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Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Careful What You Ask For, Pt II

Show of hands now: who here has ever said, Hey! I could use a week off!

Mm-hmm. That’s what I thought. Me, too.

Now answer me this: who here has ever said, I’d like to take that same week off but not be paid in any fashion for it, even when I’ve got plenty of vacation time accumulated?

Mm-hmm. I didn’t think so.

So, to re-cap, time off: good; time off without pay: bad.

I have a week off, without pay, in less than two weeks, after two years without a raise, after a paycut at the beginning of the year, after a reduced work week in June.

What next?

Betrayed, angry, near tears and feeling just a touch of chest pain, I’m waiting, waiting for that other shoe to drop.

And the funny thing is that if you spend a lot of time doing that, waiting for that other shoe, after awhile it all starts to sound like a falling shoe.

I don’t want to be the Woman Waiting for the Other Shoe.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I know good and darn well that there are plenty of people out there who have already faced this; and to those who got in the Struggle Line ahead of me, I ask you: what role can I play here in the Land of Those Smiling Bravely? I suppose there are plenty of bartenders already, right?

Wait a minute. What do you mean, what are my skills? I thought I already told you! I can tell jokes, I can type like the very wind itself and I can do the splits.

Any call for that around here?

Not really? Well, I guess I’ll have a beer then. It’ll give me time to brush up on my jokes.
Maybe send out a memo or two.

Oh, yeah. You watch. This is all going to work out.


ellen abbott said...

Change is good, right? That's what they keep telling us.

Not The Rockefellers said...

Pearl,the time is now for us to form our league of superheroes..
Time is freeing up for us, not by accident, for us to achieve this...
How should we proceed?

btw Thanks for the on air shout out with Eskimo Bob!
My first...you rock!

Peace - Rene

Jess said...

Boooooooooooo on that! OK, it is officially time for me to win the lottery so we can all convene at an island (that I shall purchase) with handsome men in speedos and hot women with large ta-tas and fine asses, that will bring us all the beer we want.

And then we will start our own religion and continue to get rich off of that. I have some of the best religion starting ideas when I have had about 5 beers.

Let's get to it!

Pearl said...

Ellen, yes, that's what they say! And that's what I'm going to keep in my head, no matter what.

Rene, I agree, wholeheartedly. Why all this time freeing up? Is this the part where hard work plus opportunity equals success, wild success?!

Jess, LOL, I think that's a GREAT idea! I get some pretty good ideas going myself, and five beers sounds really really good to me...

Mandy's Kidding said...

This economy blows.

Pearl said...

Mandy, you are not kidding.

mapstew said...


Herself coulb be unemployed before the end of the year, from a job She loves! (Government funded)!Bastards!

Anyhoo, I have my new act almost ready for the road.(That makes 2). It means more nights out but Herself says She might just become a roadie!

Now all I need is a few bookings!


Barbara Blundell said...

Hi Pearl
As well as telling jokes,typing like the wind and doing the splits are you skilled at filigree tatting, cob-web lace or trapunto ? - if so you could find an opening

The Jules said...

Telling jokes and doing the splits?

If you can make beer come out of your boobs you'd be a perfect PA.

Pearl said...

You guys are killing me.

Barbara, I have actually crocheted some lovely patterns before. Doilies are my speciality! Hmmm. Food for thought!

Mapstew, that sounds like a lot of fun! Don't let the drunks help with the gear though. Had some guy insist on helping a friend with some enormous Marshall something or other and the guy dropped it on his foot. He lost his big toe nail. With all his wailing, iIt was traumatic for all of us.

Jules, that's the funniest thing I've read in days. Ya freak. :-)

De Campo said...

It isn’t really a whole week off. I’m sure you’ll be plenty busy looking for another job.
Good luck Pearl!

On a side note, this is why I don’t wear shoes.

Douglas said...

Use the week. Seriously. Write a book (or start it), send out resumes to somewhere, anywhere. But do something and do not wallow in the misery that others are laying on you.

My basic philosophy of life has been:

It all works out eventually.

And it does. If you don't accept the negativity that runs rampant at times like this.

And, if the axe falls, kick the boss in his shin before you leave.

@eloh said...

I'm echoing Douglas here. Time to seriously stick your feet into independent water.

I wish I had had a normal job in the Army...I might not be quite so bat shit...but they do send me a "love offering" every month, just enough to eat bean sandwiches and rent a man whore or two.

Cat said...

They'll never run out of street corners, love. It'll be ok.

Good luck to you!

Pearl said...

deCampo, I had to think about that a bit, as to why you don’t wear shoes, and then I realized it’s for the same reason I hide my goat. People used to “get” my goat. Then I hid it. And the more I think about it, the more I realize how right you are with the shoes.

I need to stop wearing shoes.

Douglas, I really like you; and yes, you are correct, sir. I’m going to use the week. I have a book that makes me laugh that’s 90% done. I have another that is 95% done. In both cases, they need a wrap-up and a going-over. Why am I not doing that? I am not one for wallowing. Well, maybe a tiny wallow but then, really, I don’t have time for that. Wallowing is too self-indulgent, don’t you think? All my self-indulgences lay in good sushi and books. It will all work out, and I believe that.

@eloh, I agree. I’m not a cowardly person by nature, and I think I’ve gotten comfortable here. As for bean sandwiches and man whores, sounds like the Old Country Buffet!

Cat, so much good advice today! :-D

powdergirl said...

Aw that sucks hard, Pearl.

Hey, you know what would be a fun job?

Phone sex hot-line call-taker, thats what!

No shoes required ;->

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Oh Pearl, I'm so sorry but maybe you can have a yard sale like us for some extra cash?

I heard on the news that strippers make a thousand dollars a night. All you probably need to do is the splits!! No one would pay to see me naked but I think you're younger than me and probably WAY hotter!! Just trying to help!

I haven't had a raise in awhile either. Hence the yard sale.


Eskimo Bob said...

I have nothing funny or witty to say; but I am looking forward to those books!

Joanna Jenkins said...

I say write a new resume and start making the rounds! This is too much :-(

Anonymous said...

Aww Pearl. That sucks.

FWIW: I would pay full price for a hard-cover edition of anything you wrote.

I bet even your grocery list is adorable.

Finish those books, your public awaits.

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Dang, me, too. Go check out today's post!

Jocelyn said...

I do think it's all going to work out, but I also wonder if all this building tension isn't leading to something...new...?

Could you become a yoga teacher? Or manage, through deep corruption, to score a booth at the State Fair, making $11,000 a week for a few weeks?

Daisy said...

It's too scary isn't it? Le crash over in France seems to be weathering the storm, but I always worry we're just a little behind you all over there.... Little worried on my skills too - it's not easy telling jokes and doing the splits in French!

Anonymous said...


Bevie said...

As a person with less than a week to go in their house (the bank wasn't all that understanding about us not being able to make payments due to lost jobs) I can truthfully tell you that the things we lose in rough times are generally just that - things.

It hurts. It hurts our pride and it hurts our feelings and it hurts our sense of well-being and personal value. But life goes on - if you want it to. Even when nobody wants to pay you for anything.

Jess said...

Thee has an award at my spot! Holla!

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

Funny you should mention this, because I just happen to be hiring someone to type me some jokes while doing the splits.

Feel free to send me your resume. And pictures of you doing the splits.

The Retired One said...

It IS going to work out. I am SURE of it.
You are talented in so many ways....