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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Yesterday Was A Test of the Internal Emergency Broadcast System

Had this been a real emergency, you would have been instructed where to find the remnants of my head and encouraged to send copious amounts of tequila and other possibly consoling sundries to my grieving friends and family.

I’m exaggerating, as is my wont; and yet if there was a day designed to test my fortitude, it was yesterday.

Patience is not my long suit. Hard to picture, isn’t it? Now, I’m not talking about instant pudding here (although it can’t hold a candle to real pudding – don’t get me started on the beauty of a real pudding!). I’m talking about when the normal things one does take three to four times as long as they usually do.

Take the computer for example. I often have a medium-sized obelisk-style pile of paper that must be "inputted", as they say, to the computer. I’ve gotten this sort of thing down pat – I know how many “tabs” to where I need to go next, I know how much I can enter at any given time, I know how far ahead of myself I can get before the computer gets crabby with me, and I know when I’ll be done so I can go on to the next scintillating project.

Now take the same medium-sized obelisk-style pile of paper that I need to enter into the computer, only this time put one of my arms in a sling, put the data in another language and drop some LSD into my coffee. That’s how I felt yesterday, minus the signatures of my friends on the plaster or the accompanying potential fun/hazards of tripping at work.

I’m a Type A personality, folks. I have Things To Do.

Very Important Things.

As a matter of fact, I was told, at my last review, that the only thing they had for me as a “developmental goal” was for me to “have more fun”.

I laughed out loud at that one; but at work, I guess it’s true. I can be – can be! – one of those people who responds to your question of “How was your weekend?” with “Lovely! Say, did you ever get that file I sent you?”

Don’t they know that I’m paid by the hour? Don’t they know I have Things To Do?

I need to be “fuzzier”. I need to “relax”.


Breathe, dagnab it, Pearl, breathe! (And insert llama-like thoughts here.)



Braja said...

OK, now I need to see a llama-like comment. I don't know what that is. Or has Pearl been tied up in the closet and this is Liza Bean Bitey of the Minnesota Biteys?
Liza Bean, put that mouse down and go and untie your mother...

Pearl said...

The llamas say "all is one".
No, wait. That's the (dalai) lamas.
And don't talk to me about the kitties! Those dang cats are on my nerves!!
Liza Bean is up to SOMEthing. I've caught her on my laptop twice now in under a week. Once I figure out her password, I am SO posting whatever that little whisker-licker has been working on!


Judi "Jlo" Moran said...

Oh, Pearl, thanks for another great LOL moment!
I love your zany humor, girl!
YOU are not funny at the office...I really can't imagine.
Split personality, maybe?!

Tenacious Tess said...

I feel your pain. I am very Type A as well and am often yelled at about my coworkers about not having fun. Just today I got dragged into a coversation about not ever participating. I have work to do and blogs to write people.

Pearl said...

Hi, Judi.
I think I have fun at work, but then again, I pretty much think I have fun everywhere!

Hi, Tess.
Do our coworkers have any idea how many important things we have to do?! These blogs aren't going to write themselves!


mbuna53 said...

That is dalai of the Tibetan lamas, not Ralf the wonder llama of South American llama fame?

Pearl said...

Hi, Mbuna.
I loved Ralph the Wonder Llama on Monty Python's Holy Grail!

Odd Chick said...

I loved that you came by and visited my blog and now it's given me the opportunity to enjoy yours. You are a great story teller and very funny! I can't believe that you're not a lot of fun to work with and hang around. I can imagine that you have fun at whatever you do- type A and all.

Eric S. said...

Sound like you are having all the "fun" you can handle, LOL.

llamas ?

Lilly's Life said...

No, stay the Type A personality at work because something tells me if you relaxed and had fun at work your posts wouldnt be so funny. Dont do it to us Pearl. Work is for work, its true.

Barbara Blundell said...

Beware !It's always possible to go OTT and have too much fun at work and get hauled over the coals.

Braja said...

Pearl, I found out what Liza Bean is up to: at least, I know the date it's goin' down. The 16th. Stay tuned. I think I'm onto something....

Pearl said...

Hi, Odd Chick.
:-) Me, too!

Hi, Eric.
Oh, I made a I'm-sick-of-growing-as-a-person-and-would-rather-grow-as-a-llama comment/blog a couple days ago. They're beautiful, of course, but I love their humming. :-)

Hi, Lilly!
I've mellowed (for the most part, anyway!) as I've aged. But yeah, why should this leopard change her spots?

Hi, Barbara!
Well and isn't THAT the truth? I needed that advice in my 20s!!