I've been included in a Minnesota anthology "Under Purple Skies", now available on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Monkey's Paw

Have you seen my hands lately?

Summer, Winter, Fall, no matter what time of year it is, I am never far from an emollient and/or sun screen. It runs in the family. Next to my love of Raisinettes, the need to un-flake-ify has been a constant in my life.

What can I say? As a middle-aged woman of Eastern European descent, I find myself prone to freckling, harboring a craving for a darn-good potato pancake, and reliant on a heavy and preferably lanolin-based slathering.

Yeah, baby.

The summer clothes are out: the cute cotton skirts, the strap-y sandals, sleeveless shirts; and now, more than ever, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for a good old-fashioned moisturizing.

And frankly, as Miss Let’s-Have-A-Look-At-That-Mole 2006, I resent this continual pressure I feel to remain as juicy and youthful as possible.

That’s not true. I was never Miss Let’s-Have-A-Look-At-That-Mole 2006. I was runner-up. I don’t know why I said such a thing, but dammit, people! I’m not getting any younger over here!

I need a strategy.

21 comments:

Joanna Jenkins said...

I have the same problem too. I spend half my time looking like a grease ball wearing the SPF 70 from head to toe, or a nutcase at the beach with long sleeves and a hat the size of a circus tent! Sometimes life is just not fair :-)

Douglas said...

I am waiting until science releases a study which shows that sun blocking chemicals cause skin cancer.

Jodie Kash said...

In CO, lip balm and hand cream are essentials.

I adore body butter, cover myself like buttered toast with the stuff. Strawberry from The Body Shop is the best.

Pop and Ice said...

I love my freckles! The only time they come out to play on my face is the summer so I try to give them a little sunshine for encouragement.

For dry skin, I use Aquaphor in the shower and follow up with moisturizer and it seems to work well on this newly 50 year old body I drag around.....

Pseudo said...

I love grapefruit lotion in the summer. It smells so fresh.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

I hear you; I have red hair and freckles and a family history of skin CA. Slather away!

darsden said...

I thought the sky was extra bright over that way...LOL happy summer skirt weather Pearl :-))

Chris said...

Ah, summer. I don't try to tan, I just neutralize the light blue.

Ms. Let's Have a Look . . . ew.

anon said...

Hah, I too am obsessed with emollients, moisturizers and exfoliating products.
Always have been. The tubes and jars are positively EVERYWHERE I go, or have been and there's even some in places I PLAN to be at in the future, pre-stocked for a dermatological emergency.
But for me it's not a battle with time, it's just a deep-seated hatred of dry feeling skin. Can't stand it! Makes me irritable as hell!
When I left my job I took 7, count em' 7 various tubes and jars out of my work truck.
Glad to hear I'm not alone ; )

Clinique, mmmm, smells like clean.

Eskimo Bob said...

I prefer Emu Oil. Not only does it moisturize well but it also is anti-bacterial and excellent to use on minor cuts and scrapes.

We're all anxiously awaiting the time that the mole begins to sprout hair.

Anonymous said...

That's not a mole...I think that's a small furry animal.

:)

Love that summer. Actually winter makes my skin more dry from the cold wind. I've given up trying to look youthful. I'm going for the 'not dead' look now.

Kisses Pearl!

Kavi said...

I recall of a lesson that we read in school called The Monkeys Paw ! It was a scary story. But good fun too. My mind went straight there !

May the summer bring great cheer to you ! I mean : greater !

troutay said...

I remember old Jergen's Lotion commercials:

"Would you hold hands with a Lobster?"

Mine are like that.

Roshni said...

well, I definitely don't need a tan..got one, thanks!! ;)

anon said...

Sweet Cheeks,

"The 'not dead' look" ????
ROFL !

@eloh said...

I thought the "end of juiciness" was over when you go to the store by yourself and someone yells "mommy" and you run to the child before you realize it isn't yours.

Now that the "blue veins" show on my hands...yeah...I have left my Juicy Lucy days behind.

Eric said...

Freckle girls are cute!

Unknown said...

I hear you Pearl, I either freckle or burst into flames...I use plain ol' Trader Joe's moisturizer for my hands. Working in a Kindergarten means I'm constantly washing my hands and that makes my hands dry..so I go through a lot of moisturizer...Trader Joe's makes a good product and it's like 3.99 for a big bottle.

Peace - Rene

KMcJoseph said...

As runner up were you asked a controversial question by Perez Hilton?

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I called my Aunt in MN today and she said it was raining. Must just be a cloud over her house. I would recommend taking Omegas 3-6-9 for moisturizing your skin. Or Flax oil if you're a vegetarian! It worked for my son who used to have really dry skin. Here in the high desert, we are raisins! Cocoa butter rocks and so does Aloe Vera!

Will you send me some nice weather?

Hugs!!

mapstew said...

I've been doing deliveries for my brother's company for the past couple of weeks and I've gotten a 't-shirt' tan, or 'farmer's' tan as we call it here!