It was seven degrees below zero this morning, bus-time. That’s standing air temperature, by the way.
For those of you outside of the U.S., that’s -20 degrees Celsius.
At that temperature, it’s less than 11 minutes before exposed flesh freezes.
Frozen exposed flesh in under 11 minutes! Isn’t that delightful?
Minnesotans are known for their heartiness, their work ethic, and their general inability to recognize when nature’s got them over a barrel.
Ask a Minnesotan why they live in Minnesota and odds are good that you’ll get a long and only partially honest explanation of how their people are from here, the public school system is good, the quality of life is good, how they might run into Prince someday, and so on.
It actually has nothing to do with quality of life or chance run-ins with Prince.
The truth is that we’re masochists. Runny-nosed, squinty-eyed, chapped-lipped masochists.
It’s as easy as that.
Really, what other reason can there be for living in an area that can kill you in under an hour just by changing seasons?
I could tell you about how many people a winter wander out of the house, drunk, only to be found 20 feet from the front door, frozen to death. I could even tell you about how Yours Truly, at 13, permanently damaged all ten toes because she wore her mother’s fashion boots rather than her own mukluks while delivering the Sunday paper during a snowstorm because she had a crush on a fellow paper deliverer and thought – well, who knows what the hell I thought at that age…
But why? Frankly, it’s depressing; and us old-time Minnesotans have no time for such stories when we’re actually busy putting on a layer of protective fat and searching for increasingly better lotions for our cracked, reddened hands…
The weather forecast calls for a low of -17 Fahrenheit by the time the bus comes Tuesday morning.
Ooooh. Hit me again. It feels so good.
3 hours ago