I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Friday, July 17, 2009

M-I-C – See Ya Real Soon! – K-E-Y – Why? Because It’s All Inclusive!

Afternoon Al is counting down to his Disney World vacation. He has been doing this since he returned from last year’s vacation at Disney World.

He, his wife, and his 10-year-old go there every year for one week.

He sat down next to me on the bus – we run into each other most afternoons – and sighed.

“What are you now, 74 days away?”

“72,” he said, sighing. “72 days.”

Afternoon Al and I have seen each other on the bus pretty much every day for the last five years. Our lives are nothing alike, differing wildly on all matters political, religious, familial. Other than living in the same neighborhood, you name it and more often than not, he and I disagree on it.

This has not stopped us from becoming friends.

Nor has it stopped me from being confused by his fixation with Disney World.

“Al, seriously. You’re a grown man. Why the same place, over and over? For cryin’ out loud, why Disney World every year?”

He stared thoughtfully out the window for a bit. “It’s a chance to not be who you are, where you can immerse yourself into a different world yet still be sane and safe, you know? It’s a chance to play and to forget, to experience life as you wish it was.”

Now who would argue with that?

Me, I’m prepping for my own version of a vacation at Disney World – my annual Summer Party. Saturday, starting at 5:00, there will be eating, drinking, story-telling, dancing, and, as has been the case for a number of years now, only partial nudity allowed.

No kids, no pets, no grievances – no, it's no Disney World, but then again, you don’t have to stand in line.

It'll be The Happiest Place on Earth.

And yes, of course you’d be invited if you lived any where near me! Don’t be silly!

23 comments:

IB said...

I'd be happy to be a part of the Pearl-World party, but the limitation on nudity prevents me from attending.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

How convenient. Should things get too out of hand, you know how to tell people--profoundly!--that they've been drinking too much.

Under the Influence said...

Disney World every year? I don't know, I think I could get those same feelings on a cruise or a nice, beachy resort!

Kavi said...

Countdowns help ! Big time ! And i guess thats a lost technique that i used to practice some years back...

I guess i should restart. All over again.

Jess said...

I am packing my overnight bag RIGHT NOW.

Reddirt Woman said...

Isn't it great that we can all make our own Disney Worlds...

Helen

Suzy said...

There were some Disneylanders in my building for a while. Grown man and woman DISPLAYING their merch on racks in the living room. They actually thought they were making a huge investment in the future.

I like Afternoon Al's description of why he goes. It sounds heavenly the way he puts it.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Al sounds like a wise, wise man. For about 3 more years. Then he's done for with a teenage daughter in the house.

Hope you have a great weekend!

Douglas said...

Only partial nudity? I, uh, have something scheduled or I'd be sure to be there... honest.

I used to like Disneyland (not world) back in the 60s and 70s. But it was nearby and there were other reasons. But Afternoon Al (in spite of sounding like a promo) summed it up pretty well.

And then I discovered Las Vegas.

Vanessa said...

You party sounds awesome. Can we may think a National Holiday? Kick-ass party day. Beats Disneyland. There's no vodka in Disneyland...

mapstew said...

Wishing ya oodles of fun!

xxx

Vic said...

Sounds like fun, Pearl!
So....ankles and wrists exposed, right? What else could you mean?? :)

Warty Mammal said...

LOL. Have a great party!

Not The Rockefellers said...

“It’s a chance to not be who you are, where you can immerse yourself into a different world yet still be sane and safe, you know? It’s a chance to play and to forget, to experience life as you wish it was.”

And so he should blog...yes?

Peace - Rene

Joanna Jenkins said...

I'd rather jump out of the window then spend a day at a jammed-packed amusement park. Your party sounds way better. I'll bring the seven layer bean dip :-)

mrwriteon said...

So, which parts get to be nude in partial nudity? That's important.

Otherwise, if I were nearby I'd drop over. Have fun. I know you will.

Jeanne said...

Are you having those days of heavenly blue skies and warm, dry weather I associate with Summer in the Cities?

C. Andres Alderete said...

My girlfriend's obsessed with Disney World too. I didn't realize it had a cult following.

Red Squirrel said...

But I don't live anywhere near you!!

Gutted :(

@eloh said...

What did Afternoon Al think about the nineteen year old train operator that got killed there the other day...or is he blocking that out.

Might be a good ice breaker for your next conversation.

Pearl said...

IB, I knew that that rule would keep some people out. I just didn't think it would be you. :-)

mjenks, it is one of my many skills.

Under the Influence, I concur!

Kavi, It will be deja vu -- all over again!!

Jess, I'll get some sheets on the line, in case you stay over!

Helen, absolutely yes. :-)

Suzy, oh, my, oh, my I know someone like that. :-) Their collection is their freakin' nest egg!!

Fancy Schmancy, you have a very very good point.

Douglas, I had a feeling that rule would keep you out, but it's not why I enforce it. You're going to have to trust me on this one. I went to Disneyland once. Big newspaperboy contest, me and my brother sold tons, won, trip to Disneyland. Mom made us wearing Minnesota Viking football jerseys on the plane. Apparently we were representin' or something.

Vanessa, you know you're right! If any place needs somewhere to drink, it's a theme park. Oooh. There's a thought.

mapstew, I was hoping you could make it!

Vic, Ohhhh, we don't go crazy like that. Only whores have exposed ankles and wrists! :-) We allow a glimpse of the nape of the neck...

Warty Mammal, we will!

Rene, you are right, my friend. :-)

Joanna, oh man I love when you make that bean dip!!

mrwriteon, whatever part is facing the sun MUST be covered. Them's the rules.

Jeanne, it's been unseasonably cool, actually. July 17th was the coolest on record. I think it reached 68. Jacket weather!

C. Andres, unfortunately, it does. Grown people have stuffed Mickey Mouses (Mickey Meese?) in their homes and there's not a damn thing we can do about it.

Red Squirrel, I know, and I think I would really enjoy drinking beer with you!

@eloh, well that just made me laugh out loud. There were a couple of conversations with him, on the political side of things, where I so disagreed with his thinking that I could've shot that one across the bow with glee.

Madame DeFarge said...

I know adults who go to Disney without children. I can't quite see the appeal. Maybe I grew up too quickly. I'd rather have your version.

The Jules said...

Can I bring my uke?

And is where you live anywhere near Brighton, cos I can get the train if it is?