I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Turns Out, I’m Looking Forward to Winter

Now is the time of our summer’s totally content – and yes, the livin’ is easy.

And yet…

You know, I haven’t even considered a scarf, a pair of mittens or boots for several months now; but like a good Minnesotan, I know not only where they are but am feeling more and more that the need for them approacheth.

The funny thing? Every summer I forget how cold the previous winter was; and every winter I forget how terribly hot the summer before it had been.

At this moment, for example, I’m trying to recall the sensation of having sat in this very spot, just six months ago, and wearing, on a regular basis, enough clothing so as to render a game of strip poker with me one you are guaranteed to lose – or win, depending on your point of view.

So there you go – today’s free advice: Consider your strategy when playing strip poker in an intemperate zone.

Living somewhere with a temperature variance of 130 degrees, I have to believe that it will affect not only your strategy but your sense of humor.

For example, I’ve been thinking for some time on the humor of the Minnesota Strip Tease. Mid-January, perhaps in an ice house on a frozen lake. The hat, the scarf, the gloves as they are pulled off, one tantalizing woolen finger at a time, the jaunty kicking-off of the boots, the thought-provoking removal of the long johns.

Yes. I’m pretty sure that temperature affects humor.

But this isn’t February (or the four freezing months before it). This is August, and that frozen lake is looking pretty good right now.

Isn’t that funny?


Douglas said...

Back before my mother convinced my father to move to Florida, I lived in New York on Long Island. There were four whole seasons there. Unlike here where we just have spring and Hades. But I do recall beginning to dream of winter sometime in mid-summer and summer sometime in mid-winter. The first snow is wonderful, the third is dreaded.

Under the Influence said...

I'm never ready for winter. I would like to have spring, summer, fall, one-two days of a big snow storm where everything shuts down and then move right back into spring.

Sue said...

I'm so happy to have the change of seasons. I couldn't imagine living in the tropics or such. I look forward to each change....
Right now I'm thinking of soups, stews, and hot bread out of the oven. I'm getting tired of summer. Time to move on!

Kavi said...

"Consider your strategy when playing strip poker in an intemperate zone."

that sounds like an advice that military strategists can do well with. Hmm !

nsiyer said...

We have this joke in Mumbai - what is winter? Temperatures of the kind you are talking, Pearl, don't exist here. I, for one, love Delhi only during winterswhen the temperatures dips to 4 degrees centigrade.
Happy winter and its onset.

ellen abbott said...

I'm usually happy to see August depart but I never am happy aboutr February. And the funny thing is, my winter is probably a cool summer day for you.

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

That's nature's way . . . we're never happy. When we're hot we wish we were cold, and vice versa.

Mother Nature is a bitch.

powdergirl said...

Thanks for the laugh, Pearl.

That bit about a guaranteed loss when playing strip poker against you?

I really did laugh out loud., at that and, really, at every line.

You're a gem!

Huh, we're down to 11 degrees C, around here. I see an Indian summer in my future though.

KMcJoseph said...

I can't wait to move back to Miami...someday.

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Girlfriend - that's a lot of variance in temperature.

Joanie M said...

I am seriously considering moving south, to NC, SC, Ga or maybe even FL. I have just about had it with the cold and snow.

Joanna Jenkins said...

I love dressing for winter and cold weather, but I hate living in it. Winter is why I put up with earthquakes in California :-)

Ann's Rants said...

Don't make me go back down into that rec room.

For pete's sakes woman, HAVE MERCY.

Reddirt Woman said...

I totally agree that Minnesotans are affected by the temperature variances. You have to be freakin' nuts to live where you walk outside and your nostril hairs freeze in your nose and feel like needles are pricking you in your nostrils all the way into your sinuses...a description given to me by someone that lived in the land of frozen breath for years.

Especially since you have to deal with 90+ temps in the summer anyway. At least here in Oklahoma, while people think we are crazy to live here when it is so hot that there is no such word as "glow" for sweat... at least we only freeze our butts off maybe for a month or two and rarely do we get down into the teens or single digits Fahrenheit.

So, yes, you have to have a sense of humor... or still frozen brain cells.


Nazish Rahman said...

Lolz...curiosity for the upcoming season makes us forget how the previous season was :)

Jocelyn said...

This is the month where I appreciate how long it takes Lake Superior to warm up and cool down...it's still holding the cold from winter...and come winter, it will still retain heat from right now.

It's my perfect mate.

Barbara Blundell said...

This year we've had the full run of seasons- in a week. No fear of boredom ! Makes Strip poker interesting

SweetPeaSurry said...

Same thing with me, in the THROES of (mind outta the gutter girl) the summer heat ... I look forward to fall. (Not winter so much) And in the BITTER cold of winter I long for the heat of an humid hot August day.