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Saturday, January 31, 2009

No, Really. I Can’t Stay.

Written shortly after bar-close and a good two hours after a text I sent at 11:00 saying I’d be home shortly… I'll just apologize for this now and go lay down...

OK. Hic. Maybe just one more.

See? This is how it starts. I’m sorry – what’s that you say? You think we should meet at the 331 for a couple drinks? Well, sure! I’d love to. But I can’t stay long. I’ve got eggs to candle first thing tomorrow morning, an appointment with a phrenologist at 11:00, a class (Mushrooms, Mushrooms, Mushrooms!: Don’t Fear The Fungus) at noon and a full afternoon of cat-shaving – and I’ve got to be sober for it this time.

But see? This is how it starts. Any time I use the words “but I can’t stay long”, I can almost guarantee that I will still be there when the bartender starts making those grand sweeping gestures towards the front door.

I can’t stay long, my ass.

When will I learn? Wait – is it necessary that I learn? Who do I talk to about getting credit for this?

No, no, no. Entirely wrong attitude.

Where was I?

Oh, yes. Getting credit for staying until bar close. That’s a great idea! Who do we talk to? We should all go out, have a couple drinks, take notes, have someone proofread our notes, and then go dancing.

Wait. No. No, no, no, I thought you said you couldn’t stay all night! I thought you had to have someone read your lumpy head or something in the morning!

No, I never said that. I did not say that.

Oh, shut up, will you?

Hey! Have you seen our waitress? We have time for one more, and then I’ve really got to get going.

William Throckmorton the Third’s going to have a fit.


darsden said...

Rotflmfao...ssssh, hey Pearl, sounds like you had a wonderful time. Hope you don't pay for it.. too long.

The Retired One said...

Phrenology? Heck, in our family, they could probably put all twelve of their children thru college...it would take that long to count all the lumps and interpret them. Like in the movie "I Think I married an Ax Murderer" (I think that is the right title)...we have big HEEEDS...
Nurse that hangover and join us again when you can sit up and not have the room spinning.....
PS I admire your devotion to your blog to still post with a hangover. You are my hero.

Douglas said...

Pearls of wisdom floating in a martini glass.

I'm afraid something is still boggled, (bloggled?) though. Go over to my blog, look at the sidebar, find your blog link, and see what it says. I have no idea what is wrong or how to fix it. My OBTF is set up to show latest post title of the blogs listed.

Mary Moore said...

Wow, you sure have a lot tucked into one day! I hope you can actually get out of bed today and do half of them!

darsden said...

I really can't stay..baby it's cold out side, I really must go..baby it's cold outside..there's a lil song just for you..#2 hehehe

Eskimo Bob said...

"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!!!" Pearl thinks as her head is pounding the inside of her eyes. What comes out though is:

"Oh geez you guys, thanks. Thanks alot eh. I love you -"

it gets awkward as she now throws her arm around your neck, effectively putting you in a headlock that a bear can't get out of. To further add to the uncomfortableness, she thinks she's whispering, as she gets real close to your ear:

"You know - there's just so much stress at work, and I have to shave my cat again. I have such a busy day tomorrow - I wish I could just. . . POOF!! (again thinking she is whispering, but in fact yelling in your ear now) you know?!?!?"

Michelle said...

Eggs to candle???


Pearl did you have fun or you do not remember????

Did you wear your hat??? The one with the wine stains????


nsiyer said...

Pearl, exciting. A couple of drinks. How many couples?

Jess said...

We have the exact same issue! How does that happen?!? I say I am going for two drinks at 5:00, next thing I know I am 6 drinks down and it is 8:30. Stupid two for one. Our "let's not stay out too late tonight" night (last night) went from 9:45pm till 2:00am. We were supposed to be home at midnight.

Ian Lidster said...

Great and inspired SOC

SweetPeaSurry said...

YAY for out all night induced hangovers. Usually, since I work nights I can get away with staying up until about 5am and still get 8hrs of sleep and be at work an hour early. Lately, I've been staying up until 7am though, and it's not cool. 2 asprin and a Jug O Water girl!!

Not The Rockefellers said...

Another case for cloning.

And btw...Thursday is shave your kittehs furs day!!

Peace - Rene

Braja said...

I can see I'm going to have to give you a room in the cellar on this retreat lol... :)))) Or in the attic. With a key of your own. And no rules. And a bodyguard.

Kavi said...


You sure seem to have had a swell time !


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Braja said...

I can't find the post where I asked you if you were a CSI girl :(