I've been included in a Minnesota anthology "Under Purple Skies", now available on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

This Bus Is Mine!

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my bus! Have a seat. I know it’s early, and I know that most of the U. S. is still asleep, bleary visions of tonight’s drunken free-for-all (also known as New Year’s Eve) in their heads, but you and I, the waiters and secretaries and cab drivers of industry, we’re up and at ‘em!

And look! You have your pick of seats! Even your bag can have its own seat (in direct violation of the suggested rules I’ve sent to the transit authority)!

Look at us go!

Makes you proud, doesn’t it, how much we do, how hard we work? Proud, with just a touch of nausea.

That’s the beautiful thing about the week between Christmas and the New Year. Empty buses! Empty highways! Plenty of room at the lunch counters! Plenty of room for contemplation! Why, you’d have to be nuts to take this week off!

The malls, of course, are up to their elbows in people, but what are we? American teenagers? No! We don’t have time to shop! Dagnab it, people, we’ve got an economy to propel here!

So welcome to the bus. And thank you for everything you’ve done this year. You, the common man and/or woman (I’m not here to judge), the people who have gone to work no matter how many times they’ve slipped on the ice on the way there, no matter that someone – someone! – threw up on you on your way out the door in the morning (inconsiderate infants!), no matter how many times you said, “I’m sick of working! Would you win the lottery already?!”, you – yes, you! – are the reason it all continues to come together the way it does.

And for that, you should be thanked.

So thank you. And see you on the bus next year. You can sit next to me.

18 comments:

darsden said...

Plenty of elbow room...love it. Enjoy the ride Pearl. Happy 2009!

IB said...

I need three things to get off to a good (read: tolerable) start in the morning:

Clean undies
2 cups of black coffee
your daily post

You have quickly become a favorite part of my morning routine and for that I thank YOU

Happy New Year, Pearl

IB

♥ Braja said...

You're gonna need a big seat girl, cos we ALL wanna sit next to you :)

Oh, and IB? I think we could have got thru 2008 without hearing about your undies, but no, at the 11th hour, there you are, "undies undies undies." Thanks for that image...

:)

Skywalker said...

Hahaa on the undies (hey they are clean).

I looove holiday metro commutes. A seat on the blue line, a nice drive into to work. Loves it.

Happy 2009.

Douglas said...

Happy New Year to you. I, of course, will be sleeping. You get old, sleep is celebration, trust me.

IB has simple, but elegant (in the case of your blog), tastes. [IB, knowing you need clean undies each day is a sign you've become your mother.]

Nice blog, added my picture. Pearl, you remind me of someone I dated way back in the pre-computer era. She was from Minnesota too. Must be something in that water.

Your wordify (word verification) was anizat. That sounded important and meaningful, like an old Russian toast so I thought you should know.

♥ Braja said...

Anizat. It does sound like that; I can see you raising your schnapps, snapping your heels together, shouting "ANIZAT" and knocking it back. Cool :)

Steve said...

Can I have the window seat?

Kavi said...

That sure sounds like some ride ! SOME ride !!

:)

Wishing you a very happy new year !!

Unknown said...

Wonderful clever post! I was bummed because I worked almost all week (with the exception of Tuesday), but the lack of traffic and craziness was nice (the office is so quiet!) :) Happy New Year!

Ann Imig said...

Too bad we don't have much room here on the short bus.

xo Pearl! Happy Happy New Year!

Michelle said...

Thank you, i would be honored to sit next to you on the bus so we can chit chat and talk undies and chocolate and stuff!!

You rock girlie!!!

Happy New Year to my new bus friend!!!

Anonymous said...

Well, the wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round don't they? I'll ride. Ugh..I forgot my token.
Happy New Year Pearly Q! :)

Sherri Murphy said...

Just stumbled upon your site--love your sarcasm! ("...inconsiderate infants").

Happy new year and lots of elbow room in 2009!

The Wife O Riley said...

What a lovely bus you have here! Glad to be aboard.

Have a wonderful New Year, and watch out for the traffic next week.

Pearl said...

Hey, Darsden.
There's always room. :-)

Hi, IB.
Excellent. My plan to take over the world is taking shape nicely.
:-)

Hey, Braja!
Party Bus!!

Hi, Skywalker.
Happy commuting, and happy 2009.

Hi, Douglas.
Glad to see you!
And glad Minnesota has good memories for you. Wait a minute -- those are GOOD memories, aren't they?!

Braja, we'll have to keep Douglas around and amused. :-)

Hi, Steve!
Yes. As long as you promise to scoot over.

Hi, Kavi!
We're going to need you along, you know...

Hi, Paula.
It's definitely a bittersweet thing, working the week between Christmas and NYE. On the one hand, no traffic. ON the other hand, no one in the office to bother you. "Make me copies." "Get me a flight to DC". "Put your pants back on".
Huh. Work.

Hi, Ann.
That's cuz you're special. :-) My special friend.

Hi, Michelle.
I love the bus!!!

Hi, Sweet Cheeks.
Dagnab it!

Hi, Sherri.
Glad you're here!

Hi, Wife O Reilly.
Happy New Year!

Pearl

Unknown said...

To the bus, elbow room, common folk and plenty of clean undies...this Bud's for you!

Peace in 2009 - Rene

Susan said...

"Proud with just a touch of nausea," Excellent!! Can I drive sometimes?

justsomethoughts... said...

i will be happy to sit next to you. that is, if you have chocolate...

why is my word verf "stings" ?