Uh-oh! Look out, people. I’m about to get peevish. Quick! While there’s still time to click to another page! Run! Save yourself!
What? Still here?
Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
You know, there is evidence supporting a change in global and trade-wind temperatures, the maximum paid-U.S.-maternity leave is three months (and often less), an old ankle injury aches with the coming of winter, and yet I don’t want to talk about any of those things.
No. You know what’s bugging me right now? You know what I want to talk about?
But hey! What’s wrong with removing the nicotine or caffeine stains, making your teeth a little whiter?
Nothing. There’s nothing wrong with that. Why walk around with strangely stained teeth when you don’t have to? What the hell! Bleach your teeth! Dye ‘em blue for all I care!
What I object to is the implication that whiter teeth will make you more popular, more successful, more desirable, more confident.
“With my teeth whitened, I can do anything!”
THAT, my friends, is a direct quote from a grinning, dimpling, twinkly-eyed twit trying to convince me that confidence is gained by having the most unnaturally white teeth in the room.
Never mind learning something or applying yourself! With teeth like Jove’s flashlights, you can do anything!
Anything except, apparently, write a commercial that doesn’t insult the intelligence.
Being a Nighthawk
3 hours ago