I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Now Where Do You Suppose THIS Came From?

I’m a hider of things.

Not big things. I don’t have a couch hidden anywhere, or, from what I can recall anyway, any livestock…

No. I’m pretty sure I don’t have any livestock.

But hide little things? Yes. I hide little things.

We traveled extensively when I was a child; and when I say we “traveled”, it’s more like we “moved”. Picked up the trailer and moved. And so, to amuse myself – and perhaps to make myself feel better about it – I took to hiding things, knowing that I would find them later.

For instance, I once a hid a note to myself in the hem of a dress. I liked that dress, but like so many children, I was prone to growing; and so grow I did, right out of that dress. Years later, when forced by my mother into physical labor, i.e., doing something about the state of my closet, I was folding up the dress for a run to the Goodwill when I felt something crunchy at the hem.

I felt around and noticed a stitch missing – not enough to bring the hem down, but enough to slip a note in.

“Dear Pearl,”
the note said. “You look very nice today. P.S., Don’t forget that Lori owes you fifty cents.”

Hmmm. Lori was two towns ago.

Go ahead, Lori. Keep the money.

I think a lot of people find, when things get tough, little ways to make themselves feel better. I’ve found notes in books, taped to the backs of pictures. I even recall, now that I think of it, trying to force a note into the head of my Barbie…

We all hide things: our fears; our loneliness; our hopes, fervent and precious, that tomorrow will be better. And sometimes, we find comfort, no matter how small, in the things we do for ourselves.


p.s. You look very nice today.

24 comments:

Jodie Kash said...

I am in lurve with the idea of hiding notes to myself. Note to self: Hide notes to self.

darsden said...

That is one of the funniest things I have ever heard of in a hem of a dress. Very creative Pearl, but we already new that about you didn't we. I make notes,too but I never hide them, I just can't ever find them when I need them till 2 or 3 months later..

Lori-2 towns ago...toooooo funny Happy early Friday Pearl

Douglas said...

I don't hide notes to myself, I post them on my blog. I figure that's pretty well hidden.

Very interesting insight...

Reminded me of my mother, though. When we moved my parents into assisted living, we had to clean up the house they had lived in for 35 or so years. My mother had left cash around in books, in pockets of her smocks and robes, under (and in) old magazines, in tins and cookie jars, and various other little hiding places.

Comedy Goddess said...

Very nice!
Very inspirational too. Thanks!

powdergirl said...

Thats cute, Pearl, about the notes. But
why were you moving so often?

Running from THE LAW?

Well I guess it wasn't for cattle rustling, as you were pretty clear about not squirreling away any livestock.

ellen abbott said...

I hid something from myself just lately. Tore up both houses looking for it later. I did too good of a job as I finally had to admit that it was lost for good. Then when we moved the real bed down to the country house, there is was under the mattress. Now why the hell did I put it under the mattress?

f8hasit said...

I'm amused by your items that you know you DON'T hide.
Couches.
Livestock.

Thanks for the chuckle.
:-)

Kavi said...

50 cents caused you to hem that in ! Wow. And you dont hide couches and livestock.


You are something ! hmm

ladytruth said...

I always hide money in old pants' pockets. Also in my old wallets. No thief would put himself through the trouble of going through my handbag collection for the odd R20right?!

ps you look very nice today as well ;)

Not The Rockefellers said...

I find this so charming...love letters to yourself

I always do a vocal P.S (aloud).... after I have accomplished a feat of strength
And I have done this my whole life

PS...you handled that toilet overflow very well.

PS...the way that you saved $29 on grocercies was astounding.

Peace - Rene

Pat said...

Your last two paragraphs are very touching and so true. I hide memories of my kids when they were little in my heart...sounds maudlin, I know, but it makes me happy remembering 3 little boys snuggled up to me as I read books to them. I was once the Number One woman in their lives. Now I'm Number 2.

Pat said...

But I'm not bitter about being their Number 2 woman. I'm happy that they're happy.

American in Norway said...

OOO I am going to start doing this...

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I call it keeping things in a safe place until I find them again. I lose shit all the time. Maybe I'm just not as clever as you.
I could really use a note telling me that I look pretty today. If you send me that note, I'll send you 50 cents!

Hugs!!

Ann's Rants said...

Charming is the perfect word, Rene.

What a treat, a note from Pearl-of-the-past.

The Jules said...

I would leave notes to myself, but I'd only argue because I always think I know best.

Reddirt Woman said...

I think notes to self are a wonderful idea... A lot better than hiding Christmas presents for people and then forgetting about them until two or three years later when I run across them in a manic housecleaning, re-arranging mode, find whatever it was that was hidden and it is totally inappropriate to give to said recipient or they've gotten the movie or CD on their own...

Like this post. Thanks.

Helen

Lynn said...

You must have been an interesting kid!
Kiki, too.
Yeah, why did you move so much?

Pearl said...

Jodie, you SHOULD! Be your best friend!

Dar, and a happy Friday to you, too, sweetie!

Douglas, very funny. :-D Actually, I hide money around the house, too. Once I hid – I kid you not – a thousand dollars. Had taken me more than two years to collect, ever so slowly. Then I lost it. The last thing about its hiding spot that I could recall was telling a friend over the phone “There! No one will every find it there!”
I tore that house up. I cried. I went to a hypnotist. (I don’t hypnotize.) I finally found it two years later.
And I spent it.

CG, glad to inspire!

Powdergirl, you funny girl you. No, not the law. Actually it’s quite sad. Deaths and unhappiness, really, the year I turned 7. It most definitely changed my life.

Ellen, I hear ya, sister! I’m a money hider myself!

F8hasit, I’m all about the ridiculous!

Kavi, oh, I’m something all right!

Ladytruth, why thank you! And I just love that color on you! :-D

Rene, we may have been separated at birth as I do that, too. :-D “Good job, Pearl! No one moves a chair and vacuums under it like you do!”
Big virtual beer to ya.

Pat, I’m very glad you thought so. When I started writing this little bit, I was surprised by the turn it took. Would you believe it actually made me a little wistful?

American in Norway, I think you should. :-D

Green-Eyed Momster, oh, no. I’m not clever. I’m losing these things, remember!!! And you? Well, hey – you look great today! Those pants fit perfectly, and those shoes are to die for!

Ann, a little love note from the little me to the older me. :-D I would pick me up and squeeze me if I could!

The Jules, I fight me all the time, and I always win. Of course, I’m never quite sure if that was the right thing…

Helen, thank you. This one kind of surprised me…

Lynn, Kiki is quite a character. I wrote a post about him earlier that I really should’ve linked, the time he and T jumped off the cliffs at the St. Croix River – model piece of youth/bravado/stupidity there!
Of course, I did it too…
As for the moving, no fun there: family deaths when I was 7, Dad drinking, Mom crying, move move move. Took a good 7 or 8 years before we were normal again, to be truthful.

mrwriteon said...

Well, I say fair is fair, and you should hit up Lori for the damn money she owes you.

Irish Gumbo said...

I felt the same way when i found a silver dollar in pocket of a jacket that was 5 or 6 sizes too small for me to wear :)

And you look smashing, as always, my dear!

Beth said...

And all I ever find in my pockets are old grocery lists. I think I'm going to write myself a happy note now.

Joanna Jenkins said...

This was really a lovely post Pearl. And by the way, you look very nice today.

I used to hide my engagement ring in the house when I'd travel... Last time it took me SEVEN months to remember where I put it. When you get to be "of a certain age", hiding things can be dangerous.

xo

Little Ms Blogger said...

I don't really hide things, but will leave change or a dollar bill in a winter coat at the end of Spring.

When I go to put the coat on the following winter, I pull out the $$ and it always makes me smile.

Cute story.