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Thursday, November 13, 2008

Ain’t No Party Like a Nordeast Party Cuz a Nordeast Party Don’t Stop

Actually, I’m not sure whether I’m having a party or not. Last time I had a party someone dropped something really heavy into the toilet, causing it to crack. Not enough of a crack that I had to buy a new one, mind you, but enough of a crack that you’d look down and say, “Hey! Is that a crack?”

What do you suppose someone dropped in there that was heavy enough to crack a toilet bowl? The mind reels.

At least that was better than the time (a good 10, maybe 12 years ago) when, drunk with friendship and beer, I failed to respond in a timely fashion to someone who was not only not drunk (she didn’t drink) but was not much of a friend, now that I think about it.

She was shouting at me, “You dropped something.”

“What?” I shouted. The live band made it hard to hear.

“You dropped something!”

“About 1:15, why?!”

“No! You dropped something!”

“Oh! Yeah! It’s upstairs! First door to the left!”

“No! You dropped something!”

This went on for quite a while. She finally came over and pointed to what I had dropped. A burning cigarette. A whole, burning cigarette. Thank you. Thank you for telling me that the burning cigarette that I had placed in the ashtray whilst cracking open a beer had fallen, burning a cigarette-shaped burn in my new carpet.

Now get outta my house.

Nah. She wasn’t responsible for my cigarette or my carpet, but would it have killed her to be a friend?

I’ve since sold that house.

Still, I do love a party. Love the house full, the trays and trays of food, the way the fridge fills with strange, exciting new beers. Love the impromptu dancing, the pictures and the hugs and the stories and the laughter.

I will, of course, be forced into my role of Maker of the Layered Taco Dip. Sure it’s fabulous, but is that all I am? The Maker of the Dip?

I’ve got needs, people! I’m a flesh-and-blood woman and I’ve got needs!

Yes, yes. Some of those needs are for Taco Dip, it’s true. But I want to be more than that. I want to be more than the Dip Maker.

I want to be The Hostess with the Mostess. With the Taco Dip.

Is that too much?


Judi "Jlo" Moran said...

Hi, Pearly-Girlie,
Hope you don't take offense at the nickname, but I just woke up and I'm a bit off.
Hope you have that party, 'cause I want to hear another funny party story out of it!

Kimmie said...

You're right! A true friend would have without a word spoken dived down to that carpet and grabbed that cigarette in mid-air before ever even hitting the floor - and then said "Hey, no prob"

You've got the nail on the head here :)

Braja said...

Are you the hostess with the mostess? Well I don't know honey...send me the recipe for that dip and I'll tell you. Better yet, send me the DIP!!! And HEY!! Where's the photo of Liza Bean? What have you done with the cat? Untie her, dammit!

Adlibby said...

Damnn it Pearl! Now I want taco dip!

Maybe the cat has been loco from hitting the dip?

derfina said...

Heh. The Innocent Bystander 'fixed' my toilet with a hammer that was heavy enough to put a crack in it! Now every time he sits on it I make cracks (HAR) about it having a crack in it and ON it at the same time.

Pearl said...

Hey, Judi.
No, I don't take offense at the nickname. Kinda like it!

Hi, Kimmie.
True, isn't it?
Well, the one good thing about a friend like that? When they're gone, you don't miss them!

Hi, Braja!
Have made a note to myself to bring in the cat photo for scanning. The party may have to be for Misfit Christmas (a late-night event for those who have lost their parents/are single/have no kids/just want to party). I'll include the recipe!

Hi, Adlibby!
Ah! This from a woman with a margarita as her picture! The lovely lime and salt combination along with the taco dip? Mmmm. Good bloggin'!

Hey, Derfina.
I read that one! Pretty funny. Have had similar experiences, which is why I follow Big Willie around every time I see he's carrying a tool, as he's prone to doing the same thing.
Hee hee. I said "tool". :-)


Not The Rockefellers said...

Pearl, you certainly know how to party! And my dear, you need one of those long assed "Breakfast at Tiffanys" style cigarette holders.

Peace - Rene

Pearl said...

Rene, wouldn't that be so cool???

Not that smoking is cool. Not at all.

Now somebody put those kids to bed!


ICKY said...

MmmmmmMMmMmMm.....taco dip.