I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Hot Damn Am I Productive

Day One of my week off and I’m right on top of my to-do list. Today’s to-do? Clearing off, polishing, and straightening my dresser drawer; making a pot roast; writing; doing the dishes and putting them away; and going to yoga.

So! Successful navigation of Monday?

Check.

Like my mother before me, I’m a list-maker; and in the fine tradition of list-making, I live for the check mark I give myself for having completed a task.

Make bed? Check!

Drink coffee? Check!

Breathe in and out, in and out? Check!

I like lists. Not only do I use them to get things done, but they foster my need for gratification.

For example: I did my dishes this morning. A thankless job, I hear you saying. But wait! Not in my world! In my world, I do the dishes, check it off my list of things to do, and say to myself, “You know, Pearl? I don’t think there’s a woman in all of Northeast Minneapolis that rinses a plate the way you do.” I then blush, tell myself it’s nothing, and think to myself, “what a lovely person that Pearl is”.

See? Everyone’s happy!

Tomorrow’s check list includes cleaning the pantry, drinking coffee, and sitting outside with the kitties.

Check, check, check.

A list maker could get used to this.

23 comments:

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I like lists. Lists are good. Even better is when you make a list, like for groceries, and remember to bring the list to the store.

Works way better that way.

And I love that finally I get to be first.

f8hasit said...

I too am a list maker.
However, I need to add to my list the things like, sit with the dogs; drink a glass of wine; snore.

THEN I'll havae all the instant gratification of checking off my list that I'll need!
:-)

ellen abbott said...

Maybe I should make more lists. Most days I am so busy and at the end I don't feel like I got anything done. A list would help me with that especially if it had on it things like pet the cat, look at the flowers, drink wine.

Not The Rockefellers said...

Pearl you are scaring me! And if you start saying:

"I'll just die if I don't get this recipe. I'll just die if I don't get this recipe. I'll just die if I don't get this recipe"

I am driving to Nordeast and saving you :) Heh!

Peace - Rene

Douglas said...

I am a procrastinator. Procrastinating is just about the only thing I don't put off. Therefore, I do not make lists.

Jess said...

Ohhhh lists ARE fun! I only have a grocery list. It is on one of those dry erase boards in the kitchen. Our friends think they are HILARIOUS and write things like Anal Ease and Cock Drops, which I don't usually notice until I am writing the list down on paper...

Mandy's Kidding said...

I make my bed every morning.

That may be all I do, but it's something.

Joanna Jenkins said...

nice list. But I think mine would include things like ice cream, a movie, dinner out, a massage, a mani/pedi-- all right after I made my bed, of course :-)
xo

Barbara Blundell said...

You,ll have happy appreciative dishes too and they'll give you a tick of approval

KMcJoseph said...

I need someone to make lists for me and then follow me around and check them off and constantly remind me what is on said check list.

Pat said...

I love and make lists, too! If I do something that's not on my list, I write it down and then immediately check it off. It is definitely self-gratifying!

Comedy Goddess said...

I like your lists better than mine!

Kevin Musgrove said...

"Think about washing pots" - check.
"Frown at cobwebs in hall window" - check.
"Wonder if that pile of books that tipped over all over the living room floor might need picking back up" - check.

By jiminy! It works! I feel better already.

Eric said...

Do you have the level of compulsion necessary to add an item you forgot to put on the list, but already completed, then instantly mark it off?

Joanie M said...

I'm saving my honey-do list for when my kid, the slob, leaves for college. I can hold out for 2 more weeks. I know I can!

The Jules said...

Housework list - check.
DIY list - check.
Bills to pay list - check.
Call to make list - check.
Birthday present list - check.
Swimming session list - check.

What? No-one else got a list list?

IB said...

The first item on my list is always

Make list- CHECK!

Lighthouse Prayer Line said...

Hi Pearl,

Thanks for sharing that with us! We love your
site!!

Hey. If you get the opportunity, would you
mind praying for the prayer requests that are
on our main page? We would also be very
honored if any of your readers would join us
in praying.

May the Lord bless you and your family!!

Mark, Lynn, Brooke & Carley Seay
www.LighthousePrayerLine.org

ps - please consider "following" our blog
-or- atleast grab one of our free, linking,
blue buttons. ( see top sidebar at
www.LighthousePrayerLine.org ).

•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Visit Us Soon!.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´•

Kavi said...

Standing outside with the kitties. Drinking coffee.

My my..those are some elements of list. So, i have made a mental list. And the first point there : Make a list !

Jodie Kash said...

My daily list looks something like:

1) Wake up in a decent amount of time to begin work and/or get to the gym.

2) "Anything Can Happen Day"

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

That's too weird. Just five minutes ago, I finished a post on my blog about to-do lists. Guess they're contagious.

ladyfi said...

You're hilarious! I hate lists but am so happy that someone else appreciates them...

Kathryn said...

I only like lists when I can add things to them as I do them and then get to cross them off. You know, like "get the mail"...well, that wasn't originally ON the list, but there's just so much satisfaction in crossing it off....