some really healthy people are getting terrible pneumonias and that's what is proving fatal to many.

Eric said...

Wait, so at your party is the H1N1 shot a drink of some kind?

darsden said...

I can see your point Pearl!
I am the only one at my doctors office that has requested the H1N1 shot. I can't do the nose thing...but I about fell out when she said they didn't order any because nobody requested one...Uhmmm ME!!

kimber p said...

we've had some confirmed cases here in our town too, it's scary to say the least but if we can't laugh about it, then we'll all cry and go nuts....wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands. and please don't sneeze into open air...not only is it dangerous and rude to begin with, it's also just gross...

Not The Rockefellers said...

I love you Pearl because you shoot the double barreled blazing bird at "the bastard"... :)

and my mother, and her Staten Island ilk, threw chicken pox parties and mumps parties...any occasion to drink cheap beer and eat pound cake worked for them :)

Wonder Years

peace~Rene

Knucklehead said...

H1N1? Isn't that R2D2's cousin?

Jeez, I crack myself up.

Like the party idea, though. Count me in. I'll bring the bacon and sausage.

Pop and Ice said...

My kids spread the chicken-pox contagian the summer of 1993. It was totally inadvertent, being summertime and all, but the neighbors were not happy with me. As if I had anything to do with it!

So, no, don't have an H1N1 party. Somebody will end up pissed off at you.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I think my sons school had the party. His teacher sent out an email today saying only 8 of the 20 kids in class showed up this morning so she was canceling the homework for the night. Unfortunately my kid was one of the ones with the on again and off again fever for the past two days.

I remember those chicken pox parties. I'm pretty sure thats how I got it when I was a kid!

Kavi said...

The H1N1 was doing serious rounds over here !

And boy did it make its presence felt. Even the cops wore masks !

Barbara Blundell said...

Hi Pearl,
We've escaped so far although R had flu symptoms at the weekend but he didn't hoink or grunt so he must have missed it . The party sounds a good idea But pink gin might be better. Do you have 'pork scratchings.'If so you could serve them as an entree

Christine Gram said...

Sounds like you may have already had your party in the elevator!

Nota Bene said...

lol. I'm all for that. Count me in. Evidently chicken pox parties are on the wane because it means that mummy (sometimes Daddy) has to take the day off work because the nursery won't let a sick child come in.

Gaston Studio said...

I'll send my daughter and her daughter who both are down with H1N1 right away. What's your address?

Irisheyes said...

I hope this H1N1 party is scheduled on a different night than our upcoming "Helmet Party". I have become comfortably numb. I guess I'll bring reuben dip made with ham instead of corned beef!!

justsomethoughts... said...

i'd rather not.
but that's just me.