I've been included in a Minnesota anthology "Under Purple Skies", now available on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Beautiful Women Everywhere

T’s pretty sure he works with Natalie Portman.

“You know? Princess Amadala?”

Yeah. I know.

“Well she looks just like her. Except 15 pounds heavier. Maybe. Maybe 15 pounds. Anyway, it looks exactly like her.”

This does not surprise me, that T works with Natalie Portman. It was just a couple months ago that he swore he was working with the Zirtec girl.

“You know? The girl on the commercial for Zirtec?”

No, actually I didn’t know, thus ensuring me 20 minutes' description of her physical beauty.

I’ll spare you the descriptions. Oh, Lord.

“I don’t know what’s going on," he says, "but there’s a lot of really hot chicks out there lately. I mean, you should see the office! What does it mean?”

What does it mean?

It means:
A. The office hires girls right out of high school who go on to discover how much more they could be making elsewhere and move on after a year or so whereupon a new one is hired: Continual influx of fresh teenagers.
B. T prescreens restaurants for cute waitresses and rarely tips less than 20%. He is well-loved by those in the service industry.
C. T is not hard on people and has a sense of humor.
D. T might need glasses.

But you know? The more I think about it, the more I think T might be on to something: he sees beautiful women everywhere he looks. How nice is that?

And he works with Natalie Portman.

28 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

Lets see some pictures.

Kim said...

Imagine all the good things he says about you!!!!

ICKY said...

T loves the ladies.

Brother Tobias said...

It could be a sign of age. Or maybe that uncompacted green grass is just getting results?

♥ Braja said...

maybe the drugs are just better in his part of the world....

darsden said...

I see Beautiful Women Everywhere too...I follow their blogs. Oh my and you are one of them (blushing and kicking at the floor) Yes, I am blessed with beautiful women all around me :-)

Eskimo Bob said...

Or he may, just may, be working in Minnesota. There be a lot of beautiful women there in the land of many waters.

Before you get all haughty, my neighbor in NE Minnie was probably 4'8", 240 lbs, greezy hair and skin, and always wore a threadbare wife-beater with no bra. She had herself a boyfriend though who was 6'2" and a beanpole, he thought she was a hottie - so it goes.

Pearl said...

Dr. Zibbs, I’ve asked T to send pics, but frankly I think that a lot of these beautiful women exist primarily in his mind…

Under the Influence, Oooh, that’s a lovely thought!

ICKY, T is a reg’lar man about town.

Brother Tobias, T’s always been appreciative of the ladies, and I’m willing to bet a woman of quality would be attracted to that fine lawn of his once the snow melts.

Braja, that’s a given.

Darsden, I love your point of view!

Eskimo Bob, there’s someone for everyone. I’ve seen those couples – why won’t they wear t-shirts or hold placards to let us know what the story is?!

Bella@That damn expat said...

I love people who think everyone is beautiful.

Me, I think people are ugly as a rule.

Kavi said...

That was some Tee !!

Hmm !!

Pearl said...

Bella, there ARE an awful lot of ugly people, aren't there? :-)

Kavi, I have no idea what goes on in that man's head. :-)

Michelle said...

I think all people are beautiful in their own way!!!

Unless they are hideously ugly, then i can't look and i can't look away!!!!

Hi Pearly-Q!!! What up????

Douglas said...

Being an older person, and of the male persuasion, I can attest that there are more beautiful women every year. It is a fact of life. Young ones are almost always beautiful and the age limit where beauty starts to fail inexplicably rises each year. Thus, and ergo, beautiful women are multiplying at some exponential rate.

When I was 16, only 14 to 20 year old girls were objects of great beauty. When I reached 25, that had expanded to 14 to 32. When I reached 40, it had expanded to 15 to 45. Now, that I am 62, the range is almost infinite.

It has also expanded to include that ephemeral thing: inner beauty.

Pearl said...

Hey, Michelle! The hippie in me completely agrees with you. And the smart-ass in me thinks the hippie is funny and has lots to say about it!

Douglas, I suspect that everything you say there is true -- and you've said it very well.

Red Squirrel said...

'Continual influx of fresh teenagers.'

Man, I miss those days :(

Daisy said...

It is rather sweet that he thinks all the girls are pretty- but Zirtec girl? As in the allergy pills? That is hilarious!

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful way of looking at things.

I work with George Clooney! (Yes, still crushing on him at my age!!!)

Vic said...

I knew a guy who only hired good-looking females (he called them "Bettys") It was a little irritating, until I realized one day that he had been one of the people that hired me. So, not so bad I guess.

Pearl said...

Red Squirrel, you can still have a fresh influx of teenagers, but it requires working with them. Yikes.

Daisy, yes! The allergy girl!

ladyfi, I am still hoping that Johnny Depp calls...

Steve said...

Does he drink while at work... cos, you know, over here in the UK we have such a thing as "beer goggles" that make everyone look more attractive...

Bee said...

If only we could all revise our expectations upwards . . .

Unknown said...

"You look like the Zirtec girl"

worst pick-up line...ever :)

Peace - Rene

fingers said...

It's related to The Stockholm Syndrome.
Office workers are held as vocational hostages by their job and over the weeks/months/years even the most hideous moose-pig secretaries will start to appear like goddesses over time...

Ugich Konitari said...

Pearl,
Now it can be told. Actually, I just lost 30 kgs and it was me...

Old Knudsen said...

What Douglas said. I think the big black guy from the state farm adverts lives doon the road from me, hes not so cool off screen you know.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I wish there were more T's in this world.

Lilly said...

LOL!!!! I think it's great he sees beautiful people everywhere. Oh my Douglas has indeed said it very well. Except a lot of middle age men I see still prefer those beutiful girls under 30. I met my old boss the other day. He was hand in hand with a young girl. I stopped to say hello and then made some comment to this girl about how much she had grown since last I saw her. I thought it was his daughter. Um, it turns out it was his girlfriend. Oh gosh I turned bright red.......by the way Pearl thanks for your donation to the Aussie Bushfire Appeal. We only have 22 million people here so losing 300 people, and lots more is expected to be found, is a lot. You are a good soul and a very entertaining one.

AdriansCrazyLife said...

I want a man like that. I keep hearing about these "chubby chasers" who think big women are pretty - damn! I've never found one in my life. I don't actually believe they exist.