Any time the world is quiet, residential streets empty of cars and pedestrians, my mind goes directly to the End of the World, a game I played as a child.
Gosh, how much fun must I have been as a kid, huh?! I was a worried and serious child and have grown into a worried albeit silly adult. And honestly, if I had my druthers – and you know I’ve been working all my life on developing my druthers – I’m glad it worked out like that.
Every day I enjoy the fact that it all started out a bit worrisome but has turned out to be a lot of fun.
I’m silly, but I pay my bills.
So it was not unusual for me that Friday, the day after New Years, was an End of the World scenario. Was I the only one working in the U.S.? I walked to the bus stop down the middle of the street, no one to stop me. I crossed against the lights. I waited for the bus for 10 minutes and saw only a handful of cars. Even now, as I’m sitting here on the bus at 7:20 in the a.m., delightfully geek-ish and taking notes, there are only nine people with me, including one guy in a wheelchair.
Being alone has always had a strange effect on me; and in no time at all, in my mind I have gone from a bus on a deserted street to being on a transport vehicle carrying the only survivors of a global plague. A sweeping viral infection has circled the globe in a three-week period...
I surveyed the bus. So this is what we have to work with.
The world is in trouble, ladies and gentlemen. None of these people – myself included – look like they’re up to the challenge of birthing a new civilization.
In light of the need to be practical in this practically ridiculous scenario, I have taken stock of myself; and I think you’ll be as surprised as I was to discover that I am going to be of no help whatsoever:
I know how to milk a cow, but I’d rather not.
I would not trust me to set your broken bones, help you deliver your baby, or pull one of your teeth.
I don’t know how to repair any kind of engine.
I can’t remember if the cure for a snake bite is sucking the poison out of it or peeing on it. I know that peeing on something is a cure for something…
I could go on and on, but already I’m worried about the future.
Thank goodness we’re all perfectly safe, huh?
Season of the Buffalo
2 hours ago