Years and years ago – when the Earth was young and the primordial soup of the day was a broth and not the rich creams that are more and more prevalent – my lousy cell phone held a charge that lasted more than two days.
My son, the wise and beneficent, reminds me that a replacement battery can be purchased. And while I realize that this is true, it also makes me wonder why my first cell phone – which resembled in no way the tin-can-and-string rig that I’m sure The Boy envisions – held a charge for a full week for the first seven of the eight years I had it.
To further raise my practical hackles – and I believe there may be an amusing way to combine those two words, somewhere – the opportunity to “re-up”, as it were, on my mobile contract, rears its binding head every two years. I can buy a new battery on what is now considered an older cell phone, or, I can renew my contract and get a brand new one that will last, oh, two years.
Oddly enough, it just so happens that my cell phone is almost two years old.
The term, I believe, is “planned obsolescence”, the idea that items, such as cell phones, have been designed to work well only as long as the manufacturer wants them to work well, after which you will find it necessary to purchase a new one, either outright or by renewing a contract.
Ladies and gentlemen, is it time that we follow this example and incorporate this into our daily lives?
For instance: me. I’m a helluva worker. Go ahead. Ask me! I’ll tell you: Yep, I’m a helluva worker. And this work ethic, handed down from generations of people who do their best, particularly when being paid for it? It extends well past any probationary period.
But what if it didn’t? What if, after the hiring, after the probation, once I’m completely and utterly a part of the company, I suddenly stopped being as responsive unless promised something in exchange, another day off or a free lunch every Friday? How would they like them apples?
The short answer is that they wouldn’t. They wouldn’t like them apples. But me?
Who doesn’t like apples?