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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

In Which a Combination of Bleach and Comet is Just Good Fun

Tuesday afternoon, and I’m up to my kneecaps in the next thing on my list of things to do this week: Clean Out The Pantry.

For those of you just tuning in, I have the week off as a result of a company-wide shutdown. Big Willie is working, so it’s just me, a to-do list of my own making, and the kitties.

You wish you were here, don’t you?

Cleaning out any closet-like area always uncovers things you forget you had – or things you don’t recall ever having purchased.

Where did this can of pickled Serrano peppers come from? Why did I ever buy a krumkake iron? When was the last time I used the fondue pot? Have I yet, in my life, made a bundt cake; and if I have, why do you suppose I have two bundt cake pans? Why do I have a can of government pumpkin?

These are the questions that occupy one’s mind when one finds one’s self at home during the day, over-using the word “one” and wondering what is that on the floor under the microwave, anyway? Who knows? But a couple lines of Comet and either it cleaned up or I no longer cared if it came up, one of the two.

OK. So I didn’t really snort a line of Comet. I didn’t even really imagine doing it, which is saying something, because I imagine a lot of things.

Rumors of my snorting Comet whilst in the throes of pantry-cleaning-ecstasy have been exaggerated.

So here I am, end of the day; and I’ve been through a half-can of Comet, two rags, three cans of Fresca, and however many brain cells I lost while taking a lunch break during “The Maury Show”.

But everything’s clean now. The pantry has been scrubbed clean of mystery schmutz; the Maury Show (followed by 30 minutes of Judge Alex) has ensured that my brain has been scrubbed clean of firing neurons; and tomorrow is another day.

This “time off” thing is over-rated.

Tomorrow? Floor scrubbing, yoga at noon and then an afternoon of writing interspersed with iPod grooving, kitty-petting, and a little detective work.

Why the detective work?

The camper that sat across the street for a month last summer is back.


Ms Sparrow said...

The suspense is killing me! Detect away, gal.

Kathryn said...

I'll admit. I've never imagined snorting Comet. I don't know why that never occurred to me, but I'm sure I'll think of you the next time I'm cleaning, thankyouverymuch. Have you ever tried to clean the floor tile grout with a toothbrush while wearing black pants only to discover that the cleaning product you've used seems to have contained a bleach product? Now, not only do I have two HUGE periods where my knees are supposed to be, but you can see every spot where I wiped my hands on my pants like a 4-year-old. Yeah...cleaning's a hoot. Great post...how I have to catch up!

Douglas said...

In a dyslexic moment , I read "panty cleaning" and nearly fell out of my chair. Somehow, pantry cleaning doesn't seem as interesting.

Joanie M said...

I think someone in the neighborhood has company and they brought their own digs with them.

powdergirl said...

Bit of a problem Pearl, todays list, as posted yesterday, was supposed to include 'drinking coffee' and sitting outside', tell me you didn't check those off, but not actually complete those tasks?

I know some of you listers, and I know you won't be able to del with guilt, so fess' up and repent, take your coffee outside and enjoy the morning : )

Comedy Goddess said...

Gov't pumpkin? ;O) Surely, you could find a recipe for a bundt cake to use that stuff up. And then you could deliver it to the people in the camper.

@eloh said...

Can't wait for you to scope out the RV...and Big Bird.

Tamsin said...

Please mail said krumkake iron to me where it will be loved, appreciated, and occasionally used to make crumbly little cakes.

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I'm giddy right now because I found your blog via a series of other blogs and I got to the part in this post mentioning your detective work regarding the RV. I am just like you - only all of my detective work is fixed on my disgusting neighbors, known as The Messies. [I blog about them all the time]

Anyway, I'd take an RV parked outside ANY DAY over an old mattress and couch.

Or hey, maybe if that RV needs furnishing, I can haul my neighbor's old furniture over!


mbuna53 said...

Pearl, If you ever want to get rid of the krumkake iron let me know. My brother makes krumkake and has an iron, but he might want to have a back up. Not sure what kind of shape it is in (his).

Setting aside some time to work on that book this week? Hmmm?


Mandy's Kidding said...

I bet snorting Comet would yield an excellent, germ-free, high.

ellen abbott said...

Somehow, I never envision an extra week off as being full of cleaning. It's so far down on my list that it doesn't even make it ON the list.

Madame DeFarge said...

Shouldn't you be wasting your time in frivolous idleness and nothingness? Or being Nancy Drew?

Red Squirrel said...

Pearl - can I hire you to clean my kitchen/bathroom/entire flat? I'd provide you with a checklist and the cleaning products (we probably don't have Comet here, but I'll find something equivalent).

I just get the feeling that you'd probably enjoy it more than I would :)

Anonymous said...

If you end up in jail from said detective work...I'll bail you out. No questions asked.

Heidi said...

Oh man! When we were moving I couldn't believe some of the things I unearthed. I don't like a lot of clutter. I consider myself a neat and tidy person. I don't know how I managed to have some of the things I had. Anyway....I'm rambling. All of this from your first few sentences. :)

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

On your next week furlough, will you come to Texas and help me? I got tickets!!! ;)

KMcJoseph said...

Everyone should have a can of governmnet pumpkin.

SweetPeaSurry said...

Oooh I'm tuning in tomorrow, comet-snorting detective agents at WORK man!!!

I do love the accomplisment after cleaning out said areas, but you're right ... being in the thick of it totally sucks!


Under the Influence said...

Government pumpkin? That sounds like a great band name!

Kavi said...

My attic needs some cleaning as well. I wonder what all i will be unearthing from there.

But this one week shutdown types...that sound very interesting.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

My fondue pot is in my shed. I'm storing it for a special occasion. Same thing with my bundt cake pans. I think you should come and clean my house this week. I could use the help. You sound like a very thorough cleaner!


Joanna Jenkins said...

Floor scrubbing!?! Hellooooo-- You're on vacation :-)

That Baldy Fella said...

Can you come and do my kitchen when you're done?

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

tuning in late...sorry about that, Pearl!

BEAST said...

How wierd is that, I too found a bhundt tin lurking in the back of a cupboard , I am taking this as some sort of cosmic hint and will do some baking at some piont

mapstew said...

Maison Map got 'cleaned' to within an inch of it's life on Monday and Tuesday. All hands on deck kinda thing.
The Eldest was going to Her 'First' Deb's (prom) and Stevie's (her best friend, who She was bringing to the event) parents and sisters were coming for drinks & nibbles.

Shiny Shiny Shiny!

Didn't look like our house tho'! We usually have more of a 'lived in' look to the place.

It' almost back to normal now!