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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Hey! That New Shirt Makes You Look Really Productive!

I’m wearing a new shirt today.

What’s that, you say? Why yes, I find that to be true as well! New clothes do make life worth living!

As shallow and self-serving as it may sound, somehow, wearing something to work that I’ve never worn before makes my job more exciting.

Can you imagine? More excitement than I had yesterday! Is that possible? As if the giddiness of yesterday’s filing and repeated “Good morning this is Pearl how can I help you?” wasn’t enough!! And now I’m doing it in a new shirt?

How in the world am I going to top this? The mind. She reels.

It’s been a fact of my corporate/office-style existence since, oh, well, let’s see. I started working right after World War I – the War to End All Wars, we called it. At first, I was content to just draw lines up the backs of my legs to simulate nylons, but I wanted more. I wanted one of those mink-biting-its-feet stoles like you saw in the talkies. I wanted my cigarettes in those long holders. I wanted to draw arches into my eyebrows that said “beat it, wise guy!”. I wanted shoulder pads that would make Joan Crawford weep.

I’m a little more subdued these days. I no longer think that knee-high moccasins are appropriate for the office. You can no longer tell what my favorite bands are from the logos on my shirts. I no longer carry changes of clothes in the back seat of my car, just in case I didn’t make it home the night before; and I now put on new make-up every day, even if I woke up in yesterday’s.

How's that for upwardly mobile?

This new attention to my wardrobe might explain my rocket-like rise to power in the last 80 years from dance hall girl to vaudeville crooner to receptionist/copy lackey to World’s Best Executive Assistant. (The title is self-appointed, but I’m sure HR will back me up on this.)

Anyway, that’s all I had to say today. Just wanted to let you know that I look and feel spiffy.

Carry on!

24 comments:

Ann's Rants said...

New gym shoes make you jump really high and run really fast too. Just in case your productivity begins to lag...

Irish Gumbo said...

Dahling, you look mahvelous! I can see the glow from here! Seriously, would you tone it down a bit? It's making it hard for me to see my screen, dangit.

But you have given me an idea: I shall get a new shirt, that should help turn things around in the job hunt. Although I suppose my new shirt should not reference boobs, beer or the size of my (ahem) personal parts, right? I don't want to mess up any interviews! :)

Michelle said...

Hi Pearl,
I would love to see a photo of you is said new shirt!!!

I just this very second cleaned out a drawer of mine and found 2 shirts, never worn the tags still hanging!!

Once again dear Pearl you have inspired me. I am going to dress up in my new shirt today. I just have to remember to cut off the tag so that i don't embarass myself!!!

HAPPY WEDNESDAY!!!!

rachael said...

Haha, a new outfit can totally change your day~!

"I now put on new make-up every day, even if I woke up in yesterday’s."

LOL, thats why I stopped wearing make up!

Pearl said...

Ann, I forgot about the super-ball-ness of new gym shoes. Oooh, the cats are gonna freak tonight!!

Irish, thank you, muffin. And yes, job-interview clothing should never reference sports teams, how you feel about breasts, or whether or not your penis has hobbies.
Right? That's right, right? Those have always been MY rules, anyway, and look at me over here, all fully employed and all (still). *sigh* Did I mention that we're (at work) to take unpaid days soon? *heavy sigh*

Michelle, hey, that's why I'm here -- to get you to wear your new clothes, sans tags! How cool is that, though, to find something new?? This never happens to me -- in fact, I'm experiencing the opposite lately. I've lost two hats in the last month. This is not fun, as I am reduced now to wearing my apres yoga hat, which has a distinctive "ring" around the inside of it due to excessive (and well-earned) sweating...

Rachael, oh, sure, all young and beautiful! Rub it in my face!!!
:-D Without make-up, people tend to ask me if I'm "ok". HA! A little blush, a little lipstick, and suddenly I'm healthy-looking. Who knew. I'm a lipstick junkie, though, as was my mother before me... Hey! Would you believe I just developed the urge to write about lipstick? Yikes!

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Now that I have this tutoring in the home gig, I had to get a few new shirts myself. I was told showing cleavage was not appropriate

De Campo said...

Having never had a real job I’m fascinated by office happenings. Does your office have wardrobe theme days like Hawaiian shirt day or wear your children to work day?

darsden said...

Nodding Yes, I thought the new top really brought your eyes out. They really Pop now! When I saw you step on the bus this morning I went whewheww new top for Pearl!

Vic said...

There's nothing better than something new to wear!

(especially when you face thinly disguised contempt from teenagers from wearing the same shoes two days in a row. Not that I would ever do that. Very often.)

I miss the hose with the seam down the back.

darsden said...

Just FYI I still cannot get my comments ... so everybodies count keeps going up and visitors keep climbing from Gulfport, Ms...sorry I just have to manually click in till I find out where all those boogers are hanging out at.

Pearl said...

Prefers Her Fantasy Life, tutoring in the home? The "Reading is Fundamental" thong is probably inappropriate as well...

DeCampo, I just attracted unwanted office attention with the snorting over the line "wear your children to work". :-) I've been in an office for, hmmm, most of my -- uh -- oh, wow. I didn't think I'd get emotional about it, but yeah, appears that I've been, um... OH GAWD, not another margarita lunch...

Darsden, you silly southern-type person. :-) I just KNEW that was you back there!

Vic, I hear ya on those darn kids. :-) Was I/were you that concerned about clothing as teenagers? Honestly, I don't think I was. All we needed were Levis (which I never got because mom said they cost too much) and a red sweater (Go, Cardinals!).

Douglas said...

I don't understand. I am wearing shirts I have had for ten years. Must be a guy thing. Of course, I do not have an office to go to, clients to impress, or any of that. I just hang out with a crowd of old farts who think beer bellies are a fashion statement.

And I thought womenfolk wear blouses not shirts.

sticky said...

You! look fabulous. I thought that before I knew it was new...

I wear my kid to work everyday, it really isn't what it's cracked up to be...try wearing your pet instead (warmer too)

Dr Zibbs said...

I'm the same way Pearl.

Sweet Cheeks said...

Be careful Pearly Q! You feel great today in your new shirt, and then tomorrow when you go to work in your old clothes you crash! Too combat this I recommend you stop on the way home and buy new undies or new earrings. That way tomorrow you still have on something new and won't lose your magic feeling.
:)

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Even though you're no longer doing Vaudeville, please tell me you kept the tassels.

Jess said...

I THOUGHT there was something different about you today!

When I get my hair cut...and it is already ridiculously short, my boss is always like...OH you got your hair cut! To which I reply...nope, new shoes.

Steve said...

Every time I turn up for a work in a cool shirt my work colleagues quite rightly guess that it's recently been my birthday and my wife, who has far more taste and style than I ever will, has decided to augment my wardrobe. Behind every great man is a woman telling him how to dress (and if he's really great, what to say)...

Cameron said...

Have you lost weight?

Did you do something different with your hair?

Oh...new shirt!!! It makes you look so young / sexy / smart / powerful. It fits you nicely, and definitely accents your boobs!!

KMcJoseph said...

80 years you say? Are you a vampire?

Pearl said...

Douglas, you're right about the blouses. But you're wrong about the 10-year-old shirts. :-)

Sticky, I used to wear my kid. Then he got all opinionated about stuff and demanding his pudgy little autonomy...

Dr. Zibbs, I suspected. (Your horns look great today, btw.)

Sweet Cheeks, worse yet, after this I-feel-fabulous feeling I went and lost my hat!! Why does the Universe insist on speaking to me when I've made it clear that I'm busy?!!

iNDefatigable, I had to sell them to pay for father's elbow-bleachings...

Jess, I like it. I'm going to use that.

Steve, I wonder if we can get your wife to buy me cool new shirts, too...

Cameron, all of the above! I feel like a hundred bucks!

KMcJ, no, but I am remarkably well-preserved for my age. :-)

Jeanne said...

The clothes! Darn it! That's probably why my number came up at my last job!

La Belette Rouge said...

The shirt makes the Pearl. Or is it the Pearl that makes the shirt?;-)

Braja said...

Pearl you are a peach :)