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Sunday, May 3, 2009

Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaains

I left work at 9:15 Friday morning, less than two hours into my day with the distinctly flu-like symptoms of the side effects of my new inhaler (Advair).

Have you been on public transport, sick? A woman I knew ages ago told me how her mother always had a plastic bag in her purse, having once witnessed a woman vomit on the bus.

I grabbed a Target bag out of my desk on the way out.

Although I didn’t end up using it, I wasn’t far off.

But I wasn’t the only one looking ill. Perhaps it was in reaction and/or sympathy to my own sad, gray face, but frankly, I doubt it. I rode the number 10, and everyone knows those people don’t care about anything.

And that got me thinking.

When the zombies come, how will we know?

Look around! Even from my perch on the bus, peering down into cars, ogling pedestrians, I’m amazed at the number of people who seem unaware of their surroundings.

People who are not mentally present. People who wish they were anywhere but where they are.

People who may or may not want to eat your brains.

It’s just a theory; and frankly, one without much behind it, but it keeps me amused.

We’ve got silver bullets for werewolves, and wooden stakes for vampires; but how are we going to get rid of all these zombies?

24 comments:

darsden said...

Pearl hope you are feeling better today. I too have noticed the blankness in the faces on the bus. It is the economy and the flying pigs...people have always heard "when pigs fly" they are scared to death cuz the pig is flying ;-)
(Zombies..send them to Sudan Michel said she would take them in)unless it is the music zombies ;-) Feel better lil Pearl!

De Campo said...

I’m way ahead of you. I already have the schematics depicting how my left arm will be replaced by a chainsaw upon zombie outbreak. I figure between that and my “boomstick” the zombie horde doesn’t stand a chance.

Bevie said...

You're right about that #10. Seems to me I rode that one back in the 80s. Shudders.

I do hope this nausea is just a temporary thing while you adjust to the medicine. When the cure is as nearly as bad as the disease it makes you wonder.

Beth said...

Good lord, I hope you feel better. As for the zombies, you raise a good point. With the rampant indifference of Americans, how will we recognize them?

Kevin Musgrove said...

The zombies will be the ones not clustering around the front of the bus because they can't be arsed moving down the aisle to sit down. The first time I see a group of bodies get on and move up I'll know I'm having a George Romero moment.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I thought we were all zombies in one form or another. How do you know we're not? Can't prove it...

Get better, Pearl. And don't get on the #10 again...

elohssanatahw said...

Hey Pearl, Be careful some of that lung medicine is down right ... I think I heard recently that saying bad things about products causes money grubbers to come to your house and give you a bare-ass spankin'. Not that I'd mind, just wanted to tell you there are other meds out there that have the same delivery system and may not make you sick. I have similar lung problems and refuse Advair because of the dangers, I use Spiriva which hasn't killed anyone yet.

♥ Braja said...

You ok Pearl honey? Miss you...forget the zombies, they have their own planet and will return when they've had enough...er...chocolate, or somethin'...
xx

powdergirl said...

Any Zombie who's willing is more than welcome to snack on my grey matter this morning.
Poor thing will starve to death, as I killed so many brain cells last night there's no sustenance to be had here.

Kavi said...

Perhaps thats exactly what they are thinking of too. As they go about doing their ogling and other daily routines !!

I hope you are feeling better today !

:)

Sweet Cheeks said...

Pearl...

Zombies, while well known for their suave slow dancing techniques, always give themselves away by their choice in clothes...their shirts are always untucked...tsk tsk.

And usually, in the end they kill each other instead of the 3 remaining non-infected survivors due to the fact that their brains have dripped out of their noses...

So, really, don't worry. I have this on good authority from Caprinkle...she scored 100% on the How To Survive A Zombie Attack quiz on Facebook.

;-)
Take it easy today, Peggles.
Kisses~

Madame DeFarge said...

I have a sneaking fondness for zombies, especially their loathing for running around. I like their more laid back approach to life. All you have to do is to ignore the dripping gore and you'll be fine.

swenglishexpat said...

Sorry, too late. Too many of them already. Perhaps just tickle them? ;-) Re looking down at people in cars; once saw a lorry driver taking a picture with his digital camera of a young lady in the car next to him at the red lights! What a pervert!

Barbara Blundell said...

persuade them to have a puff of you new inhaler

Michelle said...

I want to eat your brains!!!

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

It ain't so much the BRAINS we's interested in tasting, Pearlie...

Your theory on zombified folk... ain't the bus ride and tangential ogling enough backing?
At least, even in your discomfort, you were AWARE ENOUGH to peep, wander and [subsequently] post about it all...

BRAAAAAIIIINNNNSSS indeed...;D

Pearl said...

Darsden, I’m getting better but this side effects thing is bullshit!

deCampo, if they make a movie of that, I’ll no doubt buy the whole set and spend a number of nights watching it. :-D

Bevie, I have no intention of getting used to this. I don’t know how I could! I’ve kept the details low-key, but I missed a very well-paying job on Saturday (not in my nature) and now, Sunday afternoon, STILL don’t feel well!

Beth, exactly!

Kevin, oh, right on! Very good point.
I’m keeping an eye on the morons who refuse to sit or at least move to the back of the bus. If they aren’t actually already zombies, they are easily most susceptible to zombie-hood…

Mary, the #10 is an emergency bus, truly, and requires a much longer walk… Good point re: the zombies, too. I’ve caught myself being a bit zombie-ish. So much of modern life requires zombie-ness…

Elohssanatawh, I was wondering about Spiriva. I’m absolutely calling my doc tomorrow, though.
And now I’ve got something I paid $51 for and have used three times. Anybody?

Braja, I’m coming around, I’m coming around!

Powdergirl, I’m sorry to hear that you’ve, um, anesthesized yourself! I managed to avoid this by being too nauseous to go to TWO parties I’d been invited to. On the one hand, a very good thing, and on the other hand, kind of dull…

Kavi, now wouldn’t that be an interesting blog? Hmmm. What does the zombie think?

Sweet Cheeks, good advice all the way around!
Good ol’ Caprinkle! When the Zombies come, Caprinkle will be Queen!

Madame DeFarge, I hadn’t considered the mellow aspect of the zombie… They certainly are quiet on the bus!

Barbara, now THAT’S a practical solution.

Michelle, I knew it! I knew it!!! :-D

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

I like your thinking. It's about time that someone has brought that to the table. Well done. Bloody hell well done. Now let's get you cleaned up.

Lisa said...

Mcdonalds for the Zombies Pearl- easy xx

fingers said...

Not a good time to be exhibiting any flu-like symptoms, Pearl.
I'm surprised you haven't been laminated and locked in your own basement...

Gadjo Dilo said...

Shouldn't zombies have a special zombie bus (which can pass through a brick wall, for instance, without breaking the wall)? But I suppose that would be a return to the bad days of segregation.

The Jules said...

Zombies, pah. Woke up with worse.

FYI: http://www.zombiesurvivalwiki.com/

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Hmmmm...Pearl, if you don't know how to rid the world of Zombies (in no particular order: dynamite, chainsaws, shotguns), then I don't know if we can still be friends.

Also, I think the rotting flesh and withered bodies will be key in discerning between the Zombies and those mindless masses who shuffle from one place to another in what they refer to as "their daily lives".

ICKY said...

Funny...there is a show on G4 underground about a band of 4 who are preparing for the zombie apocalypse. These people are for real....its not a skit, its a documentary. I can't wait to see it.