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Saturday, April 4, 2009

Whatcha Eatin’?

Quickly! An award, followed by a story.

I received the Trainwreck Award from Ann over at Ann’s Rants. I am amused and slightly startled. Do I seem like a trainwreck?! I don’t mean to, but perhaps that’s why she thinks I’m amusing, huh? The funniest things are often not only unintended but also tinged with a bit of sadness at times. That’s me to a “T”.


I pass along this honor, that states...This award is for the blogs that we like to stop and gawk at every day, time permitting. We just can't get enough of these bloggers' wit, honesty, good humor, and obvious love for spinning a great yarn around the events of their lives, even if they were weeping while it happened a week ago. Life is too short to not laugh at the trials and curiosities that are put before you and these writers get that. In spades. And they aren't afraid to share.

Liz, at A Mom on Spin
A woman with a lovely vocabulary. What’s really rather funny about this is that I’ve just caught up on her blog and see that she was awarded this just days ago by someone else. Hmm. I wonder what that says, Liz?!

Vic, at What Were You Thinking?
She has the details and an elegant and irreverent way of putting them together. If we’re not careful, we’re going to learn something…

That Baldy Fella, at Nick Nack Blog Attack
A man what writes good. I find him quite humorous, even he spells funny because, you know, well, he’s English.

I have another award stored somewhere and damned if I can remember where it is. If you gave it to me, don’t be mad!!

So! Do you have time for a quick one?

My sister and I used to live together, somewhere in our early-30s. It was a damn good time; and when our sons were away on the weekends, as sometimes happened, we’d use the quiet time to get loud.

Shots of vodka and Rollerblades. Do you have any idea how well these things go together? I do! A drunk on skates has no fear and no compunction against, saying, skating to the grocery store to get smokes.

It’s also how we both learned to spin.

We are both dancers, both “happy” drinkers, and we’d crank the music up and dance, leaving the room only to answer the phone or go to the bathroom.

I remember going into the bathroom and coming back to see her head in the fridge. There was an odd “pssssssssssst” sound coming from its interior.

“Whatcha eatin’?”

“Come ‘ere! Come ‘ere! Wanna know something really tasty?” She held up the Redi-Wip container. “Open your mouth!!”

Ah, why not?! I opened my mouth and Karen filled it full of whipped cream.

“Hey, you wanna know something else cool?”

This made me laugh. If shooting Redi-Wip is cool, what else is cool?!

We sat on the floor in the kitchen and opened a cupboard, whereupon she reached in, all the way to the back, and pulled out a box of saltine crackers and one of those cans of pre-made fudge frosting.

“Put this on ‘ere. Try it.”

Well hot damn, if fudge frosting isn’t good on a cracker!

“Whatcha eatin’” became a joke. We would call each other at work, leaving whispered messages on voice mail: Whatcha eatin’? We would yell at each other through the bathroom door: Hey! Whatcha eatin’?

We’re childish that way.

One day, I was downstairs cleaning the litter box. Exhausted from a day of work and preceding days of cleaning houses, I sat on the floor, hunched over and brain-dead, sifting through the litter box using a large slotted spoon purchased just for such occasions.

Karen walked by me, glanced, kept going – and then stopped, backed up to take a second look.

“Whatcha eatin’?”

I can never look at a slotted spoon without remembering that: the sifting of the cat poop, the look on Karen’s face as she asked me what I was eating…

The simplest memories are the best.

35 comments:

"Greenfingers" said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
"Greenfingers" said...

Some people may find it a weird delicacy!! Not me. I used to have a cat, it was not the sensitive kind though. Where as I would always cry over spilt milk, she wouldn't!! Naughty cat...

darsden said...

Congrats on the Award, you deserve it. I look forward to your post everyday! Love riding the bus with you..(Yes, that brite glare you see is me smiling sorry)

Great sister story, I too lived with my sister for a couple of years after her divorce! We had a blast, she went to nursing school and I worked, but we had so much fun. We are still very close I talk to her almost daily and see her at least once a week. Sisters are so cool!
Have a wonderful weekend :-)

OH, wheres my pie Woman?

FrankandMary said...

That time for a quick one made me miss my ex-bf but I think you meant a story ;-). No, no trainwreck here.
And the simplest memories are the best indeed, esp when they involve whipping cream.

You stopped by my blog a while back & I wanted to return the favor; glad I did. ~Mary

That Baldy Fella said...

Miss Pearl, with this award, you are spoling me! Thankee kindly (once again...)

Siblings should always have in-jokes. Sometimes, my brother and I speak only in sentences which amuse us. (We also live together, along with his other half - he's about to join me in the thrities. Spookily similar - no kids, mind...)

Jodie Kash said...

I don't find you a train wreck in the least. A trolley accident, perhaps, at best.

Jeanne said...

I'll have to try fudge icing on crackers -- sweet and salty!

Pearl said...

Greenfingers, I look forward to dinner at your house. Sounds crunchy!

Darsden, sisters are good fun, aren’t they? And I’m working on the pie!!! Don’t rush me, woman!!
:-)

Mary, I briefly considered working the “quickie” angle! Glad to see you!

That Baldy Fella, you’re welcome! Agreed! We have several jokes that require no introduction, including “Rectum? Damn near killed ‘im!” and singing “two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside”…

Jodie, thank you! I consider myself a smaller wreck as well, more of the gal that tripped in the skyway or forgot her wallet was on the tray and dumped her leftovers AND her wallet in the fast-food garbage…

Jeanne, honestly, it’s surprisingly tasty.

That Baldy Fella said...

Ah, my variation on that joke is always "Poker? I don't even know 'er". Great minds think alike. Or fools seldom differ. One of the two.

naperville mom said...

I go with darsden there. Congrats for the award! The sister story was so evocative:)

Pearl said...

Baldy, "Fools seldom differ". Would you believe I've never heard that before?! I can't wait to use it...

Naperville, we had a good time, which makes for lovely memories.

darsden said...

I don't have a darn thang for you as far as an award...ya got that already..but I have a couple of laughs if you get this way... ;-)

Not The Rockefellers said...

Love that! I don't think I'm gonna look at a slotted spoon that same way either. Kudos to Karen for cracking you up when you needed it the most.

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Whacha Smokin? Although Frosted Saltine DOES have a bit of appeal...

lizspin said...

Well thank you. . . yet again. . . I have a feeling that when people see the Trainwreck Award, they immediately think of me. . .

Pearl said...

darsden, I'm on my way!

Rene, Karen's a good girl. :-)

Cygnus, now that would've been a good question at the time. :-)

Pearl said...

Dar, still on my way to your site, but just got a DELIVERY in the MAIL of CHOCOLATE COVERED CHERRIES and tasty PECAN whats-its of some sort!!
Dar, you darling little weirdo, you. :-) This is the best surprise I've had in absolutely YEARS.
You rock. That's all there is to it. You just rock.
xoxo
Pearl

Pretty Things said...

LOL! What an odd award!!!! But your sense of humor makes it all fun.

darsden said...

Hey I've been called worse ;-) Glad they made it...hopefully Not melted. That is your "real" get well chocolate, not just any chocolate will do for you. Enjoy don't hurt yourself they are rich! Share um if ya want to :-)

darsden said...

ps I made them during dancing with the stars my favorite show! So, that should make you feel even better. I usually don't give that show up for Nobody :-)

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Yup, good old cat poop. Some days are just like that.

Pearl said...

Pretty Things, I thought it was odd as well, but it's an award! Practically a crown! :-) ha ha

Dar, I've had three quick cherries already. :-) Yes, will have to share them. Probably. OK -- maybe. :-)
And no, definitely not melted. We've returned to temperatures below freezing again. I'm against it.

Pearl said...

Mary, cat poop has been a constant in my life. :-)

Kate Coveny Hood said...

This is the second "sister" post I've read today. Makes me jealous - I always wanted a sister. Drunk rollar blading and eating frosting on crackers just isn't the same, solo...

Sweet Cheeks said...

Pearl...You're one of the nicest train wrecks I've met in a long time...

Good for you!

Been there with the slotted spoon....many times.

:)

Vic said...

Thank you, Pearl! You are so good to me. :)

Frosting on a cracker would be good. I like Nutella on tortillas. Is that wrong?

underOvr (aka The U) said...

Hi Pearl,

I read this and thought about my brother Michael and how close we've always been. Even though he still lives in Chicago we regulary talk to each other.

I love how you share these moments and they always affect me the same way Pearl; a fond and memorable good way.

Thanks Pearl,

U

sassysundry said...

I imagine that the chocolate and salt would go great together.

Cat poo, on the other hand . . .

Michelle said...

HAHA great story Pearly-Q!!!

And congrats on your train wreck award!

JBA said...

Ewwww.

Congratulations on your Trainwreckedness. (That's a new word, by me, for you, but only in a good way.)

Again, ewwwwww.

Frogs in my formula said...

You're right when you say that the simplest memories are the best. I love the color brown but am always lamenting to my best friend that I should own clothes in other colors. One day she took me by the shoulders and said, "There's nothing wrong with brown." I don't know why but every time I think of that I laugh out loud.

Kavi said...

Yes of course. Cream !

and you know...that saying...that all the cream...

stays for two minutes on your lips and a life time on your hips !

Well, thats the case with me !

:)

Suzy said...

My sister and I are that way too but dont have a catch phrase. If we're out in public we start speaking french when we want to rag on people. We've accidentally done it around others who speak French and then we run away laughing.

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

eeee!!! Sisters!!!

SweetPeaSurry said...

HAH! That sounds like a fun time. All my sister did was put me in the oven. Or give me a swift (albeit) girly punch in the nose. I love my sis!!!