I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Swiftly Flowing Waters

Workers around the world marveled yesterday at the speed at which Monday came and went.

“It flew by,” reported a senior support staff person. “One minute it was 8:00 and the next minute it was lunch time!”

While those at the lunch table agreed that a day like Monday couldn’t go fast enough, they were also in agreement that there just weren’t enough hours in the day, anyway.

“It’s a contradiction, innit?” stated one over-worked admin. “I mean, on the one hand, we need more hours; and on the other hand, even if there were more hours, there still wouldn’t be enough hours! I mean, we would just end up working more hours! Right? Am I right?”

She then began talking about time-clock punching, labor unions, and the rise of the proletariat, after which she disappeared. She was found much later in the bathroom, where sources report she was found sitting on the toilet tank with her feet up off the ground, hoping no one would find her.

Those closest to the above-quoted admin remarked that she’d been talking like that for quite a while now. Concerns for her mental health are the frequent topic of water-cooler/copier conversation and are often both speculative and hilarious.

An intervention for her is planned for the next time anyone has open space on their calendar.

10 comments:

powdergirl said...

Pearl? Are you the 'above quoted Admin.?
If so I'd like to offer my services as bar-keep for the intervention. Sounds like my kinda party!

Kavi said...

You can ask for the moon. But open space in the calendar...is like asking for the milky way and beyond !

:)

Pearl said...

powdergirl, I may be. :-) I may be. Not the hiding in the toilet part, though. I haven't done that in YEARS.

Kavi, you have that right!

Sweet Cheeks said...

I'll bet that intervention involves extra large post-it notes and white out....doesn't it?

;-)

Pearl said...

Sweet Cheeks, it involves cleverly hidden bottles of tequila and out-of-office messages!!

De Campo said...

Monday’s are always hard on Marxist.

Pearl said...

De Campo, that will change come the revolution.

fingers said...

Hey that Commie admin provocateur is lucky they found her BY the water-cooler.
If she'd been working here at Capitalist Central, spouting that union bollox, she'd have ended up IN the water cooler...

Not The Rockefellers said...

She wouldn't happen to be knitting anything would she? :)

Peace - Rene

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

As long as she doesn't start singing those old union songs--they're the worst.