I don’t care how many times you turn around, you just can’t catch up with a floater.
I was quite confused initially. Did you see that? What was that? I’m swatting imaginary bugs while friends shake their heads.
Poor Pearl. She was never the same after rolling down that hill. It’s really not something you should do after, say, the age of seven, anyway…
Do you know what a “floater” is?
You don’t? What are you, 16?
OK. I’ll tell you. A “floater” is something you get when you’re old, terribly old. A “floater” is the visible shadow of the optic nerve as the gunk that makes up your eyeball thins with age.
Or something like that, according to my optometrist.
OK. I lied about the “terribly old” bit. Thinning of the eyeball-guts starts happening around 35, as I understand it.
Still, I am relieved to discover that I don’t have a brain tumor, am not being perpetually encircled by a large gnat or being pranked by Ashton Kutcher or any other star-oid.
The human body: You just can’t trust it.