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Sunday, October 3, 2010

I Know I’ve Seen It Before!

I’m about to confess to something that may change your opinion of me. What I do, in the privacy of my own home, may be something you find unforgivable in the people you live with, something you find annoying in your friends. I have my excuses, as we all do for our bothersome behaviors; but the excuses mean nothing, really, because I understand how maddening I can be.

You know how cable television has the same lousy movie over and over again? Whole months of “The Godfather” or “Pulp Fiction” shown daily?

Well, I watch them. Yep, I watch them on the TV, even with the good bits bleeped out or removed all together.

This drives Willie nuts.

“For cryin’ out loud, Pearl, we have this movie on DVD! Why don’t you just watch it right?”

Because I’m not really watching the movie, Willie! Well, okay, I am kind of watching the movie, but I’m also cleaning the house, doing the dishes, calling people, dancing about uselessly or plotting my next blog post...

After all, what would I do without those lousy commercials? Nothing would get done!

What’s that? Turn off the TV?

That’s just crazy talk.

I can “watch” the hell out of both “Goodfellows” and “Shaun of the Dead”. I run the vacuum, sucking up whole cats’ worth of hair, waving the hose above my head and into corners to rid the room of those unexplainable cob-webby bits that sometimes show up on the ceiling – all without missing any of the movie!

Clever, huh?

There’s the iPod as well, of course, but I enjoy the background muttering of the TV. Honestly, I consider it a weakness and something to be hidden, but I’m feeling confessional today.

And now you know.

I hope we can still be friends.

49 comments:

Not The Rockefellers said...

We can totally be friends, Pearl, bunkmates in the same asylum actually. Yes it would not be uncommon to hear, Moonstruck! Again? around these parts when it is on A&E or ON Demand. Or The Godfather Saga ( you know the one where they squeeze I & II together)

IB said...

My opinion of you has not changed; I still think you're a hoot.

(Between you and me, I've seen Jaws like 1100 times)

Bevie said...

Don't watch regular television much. Nothing there I really want to see. But I put in movies and shows I've purchased and watch them over and over and over and over again. Sometimes I fall asleep.

Just another inmate from another part of the asylum.

Oh, and aren't you just so glad it snowed?

The Jules said...

I'm liking the idea of "Goodfellows". Is that an English film where well-to-do chaps set up a philanthropic organisation to help widows and orphans, whilst solving murders, writing amusing plays and playing charity badminton matches?

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I think we could be housemates, Pearl. I do the same thing, except I don't move. I just watch the show, and drool pools on the pillow.

darsden said...

I would never dare to turn the Godfather. I will also watch Ferris Buellers day off, Drumline, Bring It, Bringing down the house and Overboard anytime they come on, Yes probably seen them each 50 times.
Have you gone in a sugar coma Yet LOL?

Barbara Blundell said...

This takes practise but it can be done.Watch T.V. knit,read and have a cup of coffee and some chocolate on the go all at the same time I've yet to fit in hoovering as well but am working on it.

FrankandMary said...

I don't even own a TV and I get it. The TV is your background noise, your company, your HHHHHHHUUUUUUUUMMMMMMM while you scrub the toilet. I prefer Marilyn Manson, but I get your point.~Mary

Adlibby said...

I HAVE to watch those kind of movies because it's so annoying to have to look up from blogging to see what's going on. ;) So far this weekend, Caddyshack and The Fugitive.

Jodie Kash said...

I have a thing for marathons..."America's Next Top Model", "Jon and Kate Plus Eight Meal Tickets". I think I would dieDIE for a "Facts of Life" all nighter.

Michelle said...

Pearly-Q I do the same exact thing. Do you know how many times I've watched Sex and the CIty on HBO? Too many to count. So yeah I get it!!!

LOVE YOU!!!

kcgirlgeek said...

The only reason your hubby doesn't understand this absolutely simple and effective concept, is because HE never cleans the house, does the dishes, does the laundry, juggles the children, and blogs all at the same time. Pffft....men.

oo7 said...

i use tv to watch sports only...
but you are so right ...it's the same in india...same movies over and over again.

tc

ladyfi said...

Confession is good for the soul. I don't like having the TV on as background company, but both my grandmother and aunt did and found it very comforting.. So - go for it!

Irish Gumbo said...

Of coyrse we can be friends, Pearl! Whew, I thought you were going to say something like "Snuck some of dad's whisky and tied firecrackers to the dog's tail" or "Put pantyhose on my head and pretended to stick up a convenience store" HAHAHAhaa..ha..

Uh, hypothetically of course. Not that I've ever done anything like that...

I do lots of things while wearing the iPod...and let's just leave it at that, my friend! :)

Sweet Cheeks said...

Mr. Cheeks complains very loudly when I watch movies on TV that we have on DVD. I ignore him completely. This is how I get my laundry folded and dinner cooked on a Sunday.

And I LOVE Shaun of the Dead!

Our friendship is firmly cemented dear Pearl!
:)

Lacey said...

I do the exact same thing! My DVD collection hates me for it, but I NEED the commercials to function, haha. It's called multi-tasking, yes?

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

There's nothing wrong with it at all. I've been known to do that a time or hundred myself. I'm far more productive around the house that way.

underOvr (aka The U) said...

OK Pearl,

On one hand we have Jules referrring to Goodfellows as, " a philanthropic organization" and Mary calling TV, "background noise"....hmmmm...what do I say first?

"Goodfellows" is a rite of passage for any African American male ...hell...anyone should enjoy crime, the mafia, murder, apprehension and redemption.

TV is family it's tradition; something shared that is intrinsic to a home filled with children.

Now regarding housework...I prefer to have someone proxy for me. I have no problems with compensation but I have issues with responsibility, because, "housework ain't a passion I've ever experienced". I know there are those that really get into it but The U does not...don't hate the player...hate the game.

U

Emerson Marks said...

This behaviour isn't unusual, Pearl. It's rumoured that England footballer, Wayne Rooney, cannot fall asleep unless there is either a vacuum cleaner or a hair-dryer on.

Scrappy Doo said...

You too? You have to have the TV goinG! or the CD's blaring when ya clean.
Scrappy

lizspin said...

I'm glad you're feeling confessional. . . I like that!!!

I have to confession something worse than that. . . I don't watch movies!

Warty Mammal said...

For me, it's episodes of House backlogged on the TiVo. Grab the baskets of laundry and cue 'em up!

Douglas said...

Oh yeah... Shaun of the Dead... cannot get enough of that movie.

darsden said...

Okay I have never heard of the movie Shaun from the Dead. I guess I need to go to block buster, can somebody let me know if it is a real scary movie first before I go spend a couple of bucks...YEP I am that cheap ;-)

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Does Shaun of the Dead have any cute Irish guys in it?

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

hmmmm.... only if you give me a list of the moveies you constantly watch, along with the commercials you watch them with!!

Douglas said...

Darsden, it's a spoof and it is hilarious and extremely well done.

Prefers, Irish guys? Yes. Cute? Well, I leave that up to you.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

It's the same reason that people have to have the radio on in the car, or some ridiculous talk show on while they're folding laundry. It's half entertainment and half white noise.

For me it's books on tape (or technically recorded books since they're on CD) in the car. If I find myself without any book on tape entertainment on my daily commute, I start to feel panicky. What am I supposed to do without my entertainment/white noise? Think with purpose? And what if I get bored? I start to hyperventilate just thinking about it...

Beth said...

We've been without cable for almost a week and they say that it will be another week or longer before all the cable thingies dry out. It has been misearably quiet at my house.

I miss the background noise.

And I totally watch movies on tv even if I have the DVD. I live for specific parts so I can recite along with the movie. It drives my husband bat shit crazy.

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

I do the same thing and it drives ThatManILove crazy.

nsiyer said...

Pearl, I study with my TV on. So much for multi tasking.

Eskimo Bob said...

Oy - - if you have it on video/DVD; then just put it in - you paid for it. Although you pay for the cable as well - so go ahead and watch it.

Meh - I tried my best to get behind one medium over the other, but I just don't have the gumption today. The sun is shining in the AK - so . . .

SweetPeaSurry said...

It's not a weakness, and you're not the only one. I TOO do housework during commercials. I'm a freaking self-proclaimed TV JUNKIE! How could I NOT have the TV on?

HELP?

blessings!

kavi said...

That gets the Ad-renalin going is it !?! Looks like !

This is awesome. Now i know where your power comes from. Wonder what you would do without TV !?! What would happen to the household chores.

I shudder to think...what if TV became interesting ?

Lisa said...

yep.i still like you xx

Pearl said...

Rene, if there were margaritas involved, we could have everything cleaned during commercials, watch the movie and still be quite silly… Multitasking!

IB, would you believe my brother and I saw Jaws six times in a row when it came out? (But I only saw the head pop out from under the boat ONCE.)

Bevie, me and the TV have a love/hate relationship going… And the snow?! Who ordered that?!!! It’s gone, of course, but the bus stop this morning required my winter coat. Again. I am so tired of that coat…

The Jules, why yes it is!
The soundtrack, money, drugs and duplicity of the characters is fascinating to me.

Mary, as long as I’m allowed to clean around you, we’re good.

Darsden, I ate about a dozen of your chocolate-covered cherries (and that sounds like a dirty joke, doesn’t it? But we’ll leave it lie!) Sunday. I’ll have to go pants-shopping soon if I want to continue to eat them and still wear pants….

Barbara, ah, yes, I forgot about the mending! You really CAN get a lot done while the TV’s on. Willie doesn’t understand why I’m not watching the movie; but I don’t want to pay attention to the TV, I want the TV to be the sometimes-amusing bit of furniture in the room and that’s all…

Mary, I think that may be it. It’s white noise. With bits of violence and sex.
I’m an American stereotype, aren’t I?

Adlibby, I’ll see your Caddyshack and raise you a Cops marathon…

Jodie, I once watched four whole seasons – in a row – of Sex and The City (and well after it was off the air). Didn’t do anything else. That was following the last serious hangover, almost three years ago now…

Michelle, that’s funny! I’m still watching Sex and the City – and Seinfeld. Never watched them when they were on the air and now I think I’ve seen them all!

Kcgirlgeek, I think you’re on to something. Willie does a lot around the house but it tends to be in the basement or the garage or the yard. I do the bulk on the “inside” work.

Oo7, my husband uses it primarily for sports as well. Me, I got sucked into the TV probably 10 years ago and can’t figure out how to get out of it without turning it off. Ha ha!

Ladyfi, it’s something of a dirty secret, somehow, the reliance on the TV. Funny thing is that I’m prone to taking vacations that don’t include TVs/radios/phones, things of that nature, just big piles of books.

Irish, you amuse me and cause me concern at the same time. (And I’m glad to see you around more often! Have stopped by your blog here and there, just to catch up, but don’t always leave comments…)

Sweet Cheeks, Shaun of the Dead was just a good movie: a little sad, a little scary, a lot of humor. Plus that adorable way they talk over there. HA!
And honestly, the TV was MADE for chores like folding.

Lacey, exactly! If there weren’t commercials, when in the world would I go to the bathroom?!

Blogging Mama Andrea, I’m far more productive with the TV, too. It’s as I can’t pay attention unless everything is swirling around me…

U, I did not know that about Goodfellows, it being a rite of passage for African American males! I see by the t-shirts that Scarface is, though – and there’s another dirty secret of mine. Loved that movie – and yet it’s not all that well-written. Why do I love the underbelly of society? Hmmm. Blog topic?
As for you not doing the housework, paying to have it done is just as good. The end-game is a tidy, clean home. You paying for it is helping someone else pay their bills!

Emerson Marks, really? Must’ve grown up in a chaotic household, huh?! I have a white-noise machine on when I sleep. Helps drown out any little noises from the first floor renters…

Scrappy Doo, it’s all part of the process, isn’t it?

Lizspin, honestly I’m not good at the new movies. I’m too busy re-watching the edited, bleeped-out old ones on TV!

Warty Mammal, we all have our secrets!

Douglas, Shaun of the Dead is among my goofy favorites.

Darsden, Shaun of the Dead has scary moments, in a way. It’s also funny, a love story (male/female and friend/friend), and there are even a couple sad moments. If you have any issues understanding an English accent, turn the subtitles on because it’s worth it. (It’s not hard to understand, not like some movies, but why miss ANY of it if you don’t have to?)

Prefers Her Fantasy Life, I don’t recall if any of them are Irish. I thought Declan (in the movie) was Irish, but it’s easy to fool me…

Roshni, well Monday night I’ll be watching “Intervention”, whereby I watch people with addictions, how they got that way and whether or not they’ll accept and go through treatment.
Willie doesn’t appreciate this show, thinks it’s about viewing these people’s issues as “entertainment”, but it’s not that. It’s the human condition that fascinates me, and I always root for the person to get better, even if I don’t find them likeable…

Kate, I think if my commute were more than 20 minutes on a bus I’d probably do the books-on-tape thing…

Beth, I went to your blog and am very sorry to see the devastation the flood has brought to your friend and your community. The quietness of being without cable, I would think, would make it that much more somber…

Janie, I knew I wasn’t alone!!

Nsiyer, I do the same. I actually blog and write with it on as well (but turned down).

Eskimo Bob, sun shining in Alaska, early Spring. You guys must be absolutely nuts with the excitement. Seriously! We’re supposed to hit a not-too-windy-50 by Thursday or so and we are planning to grill…

SweetPea Surry, I figure as long as all my “work” gets done – and I enjoy cleaning, actually – that there’s no harm and no foul. I’m an adult, right?!

Kavi, ad-renalin. I like that!
And if TV became interesting? It is, on rare occasion. If it were actually to become MOSTly interesting, I would become afraid, because clearly things are afoot…

Lisa, good. I’m glad you still like me!

darsden said...

Douglas thank you for telling me about the movie!

Pearl thankyou too for telling me about the movie and my ... oh hell leaving it alone ;-0
hope you didn't hurt yourself too bad, hope you shared too!!!

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

Oh goodness - you and my husband you are two peas in a pod! But he does watch them on DVD at least, but he does watch them over and over and over. We have seen every Harry Potter and Godfather movie at least 30 to 40 times, plus Ben Hur, a League of their Own, and a dozen or so other movies, makes me insane.

But that's OK, we can still be friends. At least you didn't drop a bombshell on me like one of my other friends. She and her husband like to run around their house in the buff - all the time. Even in front of their teenaged sons. I about died on the spot! There is such a thing as TOO MUCH INFORMATION! I don't think I will ever go over to her house and if I do, I will NEVER sit down anywhere!

CatLadyLarew said...

The whole point of watching reruns on television is so you can do other stuff and not feel like you're missing the plot.

powdergirl said...

I was like " Holy crap, look at all these comments within an hour of posting!"
And then I clued in : )

I like "Destroyed in Seconds", it somehow just speaks to me. Maybe one day they'll marathon that, and then maybe I'll do some laundry or something. Nah.

Jocelyn said...

So if you didn't have cats, you'd never have seen Sean Penn as Spicolli for the twelfth time?

Dude.

kathryn said...

Well, I'm appalled. APPALLED, I say! I'd no idea....and...and....if I'd known this about you, maybe I would have invested in some microwave popcorn for your 600th viewing of When Harry Met Sally.

I know just what you mean about those commercials...they're the DV-R equivalent to the pause button. I never stay in the room and actually *watch* them. Gee, I hope the advertisers don't mind...

Madame DeFarge said...

Not only can we be friends, but we should be roommates. My husband reminds me constantly about the HD versions of the things I watch. Like that makes any difference. There's the comfort of a guilty pleasure in watching them.

Roses said...

As I've only got one functioning brain cell at the moment, multi-tasking is out for me. So it's TV or chores.

But yes, we can still be friends. If you insist.

:-)

EcoGrrl said...

dude, I do the same thing, even when I *own* the movie...sometimes it's just to figure out what they've cut out...or better yet, how they change the curse words - i think how they did The Breakfast Club was brilliant (and others like it - you know how they say FUCK and the strange little voice utters 'darn!' as you watch in dismay)..

Sweet Cheeks said...

I love re-runs!

...you clever girl~
=]
xoxoxo

Tempo said...

Oh, thats just SICK! My youngest is just like you... by the time she finally left home I was SO sick of reruns that Ive hardly watched the TV since (she left home 8yrs ago) I kid you not.. Poor Willie, I feel for him!

Flea said...

So this is the key to cleaning my house? Turning on the TV? Hm. Something to consider ...