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Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Boy Can’t Answer You Now, He’s AFK

There’s more than just a generational gap out there, people. There are language gaps as well.

My son, the boy-man living with me as he finishes his final year of college, has been playing an online game called Final Fantasy XI for three years now.

Do you know about this game? “The world of Vana’diel stands on the brink of war. Three powerful nations rally their troops against the beastmen in a desperate bid for survival. Now, brave adventurers like you are Vana’dial’s only hope!”

After three years, as you can imagine, The Boy’s quite powerful.

He has three "75 jobs", 75 being the highest job level you can attain. He is a thief, a red mage and a black mage.

Thief. The following is the actual description he gave me for “thief”: Can plant hate, is mad evasive, can inflict insane spiky damage, treasure hunter.

What you really need to know here is The Boy can sneak up behind a mob (i.e., a monster or anything that’s not an actual human behind a keyboard) and ruin it/kill it/make it his bitch.

He’s also two different kinds of mage: red and black.

Wait – what? What do you mean you don’t know what a mage is? My dear, how do you live?

A mage casts magic.

A red mage can enhance/help other players, while a black mage is strictly damage-dealing. That’s right: The Boy’s a DDer – a damage-dealer.

He’s also a 100 out of a 100 on his fishing skills. In the beginning, he could spend hours catching the online version of a rubber boot. Now that he’ a 100, however, he catches what he terms high-level fish. Fish worth something. Fish others crave.

But what does he do with the fish? I’m glad you asked that.

He sends the fish to a “mule”. (You can only hold so much, after all, and so he has a mule.) The mule turns the fish into food, consumables, which in turn sell at the auction house, for which he gets “gil”.

You got all that?

Because of the game, The Boy says funny things.

And when I say “funny”, I mean “abbreviated”.

Note to the Boy from His Mother: Please put away clean dishes before you leave for work!
Note from the Boy to His Mother: Nowai.

That’s funny-boy-speak for “no way”.

Note to The Boy from His Mother: Making dinner for a change! Be home by 7:00!
Note from The Boy to His Mother: Kthxbai.

That’s more funny-boy-speak for “OK, thanks, good-bye”.

Every generation has a different way of expressing themselves.

Mine was just way groovier. You dig what I’m sayin’?



Braja said...

Pearl!! I'm your first Thursday comment-love!!!
Oh, baby, yeaaaah! (Austin)

Odd Chick said...

I'm not sure how I got here, but your blog is enormously enjoyable!!

Pearl said...

Braja! How are you doing?!

Hi, Odd Chick! :-)
Not sure how you got here, either, but glad you made it! Went over to your blog and I'm going to be checking it out, particularly the ranch in Colorado. I live in the city and my next vacation will be in the mountains or something the opposite of city!


Kavi said...



Anonymous said...

I can imagine those notes beein a bit confusing:P haha!
Maybe it is time to take this video game away from him?:p

and as a respons to your comments on my blog:
- now that you mention it... Maybe I shoud go with my clothes inside out one day, just to see if people notice it... Hmmm, I have to try that one!

Not The Rockefellers said...

I love the nowai, gonna have to start using that.

p'owned is funny too. I think it is a way to express domination and ownership.


Peace - Rene

Word verification :Undleve
Definition: The night before Undlday.

Atlsat said...

Great blog Pearl, you brightened my day immensely! Thanks!

Pearl said...

Hi, Kavi.
:-) You got that right!

Hi, Dee!
I'd take it away, but he's 24! As they say, you can TELL a 24-year-old, but you can't tell them much!

Ohai, Rene!
Love the definitions. :-)

Hi, Atlsat.
I'm glad to hear it!


Talullah said...

I have a strict rule at my house, Under no circumstances are you allowed to speak in text. When I ask a question, and the answers comes back to me in letters, for example,IDK,I have to spend too much time trying to decipher it and it just pisses me off. Maybe you should make that rule with the boy because it took me a second or three to figure out that "kthxbai" thing. (and wouldn't just be easier to just use "by" or "bi" than adding an "a" to it. Kinda defeats the purpose, no?)

Daisy said...

Hi Pearl - thanks for stopping by- I'm glad to have found your place! That is hilarious, won't it be funny when The Boy's children think he is way old school uncool for saying Kthanxbai!! They'll probably be speaking only in numbers by then or something...

Pearl said...

Hi, Tallulah.
As an ex-courtreporter, I have to admit that some of the text aspects amuse me. I like a good mystery!
Honestly, he's a great guy, very funny and very smart. If he was using "text speak" to write his papers or something, I'd have issues with that, but this is primarily him messing with me, which is what he does best.


Pearl said...

Hi, Daisy.
Just in numbers! Ha! That reminds me that me and The Boy actually have excellent communication skills just through raised eyebrows and whatnot. Might be another blog in there...

derfina said...

As a World of Warcraft dabbler, I understood all of this. Just figure it as a bitchin' foreign language he's minoring in!

Pearl said...

Derfina Baby, you and I are in wild agreement. :-)

Eric S. said...

That's way cool, LOL. NM txt talks, and drives me nuts. That and she has a bad habit of calling me DUDE. Seriously bad news, LOL. Loved the post.

Pearl said...

Eric, I've been called "Dude" myself. I'm not sure how I feel about that...

Lilly's Life said...

Thats hilarious - least you have the mysterious language decoded Pearl, just in case.

Morgan the (Almost) Muse said...

mmorpg FTW!

That is pretty funny though. I would play but I am not 'leet enough. :D

R. Jacob said...

I reply to many text messages with k. hitting the o seems like a lot of extra effort!