I've been included in a Minnesota anthology "Under Purple Skies", now available on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I Got Yer List Right Here, Baby

As one might imagine, I’m a list maker. Not only does this give me clear indication of what’s expected of me, but I get the satisfaction of checking off the completed items.

You have to know how to work a list, though. You can’t just make a list! You’ve got to think ahead to the pay-off!

For example, listing that you need to “clean the bathroom” is only going to get you one “check”. Hardly worth it, is it?

But if you list out:
Scrub toilet
Scrub tub
Change towels
Evict illegal squatters
Shake rugs


Well, now look how many things you have to check off! Now that’s a proper list!

I find my old lists in jacket pockets, at the bottom of my purse. Some of them are quite obvious.

Milk
Bread
Eggs


No mistaking that list.

But then there are the lists liable to make you frown with concentration.

Don’t forget to bring to next gathering!
Ruler
Lasagna (uncooked)
Beads
Stretchy Cord
Duct Tape
Antacid


Yikes! What do you suppose was going on there? No, no, no. Let’s not think any more on that one.

That one’s going to give me wrinkles.

25 comments:

rtju said...

Don’t forget to bring to next gathering!
Ruler
Lasagna (uncooked)
Beads
Stretchy Cord
Duct Tape
Antacid

Really? Interesting. Must have been one of those gatherings I was not invited to, no don't worry about it, it's OK. Seriously, I'll be fine.

jk ;)

La Belette Rouge said...

I also like to ad things to my list that make me feel like I have done even more:
breath
sleep
digest food
watch TV
think obsessively about my flaws
spend 5 hours on the internet
check email obsessively
sit on the couch

Barbara Blundell said...

I'm all in favour of lists or I forget what I'm supposed to be achieving that day and go blogging instead.

SassyTwoSocks said...

Thanks for the comment on my giant phallus post! I am totally loving your blog. You talk about monkeys about as much as I talk about ninjas. Awesome! I'm adding you to the blogroll baby!

Pearl said...

mbuna, how did you get this blog site?! :-)

La Belette, I like those lists, too and thank you for the line item "digest food".
I also like checking off "freckle". I sometimes freckle just for fun. :-)

Hi, Barbara.
Well, there's that, too! I swear, if I don't write it down, it doesn't exist...

Hi there Sassy!
I'm STILL wondering what the !@#$ that sign meant! (I recommend to everyone that they go to her post -- what in the world is that sign suggesting that the swimmer avoid?!)

Pearl

♥ Braja said...

Would I be right in guessing that the "evict evil squatters" note was a result of the actions and behavior of one Ms Liza Bean Bitey of the Minneapolis Biteys?

Pearl said...

Hi, Braja.
Well she DOES lurk in there, waiting for me to take a bath.
The bubbles. They intrigue her.
:-)
Pearl

Lynda said...

Hey! I know that list... that is the list for the group where you learn to make your own Can O'Whoop Ass! LOL (sorry, it is STILL my saying of teh week)

I am a List Maker too... My Dear Husband hates my lists - BIG TIME... he claims that my lists always say things like:
DH
Paint House (on golf day)
Mow Lawn (on fishing day)
Go Shoe shopping with kids (on any day)

Where as, my lists, go something like:
LuLu
Make Spa appointment
Go to Spa appointment
Send Driver to do shopping for dinner whilst getting pedicure
Send DH text messages with MORE lists during Hot Stone massage...

Excellent lists... love 'em!

(my word verification is EXESSPIG)
Baaahaaa haaa haa.. hic!

KMcJoseph said...

Great blog! Love it.

Pearl said...

Hey, Lynda.
Well, that's just mad list-making skillz on your part. :-)

Hey, KMcJoseph.
Thank you!

Pearl

Anonymous said...

LOL..Too funny Pearl!
I need lists or I'll forget any and everything.

Pearl said...

Hi, Tabby!
I've said it before and I'll say it again: It if ain't on the list, it doesn't exist!
Pearl

Daisy said...

Antacid!! Woah, some meeting... undoubtedly that would be for the after-uncooked-lasagna tummy trouble. I love a good list, but there's nothing more depressing than finding endless items not checked off, so I have taken to onl listing the things I've done.

Pearl said...

Hi, Daisy.
You realize that's cheating, don't you?
:-D
Pearl

The Grandpa said...

Evict illegal squatters? It doesn't do any good. They always come back.

CaMaTaDaLisMa said...

Do you ever make a list and put on it things you've already done just so you can immediately cross them off and feel productive from the start?

Yeah...I do that a LOT!!!!!

And some things on my list??? They never get crossed off. "Become a multi-zillionaire" seems to be an ever-elusive task I'd like to complete and eliminate from my list.

And then all my new lists would say, "Hire someone else to do all the items on my previous lists."

Anonymous said...

I am a compulsive list maker too. There is always a running shopping list in kitchen, which I always forget to take with me (though I often find an old one in my jacket pocket). And a list of stuff to do at work, and of stuff to do at the weekend. I rarely do more than half of it, but I would spend all day trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing without them. My 14 year old does great lists - get up, wash face, clean teeth, brush hair, get dressed, have breakfast, put lunch in bag, do makeup, go to school .... she also draws boxes on to put the ticks in. Ah, bless!

Pearl said...

Grandpa, that's the truth! :-)

Hi, Tami.
I am OFTEN tempted to just make lists of the things I've already done!

Hi, Alienne.
I've been known to make the little boxes, as well as create elaborate headlines for the lists. When you start adding graphics, though? That's just showing off. :-)

Pearl

Unknown said...

You know Pearl maybe you wrote that list out the same night you wrote the thing about the spinning galaxies ( a couple of posts ago) :)

Peace - Rene

poosemommy said...

Hmmm...
Duct tape and stretchy cord? Perhaps Liza Bean Bitey made that list?

Pearl said...

Hi, Rene.
Drunken list-making is the worst. :-)

Hey, Mommy. :-)
You know, now that you mention it, it DID look like someone IMITATING my handwriting!

Pearl

tashabud said...

I should start making lists. Just so I can have a proof that I've done something for the day. Hehe

Thanks for giving me this idea.

Tasha

Old Knudsen said...

I found one of my old lists recently all the people on it had mysteriously died, lucky I write things done or I'd forget.

Brother Tobias said...

Scribbling notes to yourself in the night is a variation on list making. Usually puzzling when one can't read them in the morning.

Lyndsay said...

Hmmm ... I think perhaps you just got inside my head on this one.

My problem has morphed. I now take my lists and make lists from the lists.

I am sure there is a diagnosis for this somewhere.