What once ensured that I sat at a table next to the teacher is now posted, Monday through Friday.
I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!
My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.
My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
It's Probably Just As Hard to Name A Puppy
Willie couldn’t resist the urge to get a new goldfish.
I think Erin’s puppy (as of this writing, un-named) made him do it. (See picture of her adorable puppy.)
He brought it home in a clear plastic bag, plopping it into the tank. (A new fish, not a King Charles Spaniel.)
“Her name’s Jan.”
He paused. “Wait. No. Linus.”
The fishes' names keep changing. As of noon today, there was Yin, Yang, Big Willie, James Earl, and Lulu.
And now Jan/Wanda/Linus.
He’s also added a third decorative rock, two plastic bonsai-looking things, and one of those side-sucking prehistoric fish, tiny now but guaranteed to be, eventually, the biggest thing in the tank.
This is not my first time with a tank. In a previous life, there was a 55 in the living room, alternately housing various cyclids, a doomed arrowana, even a suicidal crab at one time, a foolish creature who climbed to the top of the decorative rocks to wave in imaginary aircraft, despite the Dempsey who routinely fish-handled him.
We only found his large claw, his wavin’ claw.
But this is a 20-gallon, now holding six fancy-looking goldfish, three of them red and white, one solidly gold, one black, and one chocolate-y brown.
Oh, and Waldo, the fish that sucks the sides.
Willie is staring at the tank thoughtfully. His elbow is on his knee, his chin in his hand, when he suddenly straightens his back, slaps his hand on his knee, and stands.
“Comet,” he blurts. “We’ll call her Comet.”
Willie. He Knows What The Fish Want To Be Named.
On Another Note…
Received the “Five Award” from a Warty Mammal. Yes, the Warty Mammal, over at http://annecdotally.blogspot.com/. It's over to the right there, the unmade-bed-looking animal with the coffee cup.
The Five Award is passed to the blogs you check first thing, and I would like pass it along to the following: