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Saturday, March 7, 2009

Grunting Makes Everything Easier

I was hoisting my body out of a chair the other day…


You know how it is? When you’re terribly tired, or you’re worn out from something, your muscles grumbling about how you don’t take them out for months and then you expect some sort of performance and now we’re all sore and achy, thank you very much?


And that got me thinking.

Today’s topic de jour for today – redundancy being a topic for another time – is grunting.

Not enough is being said about grunting; and frankly, I’m appalled. Look at all grunting has given us.

1. It’s a ridiculously descriptive word, an Archie Bunkeresque word that pretty much declares itself without any help from you.
2. Look at it. Grunt. If you had to come up with a word to describe the act of grunting, it practically throws itself at you.
3. It’s very difficult to misspell the word “grunt”. There’s just no other way to spell it, and I like that in a word.
4. It’s also, at least on the east coast of the U.S., a crumbly-topping-and-fruit cake dealio. Don’t let the name fool you. Trust me. Order the Blueberry Grunt.

I could go on – and probably will! I’m heading out to Janis’ place to paint her duplex and drink her wine; and I’ll bet I’ll think of more to say on the topic of grunting once I’ve had a glass or two.

Ha ha! Look out, Janis!

And there you have it, a perfectly Saturday post.

Minimum effort.

Maximum grunting.


ICKY said...

Its true !!
Grunting DOES make things easier !!

IB said...

When I was a kid "grunt" was also the word for the brown marks one might find in one's underwear.

just thought you should know.

Happy weekend, Pearl!

Anonymous said...

Grunting is the best because it's the universal language of caveman...

So many words conveyed with with just a little grunting....


underOvr (aka The U) said...

Good morning Pearl,

I've been sunning myself down Nicaragua-way (the 10-inches of snow was enough motivation to get out of Dodge) and I just read about you and Banfill-Locke; my congratulations!

I'm not even sure now how I came upon your blog. I think drinking shots for a week tends to cloud one's memory. What was I saying? Right...I'm glad I found your blog last month and find your writing to be quite entertaining.

Congratulations Pearl!


Stephen Rader said...

I've lived alone for so long that I don't even realize that I'm grunting, which is embarrassing.

Not as embarrassing as talking to myself. That also comes from living alone for too many years. Not just talking to myself but bitching and complaining about others to myself (i.e. "If that cabbie honks his horn one more time, I'm gonna ram it right up his pie hole! With NO LUBE!"). I always forget that other people can hear me when I yell in exasperation at the person taking up two seats on the bus (one for them and one for their bag).

Grunting, talking to myself, shouting like a freak in public without realizing it... It's a mystery that I'm single, isn't it? :)

adlibby said...

Ugggggghhh! ;)

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

true...its a very noncommital expression and is satisfactory when some one asks you how her new hairstyle looks!

Anonymous said...

And just remember...our venerable U.S. Marines are known as grunts...I have even been known to make a language out of grunting. Somewhat akin to what Tim the Toolman does...you know "uuuhh?" or "UuUuh!" its on in the inflection!

Not The Rockefellers said...

And one more thing. James Brown made a living out of making them.

Elevating "the grunt" to an art form.

Other famous grunters

Monica Seles
Maria Sharapova
Sammy Hagar
Ann Wilson (from Heart)

this is just a short list...

Peace - Rene

Ian Lidster said...

I look forward to your further comments on grunt, a word that is indeed underrated. I was going to mention the US Marines, but somebody beat me to it. And there is also a marine fish known as teh grunt. And I refuse to get into any scatolgoical musings on the word.

Dr Zibbs said...

My lab is 9 now and he grunts everytime he lies down.

The Jules said...

Deliberate grunting is useful if you want to look like you're making an effort, but aren't actually expending any energy.

Like when helping an old lady who's fallen in the street and needs a hand getting up.

Works every time.

Michelle said...

Pearly-Q I grunt A LOT!!!

Nuff said!!!

Jeanne said...


The Retired One said...

I used to hear nothing but grunts from my kids each morning. They are not morning people. Just mono-syllable grunts until noon.
Of course I am a Chatty-Kathy in the mornings, which makes them grunt even more.

Mary Moore said...

Oh man, you should have heard the grunting when I was delivering the babies. Grunting definitely helps...well, at least it did the second time around. The first time, screaming did the trick.

Cygnus MacLlyr said...


Pearl said...

Icky, what’d I say?! Just one of the many things I’m enjoying about aging!!

IB, ewwwwww! How could I have not known that?!

Sweet Cheeks, UH!

underOVR, WHAT?!! Nicaragua?! I’m always so amazed by people who GO somewhere. Is it lovely?
I’m glad you come back to me. I stop in on you also and enjoy what you say and how you say it.

Stephen, what?! You’re still single and yet you’ve got all that talking to yourself and grunting going on? :-) You're in the wrong city! Come to Minneapolis -- grunting is perfectly acceptable as long as you're smiling.
I just love how you write. Even your comments. Delightful.

Adlibby, I hear ya, baby!

Roshni, it’s very basic, isn’t it? Works everywhere, like nodding or smiling.

Jackba, I know exactly what you’re saying. And dammit, the Marines are grunts!! I should’ve remembered that – my nephew Kyle is a Marine. 29 Palms now after his first tour in Iraq.
Oh, dammit. You know what? I’M a grunt at work!!! As in low on the totem pole?!

Rene, good!! Oooh! How about John Cougar Mellencamp?

Ian, I appreciate your nod to discretion in not mention the lower bodily functions.
And “yes” on the Marines. I’m irritated that I missed that – then again, I missed a lot! Well, that’s the death-lure of the blog – sometimes you need to get it out there in a limited amount of time and get lazy.
Thank you for coming by! Love your stuff.

Jules, why, that is just devious.
You’re not devious, are you?

Kavi said...

Have you played tennis..with Monica Seles !?!


Ann's Rants said...

And it is SUCH a sign of aging. I remember feeling mystified as a child by all the grunting adults emitted...

Pearl said...

Kavi, I have no tennis skills whatsoever!

Ann, I know exactly what you mean. :-)

La Belette Rouge said...

I like to mix in an occasional sigh when not grunting.

underOvr (aka The U) said...


I fly back to the states tomorrow but have made a life-changing decision to move here.

You are so very kind to say some complimentary things to me. I'm trying to write and working to develop some skills; in the months since I began blogging, I've discovered a passion and love for written expression.

Hasta luego,


fingers said...

OK, whatever you do...don't read this post out in front of the Banfill-Locke crowd...:)

nsiyer said...

I enjoyed the 'grunting' bit. All of us do that and give off different messages. Keep writing.