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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The View on 48

A dear person, a friend, and a confidante is leaving the office we’re in to work in another office, one state over.

Of all the things to do, she’s getting married and then following her husband to Chicago.

This may be what’s in her best interest, but I’m against it.

Chicago: The City of Big Shoulders. And now the home to my dear Sandra, a woman who genuinely cares about people, who asks questions, and then – in the words of Gomer Pyle: surprise, surprise – listens when you answer.

It’s hard when someone you really like leaves work, isn’t it? Like family, you have no real choices as to who you’re associated with at work; but unlike family, you spend the majority of your waking time with them. Who you work with, who you see during prime time, as it were, can and will change how you see life; and so it is a rare and beautiful thing when the person who sits directly across from you turns out to be a gem, someone you would want to know anyway.

Thus making their leaving that much more difficult. It’s not just the seeing them every day or the work they do, it’s the fact that you look forward to seeing them.

I’m not as demonstrative as I’d like to be. I’m not as affectionate, or kind, or forgiving as I wish I was. Being around Sandra has shown me how to be those things. She has, to use a word in our particular line of business, “modeled” that behavior.

Minneapolis’ loss is Chicago’s gain.

But that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.


mbuna53 said...

Pearl, Sorry you are losing one of your work pals. One potential positive is now you have a good reason to go to Chicago. Chi-town really is a cool place to visit. Museums, jazz and blues bars, millenium park, Navy Pier, and some REALLY tall building.

Barbara Blundell said...

Hi Pearl,
Sandra sounds a lovely caring person and one who has enriched your life .Perhaps when you think of her it will bring joy and happiness. You can always look forward to meeting up and taking up where you left off !

Pearl said...

RD, you are right, of course.

Barbara, she really is. It's a hard time to work "corporate" in the U.S. right now, and there is both the feeling of comradeship and of frantically tossing buckets of water overboard... I guess I'm just feeling a little melancholy about it! And you're right -- it has been a joy to know her, and it will be something to look forward to, seeing her again.

ellen abbott said...

I have a friend like that and I am a better person (I hope) for her influence.

CatLadyLarew said...

Having a friend move is like losing a family member. I met most of my friends through work. Hope you get to visit her in Chicago sometime.

Ms Sparrow said...

What a nice tribute to a friend. I'm sure she feels the same way about you.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

I like you so much.

the end.

powdergirl said...

I hate hate hate to lose a coworker/friend.

I used to work with a guy about whom I've always said, "if you could pick your brother's, I'd pick this guy"

He brought so much to the table, made me laugh so hard, made me think about stuff I'd normally disregard..

Name it, and he knew something about it.

I miss that guy. Sigh.
Hey, I'll call him : )

Pat said...

Pearl, I am so sorry that you are losing the physical presence of your dear friend, confidante and coworker. But, as others have said, you can always visit and of course e-mail each other. She sounds like a diamond of a friend.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Aw, work is always so much better when you truly enjoy who's there.

Douglas said...

Yeah, as mbuna53 said, wait till the honeymoon cools down (say, 3 days) and then go for a visit. Chicago is a great town. Be sure to visit Rush St (Ave?).

On the other hand... the left, I suppose... I was curious about this statement:

she’s getting married and then following her husband to Chicago.

Following him? Isn't he taking her with him? Does she have collect all the accumulated stuff and slough it off to Chicago a few days after he drives a new Mercedes there or what?

Pearl said...

Hey, Douglas -- he actually moved there almost a year ago, I think it was. He's set up -- and now her little apartment is packed and ready to go as well.

And hey, everyone. Thank you so much for the kind words. I was a little surprised to find that I felt so strongly about her leaving me. :-) That's right: she left me.


kimber p said...

I have a friend at work like that, she's a very cool, very funny person and she calls me her 'work bff'..we keep each other encouraged and bring each other up when things get hairy at work..I don't know what we'd do w/o each other actually :)

mapstew said...

It's sad when a friend moves away. Maybe she'll tire of him after a few weeks and get her old job back.


I wish them all the best.

And you too.

Not The Rockefellers said...

Good work friends really make the job worth coming to, they become like a second family...a part of your life. So when they leave there is a grieving process involved. I always hating coming into work the day after and seeing that empty space..so I'd call in sick :)

Hopefully you'll keep in touch, perhaps you can talk her into blogging :)

Peace - Rene

otin said...

Very nice! I feel that way when a blogger stops posting. I know that it is not as personal, but it still bothers me

Reddirt Woman said...

I think it's bad enough to work for corporate America but to lose someone that has your back... not fun.

On the other hand I have to thank you Pearl for quoting Gomer... I haven't heard that for quite a while and it made me smile.

Good tribute to a friend.


Gigi said...

Ohhh, that sux. I'm sorry. It's hard enough to find people that you relate to at work, much less a good friend.

@eloh said...

Good byes are always the pits.

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

I know it's hard...but things change.

hopefully, y'all can stay connected. She sounds like an awesome lady!

Keep your chin up, girlfriend. You rock!!!

Kavi said...

People who listen are indeed a rarity these days. Sorry to hear that you are losing somebody like that !!

I hope you dont start talking to yourself a whole lot more now !


Gadjo Dilo said...

Somebody who genuinely cares about people and who listens when you talk to them?? Lovely. You should pay this woman to live in your house, and just pretend to your other work colleague that she's "gone to Chicago".

Anonymous said...

Amazing how good neighbours and colleagues become friends - the loss of whom we mourn when they move away.

H.K. said...

It is great to go to work and really like the person you work with, it makes going to work a lot easier.

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

I hear ya. My best friend of about six years did the same thing and I was heartbroken. Fortunately, with Facebook and all the other new technology you can stay in better touch than you used to be. But yeah, it's not the same, is it? Sadly my friend passed away a couple of years later and the world is a sadder place for it.

Friday said...

Please come visit me... :)