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Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I Seem To Remember Having a Really Good Time

The funny part is that of course I found* my nylons. I mean, pantyhose just don’t leave on their own, ya know what I mean?

But I’m ahead of myself.

Saturday night was the 10th annual SNOball, aka the Sheridan Neighborhood Organization’s annual ball, a chance to dress up and be somebody.

Willie and I, Kathy and Kurt and Jeff and Amy and James and Becky and RD and Stephanie and Lisa and John – we all looked and smelled great.

I have pictures; and as soon as I find the cords to download the lousy three pics I took before I ran out of so-called “memory”, I will post them on the sidebar.

Until then, you'll just have to trust me.

And speaking of memory… Was it the hundreds of coats? Was it the distraction of entertainment? Was it the multiple conversations, the introductions?

Perhaps it was the beer?

Just what makes remembering the details of a party so difficult?

You know what I mean, right? You may remember what you believe to be everything about a night but like Mystery Bruises, there are sometimes details that escape you.

For example, I remember running outside of the Ritz Theater (temperature roughly 8 degrees Fahrenheit) to get from the Silent Auction area to the smoking area so as to bypass running on the stage while a band was performing. I remember Kathy and I, in our fancy little dresses, hugging each other, our high heels clicking on the stunningly cold sidewalk.

What I do not remember is where the match box of those hard little mints came from. The front is emblazoned with the words “When You’re Ready to Quit, We’re Here to Support You”. On the back is a picture of two exquisitely muscled men in tiny sequined shorts and bikini tops, one dipping the other deeply in an elaborate dance move.

You’d think I’d remember picking up something like that.

I also remember a detailed conversation with Kathy regarding the fact that the dress she was wearing had been part of our joint Halloween costume three years earlier, the one in which she was Patsy and I was Edina of the show Absolutely Fabulous. (Picture a night of us drinking from a Champagne bottle and calling each other “sweetie baby”.)

What I do not remember is offering to trade my shoes for beer (but I have it on good authority).

And I absolutely do remember digging through hundreds of coats on hangers looking for a “black wool jacket with a black scarf in the sleeve – I’m sorry I can’t find my ticket…”

Go ahead. Guess how many black wool jackets with a black scarf stuffed in the sleeve there are in Minnesota.

Which brings me to today’s mystery: after being dropped at home by Lisa at midnight (so that I’d be ready to get up for work Sunday morning), my dress folded and over a chair, my shoes conspiring in their corner with the other shoes – where were my pantyhose?

And yes, I am fully aware of how that sounds.

In the meantime, Liza Bean Bitey (of the Minneapolis Biteys) is in the kitchen and muttering something about bird seed and suet.

You don’t suppose the fuzzy little ingrate is making a birdfeeder out of a pantyhose leg, do you?

* A day after writing this post, I found them under my bed, hobnobbing with my summer clothes.

Pfffft. Pantyhose.


mbuna53 said...

"Pfffft. Pantyhose."

That line cracked me up.

That's why I don't wear pantyhose an more.

darsden said...

Too Funny, you sure do pick up or miss place a lot of items, you seem to Never remember how..hummm! I see a pattern starting here Pearl. (uhmmm I passed you that match box ;-) me wants you round long timme!
If I had to wear pantyhose.. I woudn't be able to breathe.

Jodie Kash said...

Shorts and bikini tops????

Pearl said...

mbuna, glad to amuse, and picturing you in pantyhose. Hmmm.

darsden, oh, I'll be around! And yes, I can be forgetful! Some stuff I never forget, but other stuff goes in one ear and out the other!

jodie, oh, yes. Sequined tiny shorts and sequined bikini tops. I took a second look at it this morning and it's from the GLBT folks, plenty of whom are in the theater of course and so that's where I got it. Can't help but wonder if one of my friends slipped it into my purse just to mess with me!

Joanie said...

It sounds like your evening was a raging success!!

CSY said...

Pantyhose? Yeah - they're sneaky little buggers! I hate them, that's why I don't wear them...well, that and the fact that I live in FLORIDA where its freaking HAWT all the time! Except for the last few weeks...WTF?!?!?! Hello, Mother Nature? Florida is suppose to be hot...not cold!

Pearl said...

Joanie, as they say, a good time was had by all. :-)

CSY, oh I hear you on that. Pantyhose in the summer (and it DO get hot in MN) is a big humid no-no; but they actually keep you warmer in the winter!

Kavi said...

You are going to have a host of people look up the sidebar.

Atleast, you have one here !


Frank said...

Trying to trade your shoes for beer!!! That’s hilarious!!! I once woke up with tokens and a sword after a renaissance fair. Note: you might want to go easy on the stuff called, “Skull Splitter.”

Michelle said...

I look like a freak in panty hose so they never adorn my legs. EVER!!!

Plus they are itchy!!!

Want a beer Pearly-Q?

Eskimo Bob said...

It's been my experience - the better the time is the less you actually remember about it. Oh you remember that it kicked ass - but don't ask for specifics. Unless it's the sound of heels on cold concrete.

Susan said...

Just wait for menopause - you won't need or want pantyhose even when it's 8 degrees outside. Of course, you probably won't feel like partying after 8 pm anyway. Sounds like a fun time!

Vic said...

My life is full of those little mystery bruises! (the metaphorical ones and the real ones).
I hate pantyhose. They're always too long and end up under my armpits.

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

I'm so stunned.... it sounded like you had a GREAT night and you go and ruin it by coming home and putting your clothes away properly!! Come on!!

Pearl said...

Kavi, the pics will be interesting as I have changed the color of my hair!

Frank, “Skull Splitter” is what I have the next day, more and more often… Ahhhh. I never used to get hangovers.

Michelle, I’ve seen your legs and there’s no reason for you to wear them!

Eskimo Bob, honestly, even when I’ve not been drinking, it’s hard to describe a party. It’s just a merry-go-round of people you like and who (hopefully!) like you…

Susan, menopause! Do I have to?!! :-)

Vic, hear, hear. I get fewer of the physical bruises than I used to (and I think the yoga is somehow responsible for that) but the psychic bruises? I suspect there are areas of my psyche that are a lovely yellow-purple color…

Pearl said...

Roshni, as the kids are saying: I know, right?!
It's too nice a dress to throw on the floor! But those shoes? They are going to a thrift store!

Jodie Kash said...

Oh just remembered something I'd forgot. Years ago, after a night of clubbing, I awoke and found my fingernail gone. Not a Lee Press-On, mind you. MY biological nail. Most all of it, down and beyond the quick.

Never did find it.

DevilsHeaven said...

I think we need to see a picture of that mint box! Sounds interesting! Your nights out always sound like so much fun!

Mary Moore said...

Just don't bother with the hose next time. Just use some of that tanning lotion instead.

And yes, a pic of the mint box would be nice. Please and thanks.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Too funny. Sounds like a great bash even though you can't remember it :)

Pearl said...

Oooh, Jodie! A nail?! As I’ve said before, good thing there was booze involved or that woulda hurt!!

DevilsHeaven, you got it!

Mary Moore, what, are you and DevilsHeaven in the same room?! I will get a pic.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

BTW you might want to look into the song "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off" by Joe Nichols. Maybe you'll pick up some tips! hehe

Ian Lidster said...

So glad you found them. Because I would have seconded your question as to 'where' they were, otherwise, as well as 'why' they weren't with you.
I must say I absolutely love your blog.

Jeanne said...

When you arrived at work the next day, were you still wearing the clothes from the night before? Because that's usually what happens then the pantyhose go missing.

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Wow.. in my barter book:



Um, hold on;
"Pearl, did I leave my conversions book in that black-scarved jacket pokket?!?"


Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Susan? Hi! I'm suddenly seeking...

Anonymous said...

I definitely suspect Liza Bean. She's been up to no good with the new fish...I'll bet she was going to fashion herself a nice little net out of your pantyhose...

I'll bet Dolly G. Squeakers (of the Humane Society Squeakers) knows...perhaps she'll talk for a treat...


Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Hey Jodi-- you were Clubbed, for goodness sake! Count a nail as all that was unaccounted for as a blessing!

Gadjo Dilo said...

Isn't pantyhose too flimsy in such a climate? I'd assumed you'd all be wearing polar bear-skin breeches, with the claws still attached for if you meet another polar bear.

Pearl said...

Blogging Mama Andrea, haven’t heard the song, but I’m already loving the title!

Ian, I can keep a grip on myself, drunk-wise. I’m far more apt to stay up all night with you solving the world’s problems (ha ha) than I am to take my clothes off – but hey! Maybe that’s one of the world’s problems, huh? That we’re not taking our clothes off often enough? There’s a thought!
Oh, and I drop by your site as well. Thoroughly enjoy your writing!

Jeanne, ha! As a teenager or in my 20s, maybe!!

Cygnus, oh, I’m quite, hmm, what’s the word? Cheeky? when I’ve had a couple. Wait, no. I’m cheeky when I’m sober, too. Hmmm.
And not sure what nylons equals, but it IS something better than beer, I assure you!

Sweet Cheeks, why are you always in my head?! You know damn well that cat’s up to something!!

Gadjo Dilo, oh, but we’re a healthy lot up here! (And my mukluks were at the cleaners.)