I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Impending Happiness; or Is That You, Johnny?

Are you sitting down? Because, frankly, this is more than I can handle, and I’m thinking, yikes! if you’re anything like me, this kind of excitement could cause all kinds of pitching and flailing about; and I cannot be responsible, people, for your medical bills.

But what causes this kind of excitement? What can send me running around the house, kitties at my heels, babbling into my cell phone, my eyes spinning counter-clockwise with happiness?

Are ya ready?

VACATION.

Or, as y’all say over there, HOLIDAY!

That’s right, my friends. Starting tomorrow, from Monday to Thursday, I will be, as the wily Canucks say, “oot and aboot”. I’ve found a little bed and breakfast a little more than an hour north of home. Quaint furnishings, wireless internet access, a fireplace and a hot tub and it’s all mine, mine, mine!

There will still be posts, but I do worry about the internet, so if I don’t answer comments, now you know why…

But why would I do this? Why would a perfectly normal person like myself (I heard that, Braja!) run away? Is it the long arm of the law finally grasping at my collar? Is it the lure of the nearby casino? Is it the once-a-year tryst with Johnny Depp?

No, no, and really, I can’t say. *blush*

I am, like every other blogger, working on a book. Subject? But of course! It’s all sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll – in other words a grand contribution to literature.

I also have a public reading coming up in March, so there’ll be all that standing in front of the mirror reading to myself/looking like an ass to be done.

Really. My schedule is quite full.

I’ll miss you. I promise not to get drunk and drown in the hot tub if you’ll promise to be here when I come back.

Promise?

31 comments:

Not The Rockefellers said...

Have a great vacay! Use protection and no drunk dialing. Drunk blogging is perfectly acceptable though.

Peace - Rene

And I want a signed copy of you masterpiece.
And thank me in the credits in a cryptic inside joke kind of way so that I can feel cool.

Kinda like liner notes.

Christine said...

Sounds fabulous. Esp the hot tub. And the mine! mine! mine! I need some o that.

IB said...

Enjoy, Pearl!

PS I sent you an email

Michelle said...

I absolutely promise Pearly-Q!!!

I will miss you so!!!

A book??? WOOHOO!!! May i have the first signed copy?? Yes, signed by you!!!!

Love ya dear!!!

underOvr (aka The U) said...

Hope you have an enjoyable vacation Pearl. B&B sounds quaint and cozy.

underOvr

Douglas said...

Quaint? With Wi-Fi? This is quaint?

darsden said...

Fantastic and Congrats You deserve it. Can't wait for your book! Send the info on your speaking date I will try to catch the bus for that one :-)
Have a wonderful, relaxful, working vacation Pearl xoxo

Mary Moore said...

Can I come? I promise I'll be very very quiet.

Jeanne said...

Sounds great -- I wish you a relaxing and productive week!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Make sure you practice the acceptance speech - whatever award ticles your fancy. It's more fun after drinking.

Sandi said...

OOOOH I am excited for you! Have a fun!

Chaka said...

Why does everyone but me seem to be going on vacation? Oh well, have a good one.

Steve said...

Sounds absolutely fantastic and I am sooo jealous! Enjoy!

Barbara Blundell said...

Hi Pearl,
Have a lovely holiday ! Are you writing under your own name or have you a nom de plume ? I don't want to miss out

Lilly's Life said...

Have fun in the hot tub and may it get your creative juices flowing!!

Pearl said...

Rene, You got it, baby.

Christine, I hear ya! “Mine, mine, mine” doesn’t come up too often, and I’m going crazy right now, ready to hit the road!

IB, I will. I’ll check my e-mail, too…

Michelle, I will definitely take care of my bloggy friends!

underOVR, I can’t wait. I looked at it online and it seems very nice. Oh, my but it’s been a long time since I’ve had some alone time!

Douglas, dagnab it, play along! My idea of quaint means “no TV”!

Darsden, I will let you know!

Mary Moore, If only I’d known earlier…

Jeanne, thank you. I can’t wait to get into the car and drive…

Pseudonymous, that’s an excellent idea!

Chaka, I’m sorry to hear that. Is it a money thing keeping you home or a job thing? You should go somewhere, just so you can come back…

Steve, I am perversely enjoying your jealousy. Thank you!

Barbara, it will be under my name and I will definitely let you know if/when it’s published.

Lilly, I am planning great things. Let’s see how it goes!

SweetPeaSurry said...

Excellent. Have a great time. We'll be here when you get back. Well I know for sure that I'LL be here, unless I get run over by a bus. I have explicit directions for my family members to post of my untimely death should that happen though.

Ducking Little said...

Aaaw, that sounds soooo nice! I almost wish I weren't a student again.. (but then I remember the psychopaths and how they weren't that fun to take care of)

Have a great time and I look forward to carefully chosen excerpts from that piece of work! My best writing has resulted from B&Bs so I really think yo is onto something.

Sweet Cheeks said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sweet Cheeks said...

Enjoy your well earned vacation Pearly Q!

On your book dedication page make sure you spell my name right...
W-E-N-D-Y

:)

Warty Mammal said...

This sounds divine! May your vacation be both relaxing and productive.

Susan said...

Are you home yet? How much longer?

Pearl said...

SweetPea, thank you! You know, that’s actually a good idea, having someone post on your blog when you die…

Duckling Little, I hope it’s nice. The website looked nice anyway!

Sweet Cheeks, I am sincere when I tell you that part of the dedication will most definitely include a big bloggy shout-out to my fellow writers and friends all over the world, some of them by name. ;-)

Warty Mammal, I am just ITCHING to go. I absolutely love a road trip; and while I test “extrovert”, there are times that I really enjoy being alone. I’m hoping I get a lot done.

Susan, shhhh. Shhhhh. (Here is where I offer to brush your hair.)
:-)

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Congrats and have fun. BTW, I just wrote a post about a public reading I did a few years ago. Good luck with that.

Braja said...

Who, me? Ooooo I wish I was coming with you. Er..separate hot tubs, of course :)

love you...have so much fun and please come back I promise I'll be waiting waiting waiting...

xoxo

Pearl said...

Prefers Her Fantasy... I'll be stopping by -- and thank you!

Braja, I'll be back!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Have a great Holiday! We'll be here when you get back. And yes, I do feel that I can speak for the masses.

Kavi said...

Have a wonderful time and your contributions to literature will sure be greatly acknowleged by generations to come !!

And if it is Johny Depp..well, well, well..!!

:)

Have fun !

Lisa said...

enjoy- it sounds divine- lucky you !
btw- i am NOT writing a book, so maybe that is my stand out point as a blogger lol
Lisa x

De Campo said...

Enjoy your holiday!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

If you ever come down Carolina way on one of those readings, let me know. I'm all about supporting the fellow "working on a book so I'll blog instead" author. You know, trying to steer karma in my direction.