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Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Abusive Nature of Our Relationship

I owe you all a big, albeit tongue-in-cheek, apology. It’s come to my attention, by a quick and yet thorough banishment of my link by Facebook, that my blog is abusive.

You heard me, ya maggots.

This was a surprise to me, frankly. I thought those days were over.

I remember the first time I was referred to as “abusive” as clear as day. There I was, 99ing my little brother, a steady, firm pounding of the chest – 99 separate smacks, if I recall correctly – until his chest was so tender a fly landing anywhere near it resulted in cat-like screaming.

He’ll thank me for that some day. Toughened him up.

Then there was the preschool landscaping service. A real money-maker, that was. I still think there was nothing wrong with that. It’s not like the ungrateful tots didn’t get weekends off.

And now this. Caught in my web of cruelty and exploitation, my true nature exposed and the ability to link “Pearl, Why You Little” to my Facebook page taken away, I’m exposed for the Scrooge-like blogger I’ve always been.

It was a good run. But they can't stop me from posting here.

Can they?


p.s. You look very nice today.

37 comments:

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Ah man. I think you could take Facebook in a knock out drag down fight.

Give it to em Pearl!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

OMG - Am I actually first? WOW.

The Jules said...

I wouldn't worry about being blocked by a site that considers pictures of breastfeeding offensive.

ellen abbott said...

Ah, Pearl, what is this world coming to?

IB said...

I find this very discouraging. Not your blog, but the idea that someone is making judgment calls about what is on our Facebook pages. It's a wee bit Orwellian for my tastes. Damn you Facebook!

Suzanne said...

Unthinkable!

Wear it as a badge of honor. Make a bloggy award for it. Do something fantastic with this.

I FB on a regular basis. But ONLY to see how much better I'm aging than old, puffy, boyfriends. Take that Facebook!

Jess said...

WOW...I didn't know Facebook had gotten so pansy! WTF?! Hold a sec...I need to go make some brash comments to see what they say...

powdergirl said...

Do you get to know what they base their call on?

Buncha Nazi's!

Pearl said...

Blogging Mama, it'll be a virtual smackdown!

The Jules, Ahhh. Good point.

ellen, apparently the accusation is all it takes and boom! you're convicted...

IB, I agree. I was not even notified. Just blocked. I'm just so glad that someone is watching over me, ya know? :-D

Suzanne, another good point! The first time I got on FB, I was absolutely shocked by some of the photos of old classmates, boyfriends, girlfriends. I would not have recognized them had we passed on the street...

Jess, be careful out there!

powdergirl, no. No e-mail, no notice, just had the ability to link to my blog taken away. I could post up to and including "Flies Gone Wild", but after that? I keep wondering, what was it that was reported as abusive? I mean, trite, maybe. Boring, maybe. But abusive?! Those sonsofbitches!!!!

f8hasit said...

Bah.

Facebook is run by a egomaniac kid who has "I'm the CEO bitch" on his business card.

We love your abusive nature. Keep it up.
:-)

Oh, and I love the idea of your making an award. "Your blog is abusive!" Can I stand in line?

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Facebook's on my shit list now! If I had to make a choice between you and Facebook, I'd choose you, Pearl!

Hugs!!

Kavi said...

Abusive ! Hmm ! How do they do this ? I wonder..

Maybe its just randome..'inky pinky ponky..' selection !

Or perhaps 'our computers have selected you' types !

Am still shaking my head

Reddirt Woman said...

I, too, would like to know the basis. What line do you have to cross to be banished from the kingdom of FB?

Good God... some people don't know how to take a joke!

Helen

kimber p said...

Pearl, I *knew* it was just a matter of time, judging by the evil twinkle in your eye....I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner!!! bahahahahahahaha!! Pearl. Banned for being abusive...what a joke!!!

Facebook is a punk!!!

Douglas said...

It's a vast right or left wing conspiracy. Not sure which... whichever side you aren't on.

I don't like Facebook anyway, they won't let me post my snail porn pics.

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

What? Abusive?

Abusive is when you don't say what you think...

Keep on, girl. Keep on.

Tamsin said...

Sometimes Facebook is just weird. my maiden name (Robøle - try saying that!) is Norwegian, and when I first signed up for Facebook they told me I couldn't have an obscenity in my name. I'd really, really like to know which language they are referring to.

I'd email them and ask why.

SparkleFarkle said...

***pulls up driving a hand basket*** Can I offer you a ride? I'm headed to Hell. Maybe we'll earn points for good behavior if we carpool.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Yeah, they deleted one of my links, too. It was to a Latin post I wrote and was very proud of.

Turns out, the post was too ablative.

Under the Influence said...

Idiots. Next you (or I) will be banned from even logging onto Facebook!

SweetPeaSurry said...

*runs screaming in the other direction* ABUSE ABUSE!!!

blessings luv!

mrwriteon said...

And you look adorable, baby. Abusive? You? Pshaw. Now, if you want to see abusive you should have met my 2nd wife. She wrote the book.

darsden said...

I can't believe somebody did that to you either Pearl. Maggot for sure. I didn't know they could block you like that either. WoW

Charlotte Ann said...

Abusive? Nah..you have no idea what abusive is. See my blog...abusive treatment of my sister while in the hospital. Now the hospital is trying to get me to remove the blog!!!
www.ftell001.blogspot.com

♥ Braja said...

I'm with Andrea...take the bastards on....:)))

The Retired One said...

I can't tell you the number of blogs that I read that are wayyyyyy more "abusive" and are linked to FB...you are not abusive. I do NOT get it. It makes me want to get off FB altogether. It is just ridiculous.
I hope you appeal this and challenge this. You are the right person to do it!!

mapstew said...

Facebook can eff off!

:¬)

xxx

Pearl said...

What fabulous comments!

I have sent an e-mail to FB -- it certainly wasn't easy to find an e-mail for them! Let's see if they answer.

In the meantime, I'm going to create an award, I think. "Facebook Finds Me Abusive!" or something like that. Feel free to chime in!

justsomethoughts... said...

so then, does my coming back here daily make me masochistic ?
oh well. i've been called worse. and i shall leave it your imagination.

i would call them (facebook) pricks, but this here is a family column. not to be sullied by bad language.

those who mind dont matter. and those who matter dont mind.

Daniel Knight said...

I can SO relate, Pearl. We can only be who we are. Unless, you know, we become someone else.

kanishk said...

Facebook's on my shit list now! If I had to make a choice between you and Facebook, I'd choose you, Pearl!

How to make a website

@eloh said...

yeah baby. beat me, make me feel cheap.

Passion said...

Ah passive aggressive huh?

Ya'know! I had a teacher that looked JUST like you...smiling and friendly...until the parents left..ever thought about teaching for a living? Think of the tender young minds you could corrupt.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Yes, I'd make that badge and even a t-shirt and bumper sticker. We need more abusives like you, Pearl.

Michelle H. said...

I knew Facebook was evil. Give 'em Hell...

Thanks for stopping by my place and leaving a comment!

CatLadyLarew said...

WHAT? Blocked by Facebook? Why you abusive wench, you! They allow the incredibly abusive comments kids make, yet they banish your blog for being "abusive"? Kind of a double standard, if you ask me. I wonder how long it will take them to block me... that is if I keep it networked there.

bettyl said...

Well, I'm sure you should be ashamed of yourself! But, like Blogging Mama, I would put money on you being able to take Facebook down.