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Saturday, June 6, 2009

Hey, You Got a Little Something There…

One of the tests of a true friend (aside from listening to you moan about your troubles, engage in the ahh-just-one-more-drink dance, and chuckle somewhat indulgently while you think you’re being funny) is the willingness to tell you when there’s something weird on your face.

Or anywhere else.

I got to thinking about this at work the other day, after discovering that I’d walked from the bathroom stall to the sink to the full-length mirror with my skirt tucked in my underwear.

Isn’t that charming?

I’m just so glad that I “checked my look” before heading back to my desk. Nothing screams “executive assistant” like showing people my executive ass.

And that little bit of happiness – catching myself before being made a jackass – amused me the rest of the day.

But it also reminded me of someone I once thought of as a friend.

You would think, wouldn’t you, that if you were both single at the time and out for drinks, for flirtation, to dance and laugh, that your friend would tell you about the spinach leaf covering your two front teeth before you discovered it yourself, hours later, wouldn’t you?

I had spent several hours looking like I was missing my front teeth.

And she never said a word.

I wonder what she’s up to these days?


Rod said...

A friend will bail you out of jail but...
A good friend will be sitting there with you saying damn that was fun!


giantspeckledchihuahua said...

you must have been waaaaaay hotter than she and that was the only way she would have gotten a little flirt time. I dunno if you should hold that against her. our insecurities make us do some pretty stupid stuff. I would have told you about it and gotten some joy out of your discomfort. I do it all the time, and then remind people that it's only a REALLY good friend that would tell them.

suZen said...

Don't know how you found me, but I am damn glad I found you! Delightful blog - love your style! As for the spinach in the teeth bit, my husband let me display mine - it wasn't intentional mind you - just proof that sometimes we really don't LOOK at each other! I think God invented mirrors with a rye smile on his face - like, let them see themselves and then had a ROFL!

Not The Rockefellers said...

Now that's funny...
The best mirror is a friend's eye
But why didn't your friend's eye
See that you had Popeye
On your grill?
What the hell?
But, look, you got a funny story
so everything is hunky-dory
so with your past, make amends
with friends and redneck vegetarians
Of her name do not curse
and carry a compact in your purse...

Peace - Rene

@eloh said...

Fully agree with Rod.

Chris @ Maugeritaville said...

You were eating spinach?

Seriously though, you'd think she'd have mentioned it. Like a guy telling his wingman that his fly's down, you just gotta have each other's back. Or teeth, as it were.

mapstew said...

I went for a long walk 'round the neighbourhood with my wife a couple of days ago. A popular pastime here during fine spells.
We got a lot of smiling glances and nodding of the heads from other walkers.
It wasn't until we got home that she noticed the flys of my shorts were undone!

Chaka said...

Sometimes it is just easier to pretend that you don't notice those things than tell them their zipper is down or they have dandruff on their collar or whatever. That is until they get home later and make a list of all the people they spoke with during the day and did nothing to warn them.

a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

pearl...i got your booger and teeth check any day of the week.

but that skirt in your drawers thing? that's all you baby.


Kavi said...

Spinach...Were you Popeye or something like that ?!!


And with that two hours down..you still survived.

Enough to make you wonder about where she is now.

man, that is some spinach !

Sweet Cheeks said...

Don't you love it when a complete stranger comes up to you and tells you that your skirt is tucked into your pantyhose...or you have spaghetti sauce on your chin?

I buy those honest souls a drink, or lunch or whatever to show my appreciation!

Check your e-mail!

Domestic Goddess said...

You hit on a good subject. So many people will let things like that roll right by them in silence. Me? Hell no, I've been known to tell a perfect stranger about something out of whack, helping them to avoid a possible embarrassing situation. I firmly believe 'what goes around, comes around' and hope that I may run into someone that will have the decency to do the same for me.

Eric said...

Or like when a friend will warn you about how risky your portfolio options positions have become and... wait, that's none of their business...

Nice post.

SweetPeaSurry said...

She wasn't much of a friend was she? Now, however, you can carry those little colgate wisps around for those little times! WEET!


The Retired One said...

She was probably threatened by your hottie self and hoped the guys would go for her instead of old spinach teeth.
I agree....someone should tell you these things.
I used to tell my CEO at the hospital to stop jiggling the change in his pocket when he held employee meetings...and he laughed and said no one else ever told him of this annoying habit. Ever since that, he would come up after some big employee presentation and ask me how he did. I would be straight up honest with him. He LOVED it. He left and went on to another hospital, but we have stayed in touch and now he comes and stays at our house when he is in the area and has become a dear friend.

Debbie said...

I'm with you. I think you should help anyone out - even a stranger - when they have an awkward situation like that.

Brian said...

I would tell a friend. But a fake-friend?...no way.

C. Andres Alderete said...

I recently walked into the ladies' restroom at work. I heard an alien spraying sound in one of the stalls and dashed out before I was noticed. It was a traumatic moment in my life.

Jocelyn said...

Wow, the subterranean bitch friend. Yea, I've had one or two of them--so insecure in themselves that they feel more powerful if they keep the spinach a secret. Gives them a chance to snag the random guy, should one stop by the table.

Pearl said...

Rod, who are you and how do you know about that?! :-D

Giantspeckledchihuahua, you may be right about how hot I was :-D but she wasn’t bad herself!

suZEn, I’m so glad you HAVE found your way over here!

Rene, girl, the way you riff blows my mind. :-D
And you are absolutely right, of course. In the end, we are all responsible for the spinach in our teeth, both literally and figuratively…

@eloh, Rod’s a smartie, isn’t he?!

Chris, you don’t like spinach?! A lovely vegetable!
You’ve stated it as I would – friends have each other’s backs. You watch my drink when I’m in the bathroom and I’ll keep you from telling that really big guy what you think of his Flock of Seagulls shirt.

Mapstew, this explains your extraordinary popularity!

Chaka, you have a very good point there!

Mouthy Irish, :-D I’m just so glad that I caught it before I left the bathroom!

Kavi, and THAT’S the power of vegetables! :-D

Sweet Cheeks, I always appreciate when someone lets me know that something’s amiss!

Domestic Goddess, that’s exactly how I feel about it. Because I would want to know, I am willing to let others know…

Eric, what?! What are you saying I should do with my portfolio? Shit!!

SweetPea, no, she wasn’t. Not really. But I managed to have a good time anyway. :-D

Retired One, it’s important to have someone who tells you the truth, and it’s especially important the “higher up” in anything that you get. OK – lousy sentence, but you know what I mean…

Debbie, you and I are in wild agreement.

Brian, good point. Ooooh. That makes ME the fake friend! Hmmm.

C. Andres, “alien splashing sound”?! The mind staggers!

Jocelyn, that is pretty funny. :-D

♥ Braja said...

Karma dictates she will be married to someone who refuses to tell her that her skirt is caught in her undies or that her teeth are covered in spinach.

nikkicrumpet said...

LOL...hey if you have a nice enough butt....that might get you a promotion hehehe. It's always good to take that last peek before leaving the loo. And I wonder if you hadn't...how long it would have been before one of your office mates would have told you.

Madame DeFarge said...

My husband is adept at pointing out bits of crumbs attached to my mouth, so I am grateful for that. What I am not grateful for is his insistence on dabbing it off in front of people. I have no dignity anymore. It's just one step away from dribbling.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Ahh, the dreaded "show your butt" after a trip to the ladies room. Clothing should come with some kind of warning signal if that happens. Glad you caught it yourself!

LSL said...

I am the kind of person who tells people - usually anyone at all - if they have something on their face/in their nose/on their butts. Last year a stranger kindly told me that I'd tucked my skirt in my underwear right before I walked out of the restroom and into the office. I think I can safely say that I'm still grateful.