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Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Thoughts While Upside Down

It is roughly 5:45 in the afternoon on a Monday afternoon, and I am, as is usual on a Monday afternoon, on my hands and feet upside down and staring at my knees: Downward Facing Dog. The yoga instructor is speaking.

“Keep your mind on your breath. Never lose sight of the breath. Turn down the busy chatter of the mind and focus on the breath.”

The cadence of her voice reminds me of the summer at my Grandma and Grandpa’s farm when I decided that I was going to read the bible from cover to cover. I don’t remember if I made it – I don’t think I did – but I do remember the strange emphasis on certain words: And it was good.

The yoga instructor is still speaking and it not only sounds biblical but evangelical, with a definite Southern accent.

“Igniting the breath of victory, ex-HALE, een-HALE, ex-HALE, een-HALE.”

In no time, of course, my mind has twisted the words to “exhale in hell, exhale in hell”.

Is this what I pay for by the month, auditory hallucinations?

Well, sure. Why not? Look at all the things we pay for – shoot, I bought a headache (which originally came in the form of a number of beer bottles) just a couple weeks ago. I’m not saying I regret it, actually. As a matter of fact, seems to me I had a good time.

I just had to pay for it twice.

Meanwhile, I’m still upside down, which only makes sense on a Monday.


Barbara Blundell said...

Hi Pearl
Must have been an international physical day. I've had my weekly ration of Pilates and apart from a rather shaky "tree" when I nearly fell over all went well !

Has your cat had a curtain call yet ?

Pearl said...

Hello there, Barbara!

If you've only NEARLY fallen over in "tree" than you've done very well! I don't consider the day complete until I've fallen over at least once...

The cat remains rather tight-lipped. I'm going to ply her with cream until she speaks -- and if it's in French, well, Cess has offered to translate!


Cess said...

i don t like mondays at all, i should do some yoga maybe, to work on my blood pressure :) Dunno yet how 'inhale' will do with an irish accent might be worth checkin :)


Pearl said...

Ah, Cess, I am a big fan of yoga. Keeps my eyes from spinning counter-clockwise on busy days.

Only side effect? I tend now to test my balance with silly poses whilst drinking. :-) Fun at parties! ha ha


mbuna53 said...

Testing your balance while drinking? that's crazy! Wait, I think I've done that before, can't....seem....to....remember....falling over....THUD!

cat feront un jour gouverne le monde

What was that???

Pearl said...

Hi, Mbuna.

I see the cat has gotten to you.


mbuna53 said...


Lilly's Life said...

Kudos to anyone who can turn themselves inside out - I have the DVDs and the books and need a class or two. My sister in law does it, my daughter does it and I need to do it. One day......soon.

Pearl said...

Hi, Lilly.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm not dedicated, I'm addicted! :-)


ugich konitari said...

You know, my late dad did Yoga for almost 70 of his 89 years, and the upside-down reminded me of the time when we were little children, and he would do this head stand (Sheershasana), and remain that way , and we used to try and balance books on his feet (he wouldn't shout in that pose)....

Then in our teenage, they told us walking with books on our heads was good for our posture etc.

I wonder what the books felt about all this human upside down behaviour....and it wasn't just Mondays, too.

Abhinav Rastogi said...

nice... keep up the yoga.. its good...take my word for it :) (even though i dont do yoga... i do know its benefits)

check out my photoshop works at my blog...

Jaywalker said...

Tagged you for an easy meme. Go play!

R. Jacob said...

I have tried yoga at home, the P90x version, quite stressful on this old body. You are very flexible to be able to do those poses. Tell Amy I am impressed with her crow pose!