The following may – may! – fall under the heading of “The Market is Out of Control”, “Too Much Information”, or perhaps even “Pearl, Your Mother Must Be So Proud”…
But I’m gonna do it anyway. Not because I don’t like you – because I do, I really do – but because I am boggled.
And when this happens, when incredulity strikes? Honey, I just need to know. I need to know what you think, what others think. I need to know if I’m the only one who thinks this is nuts or if the reasonable explanation is right in front of me and I just don’t see it.
To wit: We are all fully aware that I am female, yes? And that females require what are euphemistically called “feminine hygiene products”, yes?
Did you know that there are pads/serviettes/toallas that now come lemon-scented?
Because the ability to get these products scented? Hey! That plays heavily into my shopping habits. That is what I ask myself whilst standing in the My-Husband-Will-Be-Standing-In-Front-Of-The-Frozen-Pizzas-While-I-Figure-This-Out Section: Can I get my monthly-necessaries with a fresh, lemon-y scent?
Since this has come to my attention, oh, 20 minutes ago, I’ve been fighting off the wrinkle-producing “WTF Face” I’m prone to making whenever confronted with things that insult my intelligence.
Lemon-scented feminine hygiene products: When your crotch absolutely positively must smell citrus-fresh.
What if I much prefer an outdoorsy, pine scent?
What else is out there that I don’t know about?
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