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Saturday, May 23, 2009

No, Really. I Can’t Stay Long.

WARNING!!! The following is a RE-POST!

(I know! For shame, huh?!)




Written, with apologies, shortly after bar-close and a good two hours after I sent my husband, Willie, a text that I’d be home shortly…


OK. Hic. Maybe just one more.

See? This is how it starts. I’m sorry – what’s that you say? You think we should meet at the 331 for a couple drinks? Well, sure! I’d love to. But I can’t stay long. I’ve got eggs to candle first thing tomorrow morning, an appointment with a phrenologist at 11:00, a class (Mushrooms, Mushrooms, Mushrooms!: Don’t Fear The Fungus) at noon and a full afternoon of cat-shaving – and I’ve got to be sober for it this time.

But see? This is how it starts. Any time I use the words “but I can’t stay long”, I can almost guarantee that I will still be there when the bartender starts making those grand sweeping gestures towards the front door.

I can’t stay long, my ass.

When will I learn? Wait – is it necessary that I learn? Who do I talk to about getting credit for this “learning”?

No, no, no. Entirely wrong attitude.

Where was I?

Oh, yes. Getting credit for staying until bar close. That’s a great idea! We should all go out, have a couple drinks, take notes, have someone proofread our notes, and then go dancing.

Wait. No. No, no, no, I thought you said you couldn’t stay all night! I thought you had to have someone read your lumpy head or something in the morning!

No, I never said that. I did not say that.

Oh, shut up, will you?

Hey! Have you seen our waitress? We have time for one more, and then I’ve really got to get going.

William Throckmorton the Third’s going to have a fit.

22 comments:

Douglas said...

I should post an old comment in keeping with the theme. But I couldn't find one that fit the story. Perhaps I should have another drink and contemplate it before I go.

KMcJoseph said...

Hi Pearl!!!

Lidian said...

I love the list of things you have to do in the morning! lol

What in the world is candling eggs? Do you hold a candle up to them?

Not after last night I'll bet you don't!

@eloh said...

Good Lord Pearl, I hope the name Throckmorton is just part of your hi-jinks. . .if not . . . we might be related.

darsden said...

LOL why you having to do a re-post are you experiencing a de'sa'vu

powdergirl said...

Yeah, the ubiquitous "just one more",
My favorite cocktail.

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

I'd hear more on this cat-shaving afternoon...
I'll buy you a drink...

@eloh said...

By the way Pearl, your sloppy seconds are tons better than most folks "firstees".

The Jules said...

Don't call it re-posting, call it nostalgia posting.

One day, as the dementia sets in, all your entries will be like this, only on a daily basis.

Debbie said...

Now that does sound like a fun time!

Pearl said...

Douglas, I think a re-posted comment would be hilarious!

KMcJ, Hey! :-D

Lidian, why, my dear! You’ve never candled an egg? You must!
No, really I believe candling is done to check for fertilized eggs by holding them up, one at a time, in front of a candle.
Very “Little House On The Prairie”. :-D

@eloh, Just a part of my hijinks I’m afraid. :-D My ancestors came to the U.S. all between 1898 or so and 1904 from a conglomeration of Scandinavian and East European countries. I’m quite a mutt (in all the best possible ways, of course).

Darsden, the re-post is a matter of too much to do! Summers are like that, I guess! Last night I got my hair colored and trimmed and then had some much needed down-time on Kathy’s deck (there was bottle after bottle of barley pop!).
Honey, I promise fresh posts in the future!!

Powdergirl, you and me both! And can I use that, the Just One More Cocktail?!
I swear, any time I say, oh, I’m going out this weekend and I’m going to PARTY – then, I don’t. If I say, hey, why don’t we run out for a couple? Odds are good we’ll still be there hours later. :-D

Cygnus, oh, the stories I can tell for free drinks! :-D

@eloh, thank you. :-D

The Jules, I was toying with the concept of the post belch (a repeat post), but couldn’t work it out. And I quite like the idea of someday being pleasantly (I hope!) surprised by just about everything.

Pearl said...

Debbie, I love the spur of the moment get togethers. I like things casual and open-ended!

powdergirl said...

Yeah, those best laid plans...who needs em,?
And of course you can use it, I'd be flattered!!

Pearl said...

powdergirl, plans are over-rated. I don't like trying to control a good time. If it's not happening, ya go home. If it IS? Stay!

I am so writing something on the Just-One-More Cocktail...

darsden said...

Pearl I am just pickin even you deserve time off from writing re post are fine...just gotta get my pick on!

Lilly said...

Do you have a really horrific hangover is that why you are having to repost or are you having a fantastic and wonderful jam packed weekend?

mapstew said...

Hey, it's one for my baby, and one more for the road. xxx

Lisa said...

throckmorton- now thats an old elizabethian name for you !!

Bex said...

your comments are just as entertaining as your post! this was my first time reading it. now i want to find the original post and read those comments.

your blog is super and i gave your blog an award saying as much.

stop by and pick it up!

http://griggboys.blogspot.com/

ladyfi said...

Haven't seen this post before. Very amusing!! Was your husband worried? And what is egg candling?

The mind boggles...

Mandy's Kidding said...

I bet the cat was glad you were out drinking.

Pearl said...

Darsden, oh, I know what you’re doing! We would have so much fun together – I suspect you would enjoy picking at me – just a bit! just for my own good!! :-D

Lilly, just cramming too much into a weekend, as usual. It’s properly filled with a lovely combination people and tasks. I absolutely love gardening and today (Sunday) I am on my way to Jen and Vin’s to move the ferns that have moved from where I want them to where I don’t – they’ll enjoy themselves at their new house. And tonight? Margaritas! Actually, no, I just realized that to have done that I would’ve had to prepare, as Minnesota does not allow liquor sales on Sunday. Or the selling of automobiles. Weird, huh?

Mapstew, do you know the Big Bad Voodoo Daddies? Fabulous swing band. I believe they have a song called “One for My Baby”.

Lisa, oh, I’m just making that up, actually. Willie’s last name is actually some weird Dutch concoction that looks like it might be a swear word in another language…

Bex, aren’t you sweet?! Thank you so much! I’ll stop by soon – I’ve written it down. Can’t wait to see it. And I’m very glad you’ve come by and are commenting. I’m quite the smartie – in my writing and in real life – but I love people and my philosophy has always been “the more the merrier”.

Ladyfi, I’m glad to hear that! Egg candling is when you hold a fresh egg up to a candle, looking inside for the shadow that may indicate that it is a fertilized egg and therefore no longer something you want to eat. It’s a rural, farming kind of term probably known by other names in other areas…

Mandy, that damn cat put me UP to all the drinking! “Oh, have another,” she says. “You deserve it.” Pusher. :-D