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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Everyone’s A Winner

We’re all just so gosh-darned special, every single one of us.

Yeah. No, I don’t honestly believe that. While I do believe that we are all individuals (as opposed, I guess, to one large sweaty blob with multiple shoe sizes), just because one draws breath does not necessarily make one “special”.

That’s right. I’ve brought out the quotation marks.

There are many ways to be special.

Clothing, for instance. Want to stand out? TV commercials can show you how to dress like everyone else so that you’re special.

You want to be special? How about being the man in the skirt? There you go – now you’re special. I can pretty much guarantee that you’ll be the only one at the party wearing it.

Or there’s tattoos. Remember when you hardly knew anyone with a tattoo? Maybe a sailor or other armed service representative. And then there were the bikers. They had tattoos, too. Now? They’re so special that you can find a number of them at any gathering: students, day care workers, bus drivers. Roses on the ankle or the breast are not enough anymore. Now there are names tattooed on young necks, tattooed stars on faces, full sleeves of tribal art.

I don’t begrudge people their tattoos, but to me, I’ve always looked at them as permanent identification. Maybe I don’t want to be identified! How am I going to disappear mysteriously – perhaps to the Caribbean – if I can be identified by my tattoo?

Hmm. Maybe I watch too much Crime TV.

The special-ness goes beyond the body, of course. We’ve got people on the bus that are so special that they get their own seats: one for their butts and one for their bags. We’ve got people holding conversations in yoga studios when it has been posted that, in the studio, we practice silence.

Inconsiderate does not equal special. And crabbing about it does not equal actually being a part of the solution.

29 comments:

C. Andres Alderete said...

I once saw a man driving a chrome armadillo. When he stepped out of his unique vehicle, he was a wearing a pleather kilt. He was special.

The Jules said...

I play the ukulele, therefore I'm special by default.

My wife says I'm eccentric, but what would an avacado know?

De Campo said...

I don’t think I like your tone Pearl. Keep it up and we in the (very) Special Forces might have to pay you a visit.

If you see the short black helicopters hovering above it’s already too late.

kimber p said...

hey!! yes, I was a bit tipsy the day back in '94 when I thought getting a rose tat on my right ankle would make me special....now I'm just a cliche...*and I can't make that 'e' have a little backwards slant on top of it..* so I really suck...lol

Pearl said...

C. Andres, now THAT'S special!

The Jules, playing the ukelele does make you special, and you are invited to my parties any time.

De Campo, ahh, the matte-black 'copters. They haven't shown up yet, no, but I'm always watching.

Kimber, :-D I think I'm getting crabby these days. Relationship issues, you know. Anyway, the majority of my friends have tattoos, so I've nothing against them, we just enjoy a good laugh when we count roses at parties or something... I'm just plain "off" lately...
My friend Ginny's tattoo of rose bud on the top of her foot was drawn/done so badly that she has looked, for the last 20 years, like she has a cockroach on her foot. :-)

darsden said...

I am "special" because lets be honest Pearl how many mole hole dwellers do you know?
I don't care for tattoos either. I think it would be harder to find those that don't have tattoos now than those they do. Esp. on women, (my beautiful sister included) it just takes away from her beauty, it's gross to me..but just my opinion don't want hurt anybodies feelings out there...just not my thing to do or look at.

darsden said...

Jules-I use to play the ukulele lol I miss it.. also a mean kazoo...lol

The Jules said...

darsden - Playing a uke is like riding a bike. If you mess up, you fall on your face, lose a tooth and get gravel rash.

Er . . .

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Ah I've have my moments of center of the universeness, so I try to be understanding when others think the rest of the population has disappaered. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume I caught them on a off day. But then again - if I'M having an off day too, then we're in trouble.

The Retired One said...

Special people are the only ones special...the rest?: Nah, not so much...

Daisy said...

The person I think is most special is my husband - the Colonel. He's so special because he really doesn't know it! He's so serious, it's hilarious!

Fragrant Liar said...

I rather like seeing a man in a skirt. A kilt, that is.

I'm sorry you had to bring out the quotation marks, but when you're talking special stuff, it's gonna happen.

But then maybe "special" is over rated?

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

All animals are special.

Some are more special than others.

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

My son was playing a relay race this weekend and their team so obviously lost..but the teacher still HAD to say, "Yay! Everyone's a winner"! huh?! Give the guys who won some credit!
Coming to your post content, you are SO right! I think the current trend is to have everyone be 'special' so no one actually is, unless you do something weird like drive a chrome armadillo like Andres says!!

Eskimo Bob said...

I have to eat with a cork on my fork so I don't poke out my eye. . . I'm Special.

I have to have armpit smell on my shirts left armpit before I write letters. . . I'm Special.

I clean out my ears with my pinky and then eat the ear wax . . . I'm Special.

darsden said...

Eskimo Bob...uhmmm I think the pressure is getting to you dude... GaaaaaaRRRRoooooSSSSS

ladyfi said...

This was a 'special' post!

Very humorous.

@eloh said...

Question, how special do you have to be to enter into the special olympics? Or maybe we could start something called the "Confused Olympics" I'm pretty sure I could qualify for that. I would just stand in the middle of the field and wonder what it was I was there for.

ICKY said...

I waste alot of potential....does that make me special?

Barbara Blundell said...

I'm Special-the same as everyone else

Pop and Ice said...

Those people aren't *special*, they're exceptions to the rule. Or so they think. You know, the annoying ones. I know when I'm feeling cranky I feel like I should be able to do what I want and everyone leave me alone. But that just means I need a nap and, come on!, how hard is it to leave me alone for a few hours? Till I can get back to being nice or at least tolerable.

Kevin Musgrove said...

I once got told off at work because I pointed out that most dictionaries suggested a distinction between "special" and "thick as pigshit." In the context of a response to the statement "senior manager X is a special case."

mapstew said...

But Pearl, I AM special.

I am that bald guy with the tattoos playing my Uke while wearing a kilt!

True.

xxx

Eric said...

I'm not really special, my bus is the big one.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

That "butt" and "bag" thing on the bus turns me into the Incredible Hulk. Did your fat bag pay for a seat? Then move it, beeyatch! Yes, that's a pet peeve of mine. :) I'm breathing deeply now.

Amber Star said...

Did I sign up to win something here? :) I can't remember, because I'm so special.

Kavi said...

Disappearing to the carribean...? You do seem to have some plans indeed.

Indeed. I am already thinking like you. or rather trying to think like you !

:)

powdergirl said...

Crap, I never thought of the permanent identification issues.
I've always wanted to wake up on a tropical beach with a margarita in one hand, a big box of small unmarked bills at my side and of course, amnesia.
Oh well, at least I didn't get my vital stats inked all over my neck, my cover should hold.

mmuehle said...

Haha that's a funny story. Especially how it ended. Well anyways I've started my own blog about finding training to become a court reporter. You never know you could have crazy stories to tell like this.