What?! You didn’t you get my Happy Ball Point Pen Day card? Dude, I swear I mailed one to you!
But first things first.
For those of you just joining us, I’ve fallen into the habit of using the songs on my iPod during my bus commute to determine the upcoming state of my weekend; and because I am not working Fridays for a bit, today’s the day.
Let us delve deeply into the iPod and ask that age-old question: What Up, G?!
Colours by These New Puritans
The Other Side by Morphine
Long Time Gone by Crosby Stills & Nash
I Go To Work by Us3
Jump Into the Fire by Harry Nilsson
Burma Shave by Tom Waits
Get On the Good Foot by James Brown
I think the iPod is saying I should take some time off, have a margarita, maybe go to a museum or two, and then head out to the Mall of America and do some serious shopping.
And so I will.
I will be gone, daddy, gone next week! Hee! Hee! I’m absolutely giddy.
What does this mean for you? Nothing, really. You know me – there will still be a post every day.
Let’s get on with it, shall we?
As I alluded to earlier, if you are looking for them, we’ve got a funky holiday for every day of the week.
Upcoming “Waiting for the Barbarians” Day, of course!
Think of the presents!
We have until November, I believe it is, but I’m working on my speech now. Here it is.
Thank you for all coming by. Please move forward so there’s room in the
back for those just arriving…
As many of you may have heard, we are expecting Barbarians. That’s right – after years of inviting disaster, nay, courting disaster, we have what we’ve
The Barbarians are coming.
As the great Walt Kelly once said, “We have met the enemy… and he is us.”
ETA on the Barbarians is Oh-fifteen-thirty or so, whereupon there will be speeches, a key to the city presented to the biggest Barbarian in attendance followed by a potluck dinner in the basement of the City Hall.
Following dinner comes looting, pillaging, havoc, chaos and mayhem, followed
by the After-Mayhem Dance.
Don't forget to bring a change of shoes with you!
After years of waiting for the Barbarians, of frivolous conjecture on how to behave once the Barbarians are here, of who will be in charge and how it will affect our property values, we finally have our answers.
The following is a briefing received via fax today from the Barbarians.
Bow Before Us, Subjugates!
Let the reign of terror begin!
All will assemble! All will obey!
We will not bore you with the details of your enslavement at the present
For now: Resistance is futile! All will assimilate! All will obey!
And so on and so on,
Naturally, we are all very excited.
Are there any questions?