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Thursday, February 12, 2009

You Mind If I Get A Hit of That?

Having lived successfully through a turbulent childhood, the 80s/90s/and yesterday, a motorcycle “club” (never say “gang”), and motherhood, I can safely say that I am not an addictive personality.

You’ll have to take my word for it.

That said, however, I’m going to have to take a long lunch today and run to Target. I may not be back as soon as you think I should, but please don’t worry. You’ll have to trust me on this. Something’s come up, something you don’t know about me, and something that I cannot hide from you for too much longer.

Maybe I should just tell you now.

You see, I’ve forgotten my lipstick.

Go ahead. Scoff. Shoot, if it wasn’t me, I’d be scoffing with you! But it is me, and I feel my pain.

Shhhhhh. Listen. Do you hear that? That’s the sound of my lips chapping.

My mother was a lipstick kind of gal. Not in a gaudy way – never! That would not do. But a quick trip to the grocery store? “Just a little color…” she’d mutter while applying her lipstick, trailing off as she peered earnestly into the mirror. A brush through the hair, a “little color” and she was gone, looking good and getting it done.

One got the feeling, watching her, that that “little color” was done not for her but for others.

Me?

Hardly!

While it is true that I have a healthy ego (the outward signs actually masking the fear that everyone else is attending some fabulous party that I’ve not been invited to for reasons known only to them) and often feel that people are looking at me in silent judgment, the lipstick is not necessarily to add a dash of color for others on this bleak and wool-wrapped February day.

I apply lipstick, all day, several times a day, because I like it. I’m just used to having it!

I’m just used to it! That’s all! OK? I’m just used to it! I like it! I mean, I could stop but it doesn’t affect my life or anything! It’s not like I’m leaving work just to –

Oooooh.

41 comments:

darsden said...

OH my goodness that is exactly what my mom would and still says. She can be digging in the garden all day. Decide she needs something right now to finish. But absolutely refuses to go anywhere with out her lips on. (I'm looking like they won't even notice you don't have it on trust me...I get BUT I will know) I don't poke KK about her makeup anymore. I myself use it when I get all did up or having to take pictures. But I love my (newlyfound) Aquafina chapstick it goes on and is refreshing-ly cool feeling. I'd give you a hit, but I don't know if you are old enough yet. Besides I don't like to share ;-)

darsden said...

Two days in a row I think I am finally getting this stalking down now! LOL Have a fabulous day Pearl.

Dr Zibbs said...

I have a friend that has it hidden behind picture frame all over her house.

Brother Tobias said...

I'm guessing lippy would be your one chosen luxury on a desert island, then?

Bella@That damn expat said...

I won't judge you because on the two occasions that I forgot to put mascara on I ran to the store to buy it.

It's a routine.

MeadowLark said...

Not lipstick, but I cannot sleep without chapstick. We buy it in multi-packs and keep it all around the house and Husband even makes sure he keeps some with him so we don't have to stop when we go someplace and buy it if I forgot.

I should switch to lipstick, I'd look better.

Ulyana said...

wow, I love your blog!

The Retired One said...

Ohhh..you are my soulmate. I did a blog called 'Get me a Trowel' a while back about this same thing. It definitely makes you feel whole to have it on. Besides, I get SICK of people asking me if I am sick if I don't have it on!

Aria said...

Medic! Medic!!! Can We Get A Medic?!? Pearl is missing her lipstic!!! MEDIC!!!

jackba said...

" I can feel my lips chapping" LMAO I love that line..."I can feel my wrinkles deepening...as we speak."

QUICK! Break out the lotion!

Under the Influence said...

I am with ya! I wrote about lipstick, among other things, myself today.

Susan said...

We can all use a little color. I'm going back to the fabulous party I'm having. I just ducked in here to put on lipstick and read your blog.

Michelle said...

Pearly-Q would you believe i've never worn lipsticks!!!

And why is it called lipstick anyway??? Shouldn't it be called lipcolor??? Or lipred or liporange???

That way you would know exactly what color you are wearing at any given moment!!!

You are gorgeous either way, it doesn't matter to me what you wear as long as you blog everyday so i can come here and giggle or not!!!!

Love you!!!!

Rachel Tamed said...

To me, lipstick is not even about the look anymore. I am a bonafide addict. I need it like crack. The moment I realize that I have no lipstick/chapstick/gloss/whatever, I go into panic mode, and immediately begin a slow and excruciating process of licking my lips incessantly until they double in size and turn bright red.

I wonder if there is any treatment for this sort of withdrawal?

Kavi said...

Ok. So its about the lipstick ! Ok ! That post about the mirror speaking...it was about the lipstick..hmm !!

Ok..

but absence from work...? Hmm well, now we are talking !

Douglas said...

I never wear the stuff. Is it flavored?

That Baldy Fella said...

There's nothing wrong with an addictive personality - he says, looking around at the many, many shelves groaning with books, DVDs and comics and possibly beginning to experience a "moment of clarity"....

Pearl said...

Darsden, honestly I do hear really good things about the Aquafina. (And yes, you’re getting good at lurking not-so-subtly in the shadows!) :-)

Dr. Zibbs, I think I know her!

Brother Tobias, the lipstick and Roget’s Thesaurus.

Bella, I completely understand.

Meadowlark, my son had a Chapstick habit.

Ulyana, thank you!

Retired One, yes, I can appear a bit worn out. A little blush, a little lipstick! Voila!

Aria, that’s how I feel in some of the dressing rooms in the stores around here. You’d think they’d put a nice pink lightbulb in, wouldn’t you?

Jackba, I actually had to use GoldBond Medicated Lotion last night! Do you know this stuff? Really works but smells like medicine.

Under The Influence, I will be over to your blog shortly! Something about February makes all us winter-types think about our poor skin…

Susan, I know you’re teasing me but WHO’S ALL THERE?!

Michelle, hmmm. I’d never thought about the lip stick. I used to worry about the tooth paste, but I think I’m over that now. No. Wait. Dammit, Michelle! And I’m glad you drop by so often because I love you, too!

Rachel Tamed, I know exactly what you’re talking about. Normal-colored lips now seem sickly, don’t they?

Kavi, but what can I do?! Luckily, Target (store) is just three city blocks away and all connected by skyway. I’m okay now, but it was touch-and-go for a while!

Douglas, I personally do not do the flavored lipsticks as that is just tres juvenile. I have been known to put a gloss over a lipstick, though, just for that little punch of shine.

That Baldy Fella, ah, you’ve been to my home, eh? Over 600 LPs, a thousand or so CDs, 10 eight-tracks… I managed to sell off most of my books a couple years ago, but the music covers whole walls. I’m sorry to hear that you are afflicted, but just know: You are not alone.

a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

i love "hooker" red lipstick. and wear it to church. alot. it goes great with confession and the "bless me father for i have sinned" conversation.....

Braja said...

Swipe some on for me, honey.

Oh wait. I already got it :)

My mum? Exactly the same :)

Pearl said...

Mouthy Irish, I love red as well. Adds spice to everything, including church.

Braja, I knew it! I knew you were a lipstick kinda gal!

fingers said...

Thank you, Pearl for allowing us to take this highly informative tour through the mansions of your mind...

SweetPeaSurry said...

I nearly always forget to put lipstick in my pocketbook. I DO however, NEVER forget the blistex or my new fave blistex deep renewal.

It kind of tastes funny though. :)

SweetPeaSurry said...

Oh ... I should add, I never leave the house without my eyebrows penciled in ... I'm CRAYZEE like that!

Leah said...

Wait, I used to be the girl who always had a lovely bit of lipstick on. This has convinced me--I need to be that girl once again.

Pearl said...

Fingers, it gets lonely in here, by myself…

SweetPea, I have three purses in rotation for any given season, and there’s a lipstick in each one of them!

Leah, the first step is recognizing that there’s a problem.
:-)

Ducking Little said...

But clearly that's nothing to do with addiction, it is to do with a physical *need*. Like eating. You don't say people are addicted to food because they eat 3 times a day now do you..

naperville mom said...

One of these days we need to sing an ode to the lipstick! Oh, what'd we do without you?

Pearl said...

Duckling Little, you're perfectly and exactly right.

Naperville Mom, there should be poems dedicated to manner of cosmetics!

Irish Gumbo said...

Oh, WHEW! For a second there I thought you were going to say something like "crystal meth" or "the chronic"!

Good on you, Pearl. And now I don't feel so bad about my lipstick addiction...(oops, darnit)

Pearl said...

Irish Gumbo, I smell a blog coming!

De Campo said...

You were in a motorcycle club?

99% of lipstick wearers are harmless and use moderation in their application. Then there’s that 1%....

Eskimo Bob said...

What's the difference between a pittstick and a hockey bull? Wait - let me ge. . . uhh. . . hold on a sec.

You know. . . no. . .

Geez.

(sigh)

You fool me once shame on. . .

Pig? no no no. . .

{exhales sharply}

For the love of . . .

Ahhh - Cockypoo poo Kelly Clarkson!

Cinnamon said...

I can't get my favourite lippy anymore, it has gone out of production :(

Philip van Bergen said...

can't be as bad as leaving your glasses at home.

Lisa said...

excellent post.....
lisa x

Irish Gumbo said...

Pearl: Smell a blog coming? Especially if it'd "chronic"...;)

Ribbon said...

Too funny! I like it :-)

My Mum was a lipstick girl too.

I had a brief encounter with it during the 80's.........mostly just a memory now.

best wishes

Jenny said...

I really admire your dedication. Now that I'm retired my make up is gathering dust. Guaranteed if I dash out to the supermarket with barely combed hair I meet someone I know who has bothered to put on their lipstick. I have a friend who is also retired, she changes her earrings about 3 times a day even when she stays home. Makes me feel like a slut.

Pearl said...

De Campo, I assure you that I use my lipstick moderately. That whole caking-at-the-corners is not my thing.
And motorcycle club? Yes, I did.

Eskimo Bob, I was with you until the Kelly Clarkson reference, whom I only know as an American Idol contestant. (I’ve never watched the show, but I do know about it…)

Cinnamon, I hate when they do that. With all the changes in the world, can’t they leave our lip color alone?!

Phillip van Berghen, but my leaving my glasses at home will never happen, as they go on the second I get out of bed…

Lisa, hi! Thank you!

Irish Gumbo, I write those under another name. :-)

Ribbon, hi! Thank you!

Jenny, I have nothing against the “bare face” look. As a rather sallow faced, freckly kind of gal, I hope to distract clerks and passersby from them with my lip color. It’s a silly thing, but it keeps me going. :-)

Eskimo Bob said...

Silly Pearl -

It was actually a hybrid-reference to the voice manipulation scene from "Bruce Almighty" and the chest waxing scene from "The 40 Year-Old Virgin" with the then underexposed Steve Carell.