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Sunday, October 18, 2009

And I’ll Bet He Doesn’t Know How Many Licks It Takes To Get to The Center of a Tootsie Pop, Either

The Boy’s had to go into my computer.

“Here’s the biggest part of your problem,” he says, a slight note of disgust in his voice, “you’re running on Internet Explorer, which is garbage. From now on, you’re using Firefox.”

He shook his head in a mock show of sorrow. “You really should try to keep up, Mom.”

“How do you know this stuff?” I asked.

“How do you not?”

I didn’t appreciate the tone of voice, but I understand. He’s deleted unwanted files from my computer more than once. He may not work in computers, but he’s very good with them. I’m continually impressed with his abilities.

And me and my abilities? If all goes as it’s been going, I am next in line to become the woman with a machine somewhere in the house that is flashing “12:00”.

I used to be smart. Oh, how I wish you could’ve seen me back in the day. Now I’m afraid you’ll have to take my word for it. I think I’ve got a certificate somewhere, Proof of Clever-ness or something, but I’ve misplaced it.

I found a pair of socks in the freezer once. Maybe it’s in the freezer.

I don’t like being behind the times. I’m rubbing two sticks together over here, and there are people directly behind me holding out Bics.

Sheesh. Even my analogies are behind the times.

I can’t feel too badly about it, though. We can’t all keep up with every little thing, can we, particularly if we’re not all that interested in it. Just this morning The Boy, for instance, retrieved a wool sweater he bought just weeks ago from the dryer, stunned that it is now half the size it was upon purchase.

Sheesh. How could he not know that you never put wool in the dryer?

Hmm. He knows computers. I know “practical”. Perhaps we can work something out to our mutual benefit.


Kavi said...

No no ! The analogies are pretty much with the times ! Indeed !

And the boys leaving us all behind is now becoming common place.

Just yesterday, a year old taught me so many things in an ipod. Which i didnt know at all. I was left stupefied !

Jodie Kash said...

...or that it's not nice to fool with Mother Nature.

When I started working from home a decade ago, I would constantly crash and burn when it came to the technical stuff and updates and wireless and hamsters on wheels and whatever the hell made the tools "go."

But like osmosis or garlic smell, it just sort of absorbs into you over time.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I know what you mean. If it weren't for my daughters, I would be living and thinking like June Cleaver. But like you, I have something to offer as well. For instance, they had no idea you could bake a potato in the oven and make it so much better than a microwave could even dream.

Take the kid's word for it and stick with Firefox.

IB said...

So, I need 2 sticks? Well that changes everything.

CatLadyLarew said...

That's why we had kids... to show us how to use our computers.

SparkleFarkle said...

Uh.. seriously.. how many licks DOES it take to get to Toostie roll part?

Suzyhayze said...

I love this!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh! Write a story called Cleverness lost! OH PLEASE! I need to read it.

Ms Sparrow said...

So tell us! Is Firefox working better than Internet Explorer?
We need to know!

Jess said...

LMAO! I love it! Also, you can tell The Boy that Google Chrome is the fastest browser out there!

No, really, he can read all about it here: http://news.cnet.com/8301-1001_3-10030888-92.html

And he is correct, Internet Explorer is horrible!

Jayne Martin said...

First of all, Firefox makes IE look like a burrow pulling a cart. Yeah, the burro will pull the cart, but it's slow and you're always downwind of all its crap. Second, I think kids are just born smarter now. Better nutrition in the womb. My mother smoked and drank when she was pregnant (yes, just like on "Mad Men") so I blame that on the early decline of my brain cells. Had I known the tech world was going to take over as it has, I might have had kids. In the long run, they would have been cheaper.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

You know everyone goes on and on about Firefox. And I tried it on both Mac (hated it) and on my regular laptop. All it's done so far is crash my computer.

Personally, I don't blame Firefox. It's windows Vista. Could there be a worse operating system??

I feel very behind the times. My son (who's 7 by the way) knows how to do powerpoint presentations. When I was 7 I am pretty we used good onld number two pencils to do our homework.

Douglas said...

Yes on Firefox. Been using it for years. Love it. Hate IE. Nothing wrong with Vista for me. It works. Don't understand the anger and angst it seems to cause. Don't understand the cult-like adoration of Ipods and Apple in general either.

Oh, two licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop. For me. After two licks, I get impatient and crunch it with the few molars I have left.

Ginny said...

I still think you are the Queen of Clever!

Travis Erwin said...

I once turned my wife's favorite sweater into doll cloths by putting it in the dryer.

Beth said...

I have the same problem with my boys. One day, they'll have off-spring that will know more than they do. And I will laugh (a maniacal laugh, at that).

Me thinks you is still clever.

Not The Rockefellers said...

Here's what an idiot I am..

I was wondering how the hell pens would help you light a fire...


je suis stoopid...

Peace - Rene

Kevin Musgrove said...

The young are no bloody use when next door's cat has its head stuck in the horn of your gramphone.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

They make us feel like dinosaurs, but how about the knowledge of LIFE!!
Great post.

Michelle said...


Get with it lady!!!!


Miss you unreal!!!

tattytiara said...

In some dark recess of my mind there's a little voice still shouting that the home computer will never catch on.

And in my cupboard there's a beautiful angora sweater that now fits my cat.

Kate said...

I'm okay with being behind the times. It means that I've lived in an era that means something to me.

mapstew said...

I got a new phone today. My 11 year old is going to explain to me, in a language that 'olds' understand, how it works!
Aren't kids great!

(I put the milk in the washing machine last week!)

Oh dear!


*mary* said...

You're not behind! You're just ahead of the curve in the coming retro movement. Way to go, trendsetter!


Christine Gram said...

How old are you?
All this time I thought I was reading a very witty blog written by a hip 20 something. Don't tell me that you're actually wise (aka old). This changes everything.

The Jules said...

Bloody whippersnappers.

Can you ask him to set up my Betamax video?

Gaston Studio said...

I've been lost every since I switched from Mac to PCs! Why the hell did I ever do that?!!

Joyful said...

That made me so happy! I figured out the Firefox vs. Explorer thing all by myself without my kids. But I'm still amazed at how my daughter who can't seem to figure out how to make up her bed or fold her clothes can work miracles on the computer.

Berowne said...

>>How could he not know that you never put wool in the dryer? <<

Reminds me of an au pair from some eastern European country we had with us some years ago. I stopped her, just in time, and explained that we do not clean the toaster by putting it in the dishwasher.

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

I have on occasion thrown things in the dryer which might have come out looking a little smaller. But I'm pretty sure that's the way they looked when I threw them in. I think.

R. Jacob said...

so your son bought a wool sweater from a dryer?