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Sunday, August 9, 2009

Shhhh! Did You Hear That?!

Like great schools of fish, TV-show themes sweep, turn, and dive together and are eventually burnt onto the un-greased cookie sheet of public opinion, thus opening the screen to the next phenomenon.

Heading for the pre-heated oven these days?

The supernatural!

We’re up to our remotes in psychic detectives/children, paranormal investigators, and people with full-spectrum cameras and EMF detectors spending the wee hours of the morning filming themselves in pitch-black houses and castles while asking things like “Why are you still here? Are you angry?”

Don’t get me wrong. In the same way that someone 100 years ago would never understand how we could have whole orchestras locked up on CDs or how we could possibly speak to someone in California from Minnesota (how could we ever shout that loudly?), there are always new things to discover about our world. Hey – I’m kind of digging the idea that someone could detect something simply by handling the personal item of someone else; and I’ve seen some pretty interesting Psychic Detective shows where people have done just that.

But presented right alongside that is the man charging auditoriums of people a couple hundred a head and saying things like “I’m sensing someone whose name starts with “M” or possibly “N”. Does someone here have someone who’s passed on whose name started with an “M” or an “N”?”

Talk about your low-hanging fruit.

Hey! I know someone who died whose name started with an “M”! He must be talking to me!

I’m not saying that there aren’t ghosts. How would I know? But having spent 57 minutes waiting for the 3-minute “reveal”, which turns out to be the recorded hiss and pop that someone insists sounds like “get out of my house”, I’m going back to TV I can rely on:

Cops.

14 comments:

Eternally Distracted said...

I am totally with you however the shows are fairly hysterical for the comedy value ;0)

ladyfi said...

TV companies must be desperate these days... I don't really watch the box - this is probably why! To avoid shows like these... ;-)

The Retired One said...

Oh Pearl! I LOVE that show.
I really do.
What can I say? I must be a hanging fruit!

darsden said...

LOL, Pearl I love Ghost Hunters... I can't believe you don't man.. I use to watch cops..but it is the same each week, run after them, yell, and then you don't know what happens to them.. duh...they let them all go to do it again!

The Jules said...

We've got one where the screaming, flouncing, crying emotional wreck of a bimbo presenter gets scared so much you can just TELL she did a little poo even though it was just the sound recordist sniffing in the dark, before hanging off every word an ex-footballing ponce with an earing who has decided he is now psychic says, and then she says she's a sceptic.

I'd rather watch static.

powdergirl said...

I've believed in ghosts ever since I saw(and smelled) the flatulent cat ghost that comes and goes in this old house.
Drives me nuts, I have a very sensitive nose!

But I don't like the shows, too much drama about really not much of a big deal.

Love the way you wrote this too, you're a funny, funny broad.

Lets go drinking!

Douglas said...

You do know Cops is staged, don't you? Oh yeah, completely fake... Like professional wrestling only without the Speedos... usually.

Now Ghost Hunters and psychics...

(disclaimer: the above was staged)

Pearl said...

Ah, but I have been known to watch Ghost Hunters! My son abuses me for it on a regular basis.

Unfortunately -- like Cops -- it seems to be the same thing over and over: a whole lot of whispering of "shh! did you hear that?" and then a couple minutes at the end of recordings of things that could be taken a number of different ways...

Jeanne said...

People desiring to talk to the dead have been fair game for con-men for eons.

Salut! chou chou said...

Those are the shows my grandmother watches...it reminds her of all her paranormal "experiences" and just opens a whole can of worms...

I'm happy you thought the sconestone piece on my blog was cool. Thanks for coming by! I'll definitely be around again =)

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I end up watching a good number of those ghost hunter shows with Chris because he is terrified of ghosts and therefore MUST torture himself with "true" stories about them. I have a hard time recognizing the feedback noises as words too. But I must say that that Michael Keaton movie (was it EMF) scared the shit out of me. I had to turn it off half way through and worried that I might never sleep again (at least not with any TVs or radios in the house.

I am very old school when it comes to TV. I could watch Friends reruns for hours and my favorite shows are SOOOO mainstream: Lost, Grays Anatomy, Ugly Betty, Heroes (okay - I'm mainstream, but I'm also kind of a dork) - also Lipstick Jungle until they cancelled it. I would watch LJ for the clothes alone. Far better than S&TC (although I like that one too!)

Heidi said...

It's true - once they've found something that works we're bombarded with it, like the whole vampire thing. They're everywhere right now.

Great post!

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Ha! I don't like Ghost Hunters, either.

Now, Ghostbusters....yeah, baby!

"Who ya gonna call?
Ghostbusters!"


h mmmmmm.

a little much, me thinks?

JamaGenie said...

One more reason I rarely turn on the tube these days. No self-respecting ghost would voluntarily be the star attraction for an auditorium full of people. Puhleeese...

But cop shows **staged**? This can't be! Is *nothing* sacred any more???????