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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I’d Like to Give the Glory to God

I try to keep myself amused. Un-amused, I’m apt to shop online or obsess about the ways in which my body is freckling and/or taking on extra pigment. These spots, what do they mean? I didn’t used to have freckles on my knees – or did I?

So I was watching TV the other night (you know, while between getting the cats to try on their Halloween costumes and alphabetizing my canned goods) and came across a quick shot of P. Diddy – or whatever we’re calling him, when we’re calling him, these days – holding up an award, accepting it with the words “I’d like to give the glory to God”.

Hold on there, Tex!

He’d like to give the glory to God.

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that there is a God. I’m not saying there isn’t. I’m saying I don’t know. But let’s say there is. Now why in the name of all that’s fattening would He need Sean “Puffy” Combs giving him “the glory”? Isn’t the glory already His?

Ah, the hard-partying piety of the P. Diddys of the world. This kind of stuff amuses me. When they're not being arrested for brandishing firearms in a crowd, evading the police, or settling paternity cases, they're offering up the glory. We’ve got football players dropping a knee in the end zone, crossing themselves, kissing their fingers and gesticulating towards the sky. “This one’s for you, Jesus!” Um-hmmmm. Because the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost have chosen sides, and guess what? You’re their favorite!

This is the stuff that passes for amusement in my neck of the woods: conversations and/or arguments with myself, because I’ve learned that even those that really seem to like me eventually get tired of hearing me scoff aloud.

For instance – and this is prime scoffing material for me, people – the couple that’s just undergone fertility treatments, spent months in the hospital, delivered six or more children, and then proclaim it to be “a miracle” or a “gift from God”.

No. It was not a gift from God, nor was it a miracle. It was brought to you courtesy of the grants that allowed for intense study, the folks who did the studying, those that became scientists and physicians, those who gave you what wasn’t going to happen naturally.

If there is a God – and again, I’m not saying there isn’t – but if there is, I doubt that he is involved one way or another with who wins what game, what the election outcome is, or whether or not you pick up Best Picture, Most Useless Celebrity 2008, or the dirty clothes off your bathroom floor.

He has bigger fish to fry, I’m sure.


Barbara Blundell said...

Did the Hallowe'en costumes fit O.K ? Will there be any photos please ?

Pearl said...

Hi, Barbara.
No photos. Liza stormed out of the house and is refusing to answer her cell...

And of course Dolly does a lot of semi-toothless muttering and I just don't give much of what she says any credence.


derfina said...


Pearl said...

Hey, Derfina.

I must admit that this posting worried me a little once I posted it. :-)


The Grandpa said...

Praise the Lord! Great post. What exactly are the cats dressing up like?

Pearl said...

Hi, Grandpa. :-)

First they had a little Ab Fab thing going on, but there was a fight as to who would be Eddie and who would be Patsy. Then there was talk about dying their hair and going as Redd Foxx. Now I don't know what's going on accept to say that Liza keeps asking me if I've seen the UPS man today...


mbuna53 said...

I could not agree with you more.

If there is a god, and I'm saying there isn't, I hope he/she/it has better things to do then worry about the outcome of some football game, if not then he/she/it is no god that I want to worship, not that I want to worship one at all.

Oh, I'm in big trouble now aren't I?

Blue Blaze Irregular #1 said...

Wait...Diddy isn't God? And he went out with J. Lo and everything! You're killing me.

Lilly's Life said...

By the grace of God I made it to your blog today to comment and ....

Not The Rockefellers said...

God just wants you to love him with all your, heart, soul and mind...self absorbed celebrities included.

Glory is accepted but must be followed up with loving your neighbor.

Hey P. Diddy, I am your neighbor, can I borrow a cup of ProActiv?

Peace - Rene

Braja said...

But Pearl, you didn't answer me: WHERE IS FOGHORN??!

And if I ever become rich and famous and have to accept an award, I'm gonna thank Pearl, and if they ask "Who's Pearl?" I'll finally be able to sing, "Pearl's a singer, and they say that she once cut a record. They played it for a week or so on the local radio; it never made it. But her blog did: she rocks the blogworld. All bow to Queen Pearl. Jesus didn't do it."

Adlibby said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Adlibby said...

Wouldn't God (if... blah, blah, blah) be a little bored with it all by now? He/She already has Oscars, Emmys, Grammys, and Super Bowl rings comin' out the wazzoooo!

On the other hand, that could make for a heavenly garage sale! How much is the glory, please?