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Sunday, November 9, 2008

If I Had to Choose

Someone asked me the other day if I would rather have a head twice the size of a normal head or half the size of a normal head.

Those were my only options.

I didn’t like those options; but really, when you think about it, there is, truly, only one real choice.

You’d have to go with twice as big.

It’s the only way!

Think about it: a head half the size? That means half the brain. That means a lifetime of minimum wage, ill-fitting clothing from the last decade and bad haircuts. I can’t do that.

No. I need the brain. I’ll take the Super-Sized head, if I must choose.

With twice the brain power, there will probably still be ill-fitting clothing from the last decade; and I imagine I will want to keep a smooth, close-fitting hairstyle, if only to minimize the severity of the head-shock I’ll instill upon the casual observer, but I wouldn’t be working for minimum wage, that’s for sure.

And at least I wouldn’t be a pinhead.


Judi "Jlo" Moran said...

Great way to start my day - with Ms. Pearl's daily dose of humor!
How about a mock-up pic of what you would actually look like with a big head?!
I'm with you - although it might get pretty heavy carrying around a huge head.
PS Check out Irina's (of rocksnowhite) guest post on zany life today - she's up to her usual creative self!

Chris Cope said...

Plus, with a massive head you could compensate by wearing really bulky clothing, possibly walking on stilts -- making yourself out to be giant. There's no way to compensate for a wee skull. Stripes won't fix that.

Brother Tobias said...

I'm not so sure. You might be talking about a desk-top brain versus a laptop brain. Not thicker, just more compact. Small head equals cheaper haircuts, less chance of getting stuck between railings, smaller target for pigeons, reduced heat loss. Think of being stuck behind a big head in a cinema; Miss Unpopular or what? Not to mention the devastating sneezes.

Barbara Blundell said...

I've already got one.

Pearl said...

Hi, Judi. I'm glad you think I'm funny. :-)

Hi, Chris. You're right! I had forgotten about the fabulous amount of layering one could do. There's the side work that could be done, too. I could charge people just to look at my head...

Brother Tobias, you make some very good, logical points. The not-getting-my-head-stuck-between-rails alone has already skewed the balance of my thinking. Now I have to re-think this whole big-head-little-head thing.

Barbara, you already have a big head?! I HAVE admired your vocabulary. Maybe that's why... :-)


Lilly's Life said...

I've known plenty of bigheads in my time. The world has too many to support now, let alone it (and my neck) supporting an even bigger one. No I'd prefer to be a pin head. I would then have an excuse to not have to see, let alone adress, any of the world's problems let alone any of mine. How cool would it be to be oblivious to what was going on around us. And the most pressing thing I had to think about was what flavour ice cream I was going to eat. It would also mean I wouldnt have to wear an unattractive mouthguard and because I no longer would be so stressed about 'dong' and being. Also given the head is the most heavy part of our body anyway, I would also drop a lot of weight just like that. No, I want to be a pinhead Pearl...in fact I am practising what Oprah says, I am shouting it out to the Universe now, I even bet Braja can hear me in the oh so quiet India. I think I am going to wake up tomorrow as a pinhead. Thanks for chnging my life (and its clear I do not use most of the brain I have already, he he). When are you coming to check out my special post to you and ******oos?

Not The Rockefellers said...

Pearl I'm going hold off on my decision until the vast majority of people have voted. If most of you vote fathead. Then the average head size would be fathead. So when I vote half the size of a normal/average head that won't be such a drastic change, Does this make sense? I'm such a pinhead sometimes.
Plus If I could lose my junior jowls with a head downsizing that'll be cool!

Peace - Rene

Word Verf: fortisms
Definition: stories relating to or spoken around forts.

Morgan the (Almost) Muse said...

Hey, I guess I would have to agree with you on the head thing. But I think I would stick with my normal-sized head.

So, how did you find me? I am just curious, no reason to get all worried. :D

The Muse said...

I'll remind myself of all the glorious attributes of having a big head the next time I lament on trying to find the right size hat! LOL

Lulu LaBonne said...

Hi Pearl - my sister has half of my share of head, seriously I have a pin head and my sister has what she describes as a big moon head. I love her but sometimes I think she might be keeping air in the extra space.

Pearl said...

Ah, Lily, I do hope you get your wish. I shall be watching BBC America for any news of the newly found pinhead in Australia. :-)

Rene, if I can follow your reasoning -- and I can -- does that make me a pinhead, too? p.s. "Junior Jowls'. I really like that.

Morgan, I'm not sure how I found you! I think we have a couple peeps in common!

Muse: That's the spirit! :-)

Hi, Lula. Think of the buoyancy!!


ICKY said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ICKY said...

Its from a game called "Zobmondo!! "Would You Rather...?"


Anonymous said...

I'd go with twice as big on the head thing. Yup, I'm thinking of the cool hats I could wear, lots of wooly yarny lookin' tassles and what have you. It'd be cool. My earrings would really pop as well, always a plus!